Winner Takes All
Song that inspired this fic and how I imagine Heero sings.
Nickelback:Gotta be Somebody
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pbnRvAUQiI
Heero's song to Duo:
Nickelback:Never Gonna Be Alone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHj9UzV005k&feature=related
"I can't help that you're resistant to drugs," Sally Po grumbled
as she adjusted the sterilization chamber locked around both of Duo's legs.
Flat on his back in a Preventer hospital room, Duo knew how many times that resistance had saved his life during the war, so it seemed wrong, now, to curse it. Sitting four days with his wounded lower body in a metal tank, his bodily functions handled by catheters, and tubes pumping antibiotics and ineffectual painkillers into his system, was close to maddening. If his body would just accept what was good for it, he would have been out in two.
"There it goes again," Sally growled in frustration. She showed him her meter. He couldn't make heads or tails out of the complicated medical readings, but he understood her frustration.
"My body dumped the drugs again?" he sighed, depression deepening.
"I'm afraid so," Sally replied. She made a note on her handheld computer log and asked, "Rate your pain?"
"Eight," Duo replied, but then, "No, nine, really. Nine."
Sally made an entry. "Nausea?"
"Six."
"Disorientation?"
"Zero."
"That's good," she replied.
"The only thing," Duo grumbled.
"Headache?"
"Three." Duo rubbed at his forehead. "Once the fever went down, the pain did too."
She finished her notes and then patted his hand. "One more day, Duo. Tough it out. After all that blood that you lost, the fever, the severe infection, five days in a hospital isn't bad at all."
Duo glared. "Let me tie your legs together, and make you pee through a tube, for five days and see if you can say that again."
Sally leaned close and lightly thumped Duo on the head with her computer pad. "When death was the worst that you could have suffered, or double amputation the least, I'd shut up Maxwell and say a few words of thanks to the team that saved you from that." She straightened and tucked her pad under her arm. "Especially after the ungrateful wretch you've been these past days."
"I'll send them all flowers... later," Duo retorted. "Right now, they're just my daily team of torturers."
Sally chuckled. "I'll have to get them new name badges."
"Wasn't supposed to be funny," Duo groused and picked at the machine encasing his legs. She slapped the offending hand.
"Leave it alone, Maxwell," she warned for the thousandth time. "That machine is worth ten times what you'll ever make in salary. Don't destroy it."
"Yes, ma'am," he replied sarcastically.
She shook her head and sighed as she turned to go, but then, at the decontamination screen at the door, she paused and turned with a small smile. "Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. You can have visitors now. You're finally beyond the point where we have to worry about random germs re infecting you."
"That's why you're not wearing you 'safe suit'?" Duo wondered.
She raised eyebrows. "What other reason did you think I had?"
Duo snorted and picked at his blankets. "Oh, I dunno. Maybe you just got tired of taking care of my lousy ass and decided to do away with me?"
She sighed. "Seriously, Maxwell, you have issues. Maybe I should send the psych doctor to see you next?"
"All ready been certified insane, ma'am, "Duo snickered.
"So you have," she laughed.
"Done?" a familiar voice said outside the door.
"Done, Caskins, " Sally replied a she went through the contamination screen. "See if you can bring him something to do, so he doesn't tear the place apart with his boredom."
"Will do, Dr. Po," Caskins chuckled as he went through the screen and grinned at Duo.
Duo glared.
Caskins grunted. "What's that look for?"
"Go ahead and say it," Duo snarled. "Let's get this over with."
Caskins moved to Duo's bed. He tossed motorcycle and car magazines onto the machine around Duo's legs and placed a white bag on top of that. "I bring entertainment and jelly donuts. I don't see what you're complaining about, partner."
"Strawberry?" Duo groaned as he snatched at the bag and opened it up. He inhaled deeply, but his grin was half hearted as he eyes locked on Caskins again. "The rest?"
Caskins sighed as he snagged a chair and sat down. "Okay, since I seem to be required to say these things, What the hell were you thinking! I was right when I said that you need me to watch your back! Ever heard of a goddamn flashlight Maxwell? Ever hear of looking before you jam your body into a nest of mud and rusted refuse?" Caskins took a breath as if he had made himself weary and then grinned again. "That fit your bill of what an asshole partner should say?"
"Yes," Duo replied as he took out a donut and eyed the door.
Caskins frowned. "Not coming."
Duo's eyes went to him again. "Hmm?"
"Yuy," Caskins clarified. "He wasn't out there."
Duo felt a tightness in his stomach that suddenly made the sweet taste of the donut sour. He shrugged and lowered his eyes. "Whatever." he mumbled after swallowing. "Don't need two people chewing me out."
Caskins rubbed at the back of his neck and shrugged, "Don't know about that. His report said it was an unforeseen accident. He wasn't critical of you at all. In fact, he commended your dedication in wanting to save the integrity of the mission."
Duo felt stunned and then he scowled. "That wasn't what happened."
Caskins raised an eyebrow as he took a magazine and began flipping through it. "No?"
"No," Duo insisted. "I screwed up. I hot dogged it. I need to change the report to reflect that."
"Taking yourself down, that's sad," Caskins replied. "You really need to talk to a psych doctor."
Duo growled under his breath and Caskins snickered at him.
There was silence as Duo ate and Caskins looked through his magazine, but then Duo dared, "Guess you're getting it on with Yuy, since I've been out of action?"
Caskins tossed the magazine on top of the others and stood up as he replied, "You have the dating skills of a four year old, Maxwell.... well, maybe a three year old. You had him to yourself and all you did was hike and wallow in the mud. I hardly need to take advantage, so I didn't. Besides, that guy isn't good at making himself available. He's never home when he's off work and he's never not doing something when he is working. That guy needs some serious lessons in 'down time'. If I'm lucky, I may be the one to teach him. Later, partner. I'll be helping you check out of here tomorrow they tell me, but you're still on medical leave for another week. I'll stock your apartment with food and make sure you don't make your place a pig pen while you're recovering... or more of one, I should say."
"Thanks," Duo replied and tried to make it sound genuine.
"Don't hurt yourself," Caskins chuckled as he left.
Duo started as Wu Fei came into the room not seconds after. He walked to Duo's bedside, looked him over, eyed the tubes and their destinations, and then grimaced as he piled memory sticks and a handheld reader onto the magazines.
"How humiliating," Wu Fei said.
"Definitely," Duo agreed.
"To take home with you, tomorrow," Wu Fei told him. "You're not weak, so I expect your finished work downloaded on my computer in two days."
"Will do," Duo replied.
Wu Fei grunted at the machine as if it were personally offending him, turned on his heel, and left.
Duo dozed off a few boring hours after that, the white noise of heart monitors, pumps, and the daily hospital noise soothing in its own way. It was a touch to his hair that startled him awake. He felt disoriented, unfocused, and still half asleep as instincts tried to asses if he was in any danger.
Heero. It was Heero, Duo finally realized, as he looked over the young man in casual jeans and dark t-shirt, his hair pulled back in a small pony tail. That detail made Duo doubt that he was even really awake. All of that disordered chocolate brown hair, tamed into a hairstyle Duo would never have imagined, convinced him that this wasn't a dream.
"Heero," Duo said and couldn't formulate anything else to say.
"I wanted to apologize," Heero told him, very formally. "Off the record."
"Off the record?" Duo mumbled and then cleared his throat. "Are you lying to cover up my mistake, Yuy?"
Heero frowned. "I don't falsify reports. I reported the facts as I saw them."
"So... why apologize?" Duo wondered in confusion.
Heero jammed hands into his jean pockets and found the floor interesting. "My failure to command the mission properly caused your injuries."
"But you didn't report it that way?" Duo struggled to understand.
"I reported factually," Heero replied. "I didn't feel the need to report on underlying cause and effect."
Duo felt his headache growing stronger. "Heero, would you say something that I understand?"
Heero frowned, took a moment, and then replied, "Everything we did was necessary and proper to the mission. You acted properly, asking permission and receiving orders from your commanding officer. I acted properly in giving you those orders."
Duo rubbed at his forehead. "But you still want to apologize... for both of us doing our job?"
"For not anticipating-" Heero began, but Duo cut him off.
"Stop right there!" Duo growled. "You are not going to tell me that you should have been psychic and told me to 'Be careful, there might be sharp crap under the house, Maxwell.' That's just... stupid."
Heero smiled a little and then looked up sideways through some of his hair, that had escaped the pony tail. "Then don't try and amend a report saying that you should have been psychic and known as well."
Duo stared and then blushed hotly. He had used Wu Fei's handheld to try and do just that.
"I intercepted your amendment. My report stands," Heero told him firmly.
They stared at each other and then Duo blushed hotter as he said,. "Okay, I get it. Thanks."
Heero checked his watch, a complicated affair with dozens of dials and readouts. He looked over Duo's tubes and machinery and echoed Wu Fei's grimace of distaste. "You're out tomorrow." It was statement, as if he wanted to offer Duo reassurance.
"Yes," Duo replied. "I'll be at home for another week, though. Caskins is looking after me."
Duo was just making conversation, trying to fill the void while he figured out how to take advantage of Heero's visit to ask him something more personal. He wasn't prepared for Heero to look suddenly irritated.
"I'll ask Une to keep me apprised of your availability," Heero said, almost coldly. He made a motion with his watch as he said. "I have an appointment."
He didn't elaborate as he turned and left. Duo stared after him, perplexed. "I don't get what just happened," he muttered as he took out another donut and started eating. Heero had been considerate, friendly, concerned for Duo's career. The sudden freeze didn't make any sense at all. He'd obviously said something wrong. Duo went over his own words in his mind, but couldn't see anything wrong. It came to him suddenly that maybe, unlike Wu Fei, Heero was considering him weak. Taking that long to recuperate after spending four days in the hospital for infected cuts did seem over the top, he decided. He needed to be tougher than that and get back to work sooner. Caskins already had him beat in sheer physique and good looks, he thought, he'd be damned if he would give the man even more help by looking even more inferior.
_________________________
The world needed to stop bleeding away and then coming back with a rush, Duo decided, as he leaned against a brick wall and checked his hand held readout of the building ahead of him. The stuffed with cotton effect, along with an odd numbness, had to be the pain meds trying to give him a heart attack. They were not meant to be used by a person trying to do physical activity, or to have their side effect, of making a person severely drowsy, counteracted by eight cups of coffee and a candy bar. He was still on his feet, though, and even at forty percent, he was still a force to be reckoned with. Besides, it was a rookie job, anyway, one he had been ashamed to take. He wouldn't go back to headquarters without his readings and add to that embarrassment.
"Come on and do the deal," Duo grumbled under his breath as he wiped a shaking hand across his brow and kept his wavering eyesight on the computer simulation that gave him a mock up visual of what the readings meant. Four males, one female, a dog, and substances being handled that were clearly illegal. The readout was telling him the males were middle age and the female was very young. "Bastards doing deals in front of kids. You should get life just for that."
Just then, Caskins was probably knocking on his apartment door and realizing that he wasn't there, Duo thought. He'd be puzzled by Duo's motorcycle and car still in his parking spaces, and then, because he wasn't a dull boy, he'd realize that Duo hadn't been crazy enough to drive on meds and had taken the city shuttle to work. Duo could imagine the man jumping in his sports car and racing to work, hell bent on stopping Duo from what he was doing right now.It was worth it, though, to see Heero's puzzled respect when he had seen the man in the hall at Preventer headquarters and mentioned, in passing, that he was off on a mission. Of course, Heero hadn't sat through Sally's lecture about his medical condition and his absolute need to rest. He had no way of knowing to sound the alarm and have Duo stopped. Caskins had. Caskins was going to be pissed, pissed enough to have Duo recalled. Duo already had his 'cell phone on the fritz' story ready.
The world tried to bleed away again. Duo took deep, steadying breaths, feeling the bone deep ache in his legs breech the meds. He was shaking as if he had the chills, his fingers having a hard time holding onto the handheld.
"Come on!" Duo growled, willing the people to make the drug deal. He wasn't going to be doing any arrests. That was for later, when agents could review the evidence and trace the drugs back to their source. You didn't nail the little fish when the sharks were still out there eating everyone.
Duo had an image of a shark eating street people and began to nod wearily. He frowned and jerked himself back awake, straightening from the wall as he realized it for what it was, his mind's desperate attempt to shut down into sleep.
"Not yet," Duo told it.
At last the deal was made. Duo finished recording, rested for a long moment, and then made his slow, painful way out of the ally and down the street. It wasn't a good neighborhood, not the kind where you let your kid play outside or carry a lot of cash, even if you had it. The establishments were all seedy, old and falling down, and the hotels gave hourly rates. The shuttle itself was leery of the neighborhood and the station was a good walk when Duo wasn't feeling good for walking at all. He kept his eyes peeled for a cab, without much hope, when he wasn't glaring and making sure the local toughs didn't think that he was an easy mark with his slow, almost staggering steps.. A hand periodically placed under his coat let them know that he was armed.
Sitting down in the shuttle at last was a relief. As the slum slipped away and security prowled the aisles between the seats, Duo felt safe enough to relax. He downloaded from the handheld to Preventer headquarters, making sure that his dearly paid for information was safe. As the machine told him that it was complete, and the small green indicator flashed cheerily, Duo felt the numbness, the world bleeding away, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
"Hey? Sir? Uh, Preventer Maxwell?"
Duo had a hand on his gun even as his muzzy mind tried to identify his danger.
"You fell asleep," the voice continued as Duo focused on an elderly shuttle employee looking anxious. "You were down in the seat. No one realized.... You don't look well. Should we call someone?" the man asked.
Duo assessed his condition and the time. It was well past when he should have gone home for the day. He could see a cleaning crew standing at the door to the shuttle car, looking as anxious as the elderly man. He supposed that they had found him. Blinking and turning his head to look out his window, he could see the main station and lights just beginning to come on for the night crews.
"Call me a cab," he told them.
The man looked relieved but still anxious as he nodded and motioned to another man to do that. "Should I get something for you? Are you certain that I shouldn't call someone, Agent Maxwell?"
It filtered down into Duo's medicated confusion that this man shouldn't know who he was. He was in plain clothes. It was then that he saw his wallet spread out on the seat beside him, open to his ID. He shivered. The man had been in his personal space. He had touched Duo long enough to get at his wallet. That was a clear indication of just how unfit he was to be on duty.
"I'll be fine," Duo told him more firmly. "Just get me that cab."
Duo levered himself up, using the back of the seat in front of him. His legs were shaky and throbbing, his wounds feeling fresh instead of well healed. He gave himself a moment to find the strength, and then began edging himself out. The elderly man looked ready to reach out and help, but Duo assured him that he was fine.
"Long day," Duo excused himself, with a lopsided grin. "I'll be okay."
It was a relief to find the cab already waiting when Duo finally managed to get down the aisle and out the door of the shuttle. Climbing right into a warm cab, gave him confidence that he could make it the rest of the way home. After giving directions to the driver and a thank you wave to the shuttle crew, he made the call that he had been dreading.
The night crew at Preventers were relieved to hear from him. The woman who answered the phone call, expressed a strong desire from Une and Po to speak with him and mentioned many calls by Caskins.
"I'll speak with them in the morning," Duo assured her. "If anyone else calls, tell them mission accomplished and I'm on downtime."
"Yes. sir," she replied, but didn't sound happy with him. He supposed that he wouldn't either with so many people wanting to know what the hell he was up to and where he was. The shit would hit the fan, later, he was sure, but he had Heero's respect and Duo thought that he would pay as high a price as he had to for that.
The world bled away again. When it came back Duo couldn't find the strength to open his eyes. The familiar sound of a heart monitor made him twitch and imagine the hug of a machine around injured legs.
"I thought that you were supposed to be brilliant, Yuy!" Caskin's familiar voice snarled, but in a low, tightly controlled way. "How could you not see him and think it a little odd that he was going on a mission?"
"We aren't like you," Heero growled back. "Our training, the modifications we've gone through... you wouldn't understand. Even Chang didn't see anything wrong with him taking the assignment."
"You are all cracked in the head!" Caskins strangled the shout and then said in a much lower tone. "He's lucky he isn't in intensive, though even Po doesn't know why."
"I've told you why," Heero retorted. "I don't know why you're so excited. He's just exhausted himself. I'm not even sure why he's in the hospital. The clinic would have been adequate."
"You son of a bitch!" Caskins exclaimed. "Don't you even care, even a little bit, that he was shuttling, unconscious, on the city loop for most of the day, and then passed out in a cab?"
"I do," Heero replied, "I'm not his lover, though, so I'm not blinded, like you, with irrational reactions to a situation that might have been serious, but wasn't. Duo miscalculated the state of his health. He needs to go home. He needs to rest. He needs to not go on any more missions until Po can certify him fit for action. He doesn't need hysterics."
"Wait! Wait! Back up the shuttle, Yuy!" Caskin's finally interjected. "I'm not Duo's Lover. Where the hell did you get that? He's not my type and we hate each other when we're not doing the partner thing. Like oil and water. It's you I've been trying to date. Not that you've noticed. Can we get back to Duo acting like a complete moron, now, and about how you and Chang let a guy, a few days out of the hospital, go on a mission? Hey? Are you even listening Yuy?"
"I thought..." Heero didn't finish the sentence.
"Well, you were wrong. I'm still single and free for any dating action. This is about my partner, now, though. I don't care how much training or modifications he's had, someone should still have gone, 'Oh, shit, no, you're not going, you stupid fuck!' when he asked for a mission."
"It was surveillance and recording," Heero replied. "Why would I doubt Duo's ability to carry out something that simple? Why would I insult him, and embarrass him, by keeping him from taking it, if he thought that he could? Po said that it was the medication that caused his difficulties. He had to take too much to compensate for his body's ability to dump it. That caused unforeseen physical distress."
"You sound like a goddamn computer!" Caskin's exploded. "I flat out don't get you, Yuy."
Duo heard angry footsteps going away. There was a silence, or as much a silence as the hospital would allow, and then there was a light touch on his hair. He couldn't open his eyes, couldn't bring up that last bit of will that would have allowed him to wake completely.
"Stupid," Heero's voice said softly, and fingers gave Duo's bangs a very slight tug of admonishment. "I searched all over the city for you. Don't do that to me again."
That could have meant so many things, despite how Duo's heart wanted it to mean only one thing. Sleep claimed him again, though, without his being able to convince himself that Heero was admitting to something, something that he would only voice when he thought that Duo was safely senseless. In the morning, he promised himself, he would figure it out. It was time to stop being timid and doubtful. It was time to ask Heero Yuy some questions.
___________________________________________________
"So?" Duo grabbed a red rag and nervously wiped his oily hands with it as he left the black and chrome motorcycle that he had been working on. "What do you think?"
"Nice machines," Heero commented as he turned almost completely around looking at the bikes in the storage area in various stages of rebuild. He was still in his Preventer uniform, hair in its normal state of disordered mess and his unzipped jacket the only indication that he was off duty.
Duo smiled, but he was a bit disappointed. Heero was obviously not an enthusiast, or even seemingly aware of how rare some of the bikes were, especially the three that ran on gasoline. Heero's comment was appreciative but not the comment of someone who shared Duo's passion.
"It's my hobby," Duo said lamely when the silence stretched a little too long. "Helps me relax."
Heero nodded and then gave him a critical eye. "You are relaxing?"
Duo felt a blush of embarrassment. He ducked his head as he tossed the rag onto a work table. "Yeah, nothing but tinkering and lounging in front of the vid for two weeks, per Doctor Po and Commander Une."
"Your fault," Heero said with an edge of harshness.
Duo nodded. "My fault. I pushed it and screwed myself up."
Another long silence stretched. Duo had invited the man into his most personal space, a space that he had never allowed anyone else to enter. It had been a statement all his own, an opening salvo into something that would be even more personal. He was getting cold feet now. He wasn't feeling the connection that he had expected, the moment that would have allowed him to say what he needed to say to Heero. Heero wasn't dropping barriers, wasn't relaxing and appreciating the bikes with any warmth. For a man who had his own hobby, who had his own way of relaxing that was as secret to his working life as Duo's bikes, he was seemingly unaware of the gold pass card that he had been handed to gain entrance to Duo's most personal place.
Duo chewed on his bottom lip and turned to sit down on an old rolling mechanic's chair. His pain pills had been adjusted, yet again, but they were still making him dizzy and nauseated. He mentally kicked himself for having started this before he was completely well. The thought of Caskins having free reign to date Heero had been his driving force, though.
"Those three machines aren't street legal," Heero felt the need to comment, pointing at the gas powered bikes.
"I hose the exhausts when I work on them," Duo replied with a prickle of irritation.
"Why work on them when you aren't allowed to ride them?" Heero wondered as he wandered over to one and examined it like the Preventer agent that he was. Duo could almost feel him ready to write a citation. It made his irritation rise a notch more.
"I have papers to own them," Duo felt the need to say defensively. "They're museum pieces. I'm allowed to maintain them."
"Do you display them somewhere?" Heero wondered as he crouched to look over the gas tank.
"No," Duo admitted. He felt his embarrassment rise along with his irritation.
Heero looked back at him, puzzled. "No? Then why...?"
"I just like having them, okay?" Duo snapped.
Heero frowned and straightened. "It seems rather useless-"
"Like your singing?" Duo snarled and then felt a shock that matched the expression on Heero's face at the realization of what he'd just said. He tried to back track as Heero's expression turned to embarrassment, first, and then to anger. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean... I just... goddam pain pills! They're making me stupid, Heero. I didn't mean that at all!"
"How did you find out..." Heero began and then his jaw clenched for a moment before he asked tightly, "Why did you ask me to come here?"
Duo knew the tone that said, louder than words, 'Let's get this over with so that I can leave, you fucker.' He rubbed hands over his face in despair as he took a deep calming breath to get his wits back together.
"I'm sorry," Duo repeated. "I wanted... We have things in common. We should... talk... be friends... I thought..." He stopped and glared down at his clenched hands. "I guess I was wrong. This was stupid. Just chalk it up to over medication, Heero." He swallowed hard and added, "I really didn't mean what I said about your singing. It's not useless. My bikes aren't useless. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about it."
Duo chanced a glance up at Heero and saw the man standing, looking down at the floor, one hand raking through his hair as if he too was trying to control his emotions. "Did you look in my restricted files?" Heero wanted to know.
Duo felt a painful lump in his chest as he nodded and admitted, "Yeah."
"Why?"
"I wanted to know more about you. I'm sorry," Duo said yet again. "You can put me up on charges. It was wrong."
"Why?" Heero repeated, not satisfied.
The silence stretched. Duo knew that he had made a large mistake. He could only tell the truth, now, bare and defenseless to however Heero wanted to treat him. The man was owed that for Duo's intrusions into his life.
"I've..." Duo struggled, his confession making his face flame with embarrassment. "I'm like Caskins."
"Like Caskins?" Heero repeated, confused.
"I...I...like...men," Duo confessed and then swiveled the chair to put his back to Heero, unable to face him. "I was trying to figure out how to get you to... like me...go out with me..." He clenched his hands together, trying not to tremble with emotion. "Stupid... just like my gas powered bikes, I guess. Both are never going to see the light of day."
"I have to think," Heero said. "I'm going."
"Yeah," Duo replied and had to clear his throat when it grew tight and he felt his eyes sting. He imagined Heero hating him, now, and storming into Une's office demanding action for his tampering in his files. It's only what he deserved, he thought bitterly.
Heero's footsteps rang on the concrete floor, but then they paused at the large double doors of the warehouse. His voice came back to Duo, an admission. "You didn't need to tell me where your warehouse was. I already knew."
Then the doors closed and Duo was left alone with his shock.
________________________
"What is it, Caskins?" Duo dumped a load of file sticks into an out basket at the edge of his desk and leaned his head on his fist in utter boredom.
Caskins looked uncomfortable as he sat down. His hand sifted through the file sticks. "Paperwork sucks."
"Doing other people's paperwork double sucks," Duo growled. "Until Po says I'm clear for duty, I get desk duty and read about other agent's thrilling cases."
"Well, only another week," Caskins said.
"Did you want something?" Duo wanted to know irritably. "You can see that my in box is still piled high. Everyone's been way too happy to give me their work to do."
"Yeah, uh, no, uh.." Caskins sat back in his chair, looked like he was gathering strength, and then burst out with, "I've been trying to set you up with Yuy!"
Duo stared, blinked, and then replied, "My meds must be screwing with me. I really thought that you said something about... trying to set me up with Heero. That would be crazy, though, 'cuz everyone knows that you only think of yourself... and your dick."
Caskins let out an explosive breath and said, blushing with embarrassment. "I know it does sound crazy, even to me, but I actually got tired of you moping around, lonely, single, sexless." He shuddered. "That's just not a state any man wants to be in, especially me.... so... I thought... well..." He searched for an explanation.
"Thought?" Duo prompted, a deadly glint in his eye.
"Well, Yuy started working here and I saw how you were looking at him, wanting him bad so I... PRETENDED TO WANT HIM, TOO, SO THAT YOU WOULD GET JEALOUS AND GET THE BALLS TO GO ATER HIM YOURSELF!"
Caskins was out of his chair and out the door with a speed and skill that left Duo leaning over his desk and grasping at the air where he had been.
"You SONOFABiTCH!" Duo snarled. "Come back here so I can kill you!"
Caskins used the door for cover and said nervously, "I didn't mean any harm. I'm your partner, I'm supposed to have your back. Yuy is about as good for you as a ticking time bomb, though. I'm sorry I stuck my nose in your business. Forget about him, Maxwell. You're better off with your right hand than trying anything with that cold bastard."
Duo fisted his hands, panting hard with fury, and said, "If you ever get a thought that doesn't revolve around you or your dick, ever again, ignore it, or it will be on your tombstone. Got it?"
"Got it. Sorry. Really."
Caskins wisely beat a hasty retreat and Duo found himself sitting down heavily, still breathing hard with anger. He had made decisions that had cost him because of the belief that he was in competition with Caskins. He had risked his health and showed Heero Yuy his private space. He had made a fool of himself. He could have taken his time, gone smooth and easy, let Heero see what kind of man he was and how well they could work together.... live together.... have a life together.
Duo put his face in his hands.
"Pain bad?" Po asked as she sat in the seat that Caskins had vacated.
Duo looked up and lowered his hands, not caring what expression she saw on his face. "You don't have anything that will get rid of this pain."
Po grimaced. "I heard. Your partner is a real dumbass, but he did care."
"I can do without that." Duo growled.
"I don't think you can," Po replied seriously. "I think he was right about that much. You are chicken shit when it comes to relationships, Maxwell."
"Is that a medical opinion, or did you get a psyche degree when I wasn't looking?" Duo said sarcastically.
"It's common knowledge," Po replied, unruffled as she pulled out an electronic palm notepad and made notes. "You've left a trail of failed attempts since you started at Preventers."
"If you're done making me feel worse, I'll get back to my paperwork, Doctor." Duo dumped his in box of file sticks onto his desk, fished out one, and loaded his laptop with it as if she had ceased to exist.
"I did have a purpose in coming here," Po told him with an official air.
"Something to do with your own field, I hope," Duo muttered back.
"Well it is your first day back to work and I am required to check up on you," Po told him. "Now, rate your leg pain, one to ten."
"Three," Duo replied grumpily.
"Really> That's good!" Po said, pleased, and then asked, "Headaches? Dizziness? Nausea, trouble sleeping... sorry, trouble staying awake? Forgetfulness, disorientation? Hot spots? Constipation?"
"I've only been here an hour, Po," Duo complained. "No, to all of it. Just... well, things ache bad when I don't take the meds."
"You're still healing. Give it time," she assured him.
Wu Fei entered looking stiff and formal as he nodded to Sally. "Doctor," he greeted her and then, scowling at Duo, he said, "My best man has been a complete waste for too long, Maxwell."
"I am getting better," Duo retorted.
"Not you, Yuy!" Wu Fei clarified. "I don't know what's going on between you two, and I don't want to know. Just... fix it."
"What makes you think that I have anything to do with what's up with Yuy?" Duo demanded angrily, but then worriedly, "What is up with him? What's going on?"
"He's probably recovering from another of your failed attempts at a relationship," Po guessed as she rose and closed her notebook.
"Relationship?" Wu Fei swore in Chinese and then exclaimed,"Maxwell! How many times will you break Preventer rules and make my command intolerable?"
"We're not in a relationship!" Duo shouted back. "Now tell me what's wrong with Heero!"
"He's distracted, like a sleep walker," Wu Fei complained. "I demanded an explanation of his odd mood, but he only said something about having seen you and needing time to consider his future."
"He took leave?" Duo wondered sharply in disbelief.
"Yes, very unwise considering his new status here. Une was not pleased," Wu Fei replied.
"This is my fault," Duo said as he scooped the file sticks back into his in basket and closed his laptop. "I have to go see him. He can't screw up because of me. I have to tell him..."
"Tell him what?" Po wanted to know.
Duo shook his head impatiently as he used the desk to lever himself to his feet. "I don't know... maybe I'll figure it out before I get to his place."
"Do you know where that is?" Wu Fei wondered.
Duo limped to the door and then stopped looking back at Wu Fei. "If you want your best agent back, you'll give it to me."
Wu Fei looked sour and then sighed as he scribbled the address on a slip of paper. "Why not break a few more rules...?"
--------------------------------------------------
Duo wasn't sure what he was expecting, but showing up at Heero's apartment building caused him to check the address and wonder if Wu Fei had sent him on a goose chase for spite. Like his singing hobby, the man's choice of residence, was unexpected. Jammed between two older buildings, it seemed to be spilling out into the street in a collection of odd shapes and loud primary colors. Flower boxes were hung under windows, and someone's underwear and socks were strung on a line hanging from a bizarre green turtle that looked as if it were exploding out of one wall and a colorful parrot that was in a glide towards another.
"What the f-...." Duo muttered as he tried to find the front door. He finally settled on a lemon yellow revolving paddle wheel on it's side, and cautiously pushed a paddle until it allowed him to enter a lobby.
The building didn't get any saner. A big, hallowed out apple was the front desk, where a man gave him a cheery wave over. A yellow ladder led up to the ceiling and a hole there led, God only knew where. The carpet was tropical themed and more ceramic parrots flew in and out of walls, some just showing their back tail feathers, or a beak.
"Come to gawk or come to see someone?" the man asked.
Duo looked down at his address and tried to focus. "I... uh... this has got to be a bad joke. Heero wouldn't live in a place like this."
"Heero Yuy?" the man asked with raised eyebrows. "This is new. No one's ever come to see him before. Does he know you're coming to visit?"
"No," Duo admitted. "He really does live here?" Duo asked in disbelief.
"Heero Yuy, Preventer Agent, and famous hero," the man clarified and eyed Duo more closely. "He is who you're looking for?"
"Yes," Duo waved the address. "Room B36."
"Second floor," the man supplied and then became suspicious. "You aren't from the vid news?"
"I'm a fellow agent," Duo reassured him and flipped out his badge.
The man smiled again. "Well, then I won't follow you up. Have a nice visit."
Duo started to walk towards the elevator and then stopped and turned back.
The man said with a chuckle, as if reading his mind, "We're all artists here. Some of us like to draw on the walls."
"Oh..." Duo wasn't sure that explained much, but it fit more with what he knew about Heero. A musician would want to be among other artists, other musicians.
As the elevator started upwards, and the sounds of whale music startled Duo, he felt a wave of heavy depression. He traced the mural of whales that covered the elevator walls with one finger and decided, before the elevator doors opened again, that his pursuit of Heero Yuy was a lost cause. They had shit in common outside of work. You couldn't build a relationship out of that.
Musical notes were painted on the hallways walls of the second floor. They danced along likes waves, and tangled around each doorway, before going on to the next. Duo could hear a violin somewhere, and a flute further away.
Knocking On Heero's door took a long moment of gathering courage. When Heero opened the door, Duo found himself at a complete loss as to what to say.
"Duo," Heero said and glanced up and down the hallway as if expecting more people. When he was satisfied that Duo was alone, his next question was obvious. "Getting into my personal files again?"
Duo felt a hot blush and it was hard to say, "Yes... but for a good cause."
Was he angry? Duo didn't see it in Heero's expression. He was seeing more of a resigned attitude, a man confronting something that he had hoped to avoid. It confused Duo. He had been ready for angry, ready for out right rejection.
"Can I come in?" Duo asked.
Heero nodded, raked a hand through his chocolate hair, and then led the way inside. Duo followed and closed the door behind him before he turned to see Heero's home. After the shock of the apartment building, he was ready for anything, but he found himself confused again, instead. It looked like the inside of a ship; bare metal walls and rivets, beams overhead, a utilitarian kitchen, and a metal table and chair placed near a vid screen bolted to one wall. A pallet, Japanese style, was rolled against one wall.
The table was littered with papers, words and musical notes scrawled across them. An unholstered gun was being used for a paper weight. Exercise weights on the floor looked scuffed and well used, as if he switched off writing with exercising.
"I like what you've done with bland," Duo found himself saying and then winced as he looked for Heero's reaction. He caught a smile, before Heero pulled another chair out of a storage closet and placed it at the table.
"I'm not an artist," Heero said as he sat down and motioned Duo to do the same. "I moved here, because they don't complain about my music. I could actually do without their... decor."
Duo felt a keen relief. It was obvious enough to tease another smile out of Heero. Maybe he still had a chance, Duo thought, if Heero wasn't pissed about everything else.
"I'm sorry," Duo began. "Your private life is none of my business. Whatever I said, I didn't mean. Whatever I did, you shouldn't let it effect your career."
Heero stacked some papers in some sort of order. "You wanted to make my life your business. That's what you told me. Are you now saying that's not true?"
Duo stared and blinked and then slowly admitted, "I wasn't lying."
"How do you think I'm feeling?" Heero asked.
"I don't know," Duo replied.
Heero looked disappointed. "Then we really don't have anything else to say to each other."
"Wait!" Duo exclaimed, suddenly understanding. "I mean, I guess I do, but... it's because of me... because I called your hobby useless. That must have really hurt. I'm sorry. I was just being stupid and defensive."
"Accepted," Heero said and Duo was left blinking again.
"Okay," Duo finally managed, "Then you're going back to work?"
"Nothing is resolved yet," Heero snorted. "I still need to think about things."
"Things...?" Duo was at a loss.
Heero shrugged without offering a definition.
"And... this is my fault, you having to think... about things?" Duo wondered.
"I wouldn't say it was your fault, no, but... no, I'm not going to tell you anything until I've thought this through," Heero told him firmly.
"What happens if Preventers fires you?" Duo asked him anxiously. "That will be my fault, then."
Heero smirked as he rose and motioned Duo towards the front door. "That won't happen," he promised Duo as he opened the door.
"Why not?" Duo demanded.
The smirk turned into a grin,. "Because I'm Heero Yuy and because Une isn't as crazy as she pretends."
"Oh," Duo said in a small voice and then asked, "Any time table as to when I might know what's going on?"
"No," Heero replied.
"Okay, well, can I at least know what the hell these walls say?" Duo demanded. "Then I can at least claim to know something."
Heero glanced at the walls and then replied, "Rhapsody In Blue. George Gershwin."
"I don't know what that means," Duo said dejectedly.
"Look it up," Heero suggested.
The door was closed, then, and Duo found himself taking the elevator back down to the lobby knowing less than when he had begun his trip to save Heero's career.
______________________________________
"Your personal life should not only be none of my business, it shouldn't be a high priority on my list of concerns," Wu Fei growled uncomfortably as he tossed memory sticks into Duo's in box. "You've made it so."
"I'm really feeling the love, Chang," Duo replied sarcastically.
"Really? All that I'm feeling is extreme irritation at this situation," Wu Fei snapped back. "Since that is entirely your fault, my irritation is directed solely at you."
"Maybe you can regulate your feelings like a well oiled computer, but not many people can," Duo retorted.
"You don't oil computers Maxwell and most people are concerned when their personal life impacts their careers to this extent." Wu Fei told him. "Une is almost ready to bring you up on charges-"
"Like hell," Duo replied, cutting him off. "Don't feed me bullshit."
"Sabotage at the very least," Wu Fei insisted.
"Sabotage?" Duo repeated, incredulous.
"You managed to take out Preventers best agent and incapacitate yourself," Wu Fei pointed out. "I would definitely call that sabotaging operations."
"What do you want from me?" Duo exploded. "Maybe you don't like my sexual preference, or who my preference is, but it's what it is! I can't change that."
"Perhaps Yuy is the one who minds the most?" Wu Fei suggested as he picked up Duo's in file and sifted through the memory sticks.
"Yeah, meaning?" Duo pulled the basked out of Wu Fei's hands and put it firmly on the desk. He took out a stick and put it into his computer.
"Perhaps what he is wrestling over, is whether he can work effectively here, with such 'distractions'." Wu Fei suggested bluntly.
Duo scowled. "You're saying he's a homophobe?"
"I think that I would find it difficult to perform my job, if two men that I closely worked with, were pursuing me... sexually," Wu Fei replied and looked even more uncomfortable.
"Caskins isn't pursuing him and you're putting your own homophobe spin on it, Chang," Duo replied. "I don't see you running off scared because Po and that little Tina Lui are after your tail. In fact, the relationships of other agents doesn't seem to bother you at all."
Wu Fei leaned on Duo's desk, to put himself in Duo's face. "Don't ever accuse me of double standards, Maxwell. I'm on record as having spoken to heterosexual agents about their relationships inside of Preventers, when it impacts their performance. This case is extreme, though. Yuy has left Preventers-"
"No, he hasn't," Duo insisted. "He said so. He just needs... to think. Whatever that means."
"I violated Preventer rules so that you could find out what that meant," Wu Fei growled as he straightened again.
"Have you been to his place?" Duo asked. "It's like Trowa's circus tent, only ten times worse in the bizarre department."
"I've seen it," Wu Fei replied. "Though not in any non official capacity. I must admit to my own confusion."
"Not the guy you thought he was, right?" Duo pressed. When Wu Fei shook his head, Duo pounced on that. "So, cut me some slack, okay? I'm trying to erase this image of Heero from the past, and replace it with... rock singer, weird apartment Heero. It's not easy figuring out what he's thinking when I was so wrong about him to begin with."
Wu Fei was the one to pounce now. "Meaning that he isn't the man you... developed... feelings for? Can I hope that you've changed your mind about a possible... relationship?"
Duo threw up his hands and let out a gusting breath. "That's just it. I don't know. When he talks, he seems like the guy I know I can... well..." Duo blushed and ducked his head. "Maybe I'm figuring out what's what, too?"
"Infuriating," Wu Fei complained and stalked towards the door. "I suppose that I shall have to tell Une that she still doesn't have her top Preventer agents."
"Top?" Duo brightened, grinning. "Did you just call me one of your top agents?"
"One of them," Wu Fei tempered, not wanting to give Duo's ego fuel.
"Top," Duo repeated, still grinning, as he brought up files on his computer.
Wu Fei sighed in disgust.
Duo laughed a little, but then he was quickly frowning again, his mind not on his work but on his dilemma with Heero. Wu Fei was right. He couldn't let this go on when it was impacting their work so very much. They had all joined Preventers to make a difference. Letting personal issues impact Preventer operations was, in effect, helping the criminals.
Duo ran a hand down along his leg,kneading at a sore knee. As soon as he was cleared for duty, he would ask for an assignment. He would be off on a mission, risking himself again, probably. He couldn't be distracted by thoughts of what Heero intended to do.
"Damn him anyway," Duo grumbled. "He was criticizing my hobby first... yeah I called his useless, but..." Duo thought about his collection of motorcycles that couldn't even be ridden and snorted in derision. His hobby was by far more useless than Heero's. His singing at least gave people some entertainment.
Duo slumped in his chair, chin on fist, and stared sightlessly at his computer screen. Maybe he was the one that needed to make a decision? Maybe he needed to really find out who Heero was and if his attraction was real, or just a ghost of a crush from the war. His heart told him otherwise, but his head was in command, suddenly, taking Wu Fei's words seriously.
"It's cut the crap, time, Yuy," Duo muttered as he went online and looked for a list of clubs and their entertainment. "You've seen my private space. Maybe it's time that I saw yours. I need to see what you do for fun."