A request for a drabble continuation of my 1x2x5 story, Tight Rope.
We worked in perfection. Everyone marveled at our fluid teamwork, our uncanny
ability to read each other, to act as one as if we knew each other's minds
completely. If Une suspected that there was more than fellow agents working
well together, she never questioned it out loud. She, like many others, didn't
want our perfection marred by regulations and fellow agents who might not
understand.
My lovers seemed as determined as Une to keep our personal life, personal. At first, I was certain that it was out of deference to my higher sense of propriety, but I saw a nervousness in Heero whenever Duo happened to reach out a hand in public, and Duo seemed nervous if I leaned in a little too close to have a conversation.
"I'm not ashamed," I found myself saying as we moved through a grocery aisle. A mundane task:a sign of my new domesticity. Crack Preventer agents, ex gundam pilots, shopping, seemed more like a bizarre dream. That I would bring up personal issues, while looking for the rice that Heero favored, showed how much our relationship had peeled away my fine sense of propriety.
Duo looked at me, eyes a little wide, while I decided that basmati rice was something that I craved and Yuy would just have to deal with that week. I put it into our cart before Duo found something coherent to reply.
"I'm not either," Duo said, but his voice was low and his hands were jammed into his pockets, body language as tense as his voice."Maybe being gay isn't a big deal anymore, Fei, but what we have people call something else. It's an ugly word. I don't want anyone saying it about you, or Heero, okay? Besides, it's nobody's business."
"Oh," was my only other contribution to the conversation, as I thought of what that name might be and how that tag might impact our working life, as well as our personal one.
"You're gonna start a fight with Heero," Duo said as he picked up Heero's rice as well and added it to the cart. "Don't fight over rice, okay? We're not on that much of a budget."
"The man would eat nothing else but fish and rice, if you allow him, Duo," I complained, deciding to drop the more sensitive conversation until later. "I want to expand his eating horizons."
"He can't taste his food, remember, Fei?" Duo reminded him.
"But he enjoys the look and textures," I countered. "I can do many things to make his meals more appealing to him."
Duo grinned.
"What?" I demanded irritably.
"You're being sweet," Duo replied.
"Caring," I insisted.
Duo only snickered in reply.
The next aisle was harder to deal with. Duo said, casually, "I'll get them."
I didn't allow men to sacrifice themselves in my place, especially not when it was my duty they were trying to usurp. I firmly replied, "No, it is my turn, Maxwell."
"Maxwell," Duo echoed."You always call me that when you're upset. It's not hard for me. Why not let me do it?"
"Because you buy odd ones," I replied. It wasn't a complete ruse. Duo did tend to find himself attracted to novelty.
"Then let's wait for Heero and let him buy them," Duo suggested.
I grimaced. "I'd rather not suffer another round of his 'economy' choices," I replied.
Duo shuddered dramatically and laughed. "Me neither. Okay, then, I'll be over buying my hamburger. If I see an explosion, I'll know that you blew up from embarrassment."
"How you can eat that nauseating.." I began, but he waved away the rest of my comment and pushed the cart toward the meat department.
I sighed, mentally girded my loins, and went to buy our personal protection and lubrication. It was extremely embarrassing for me. As I stood and made my decisions, based on quality, not price or novelty, I felt as if every shopper was staring at me. I had been shopping with a man, the ramifications of that, and my newest purchases, would, I felt, be obvious to anyone. It opened my eyes to what Duo had been trying to tell me all along. While I wasn't ashamed, perception were hard to avoid. Our being gay might cause some people discomfort, but the belief that I, and my lovers, were being extremely promiscuous, had other consequences.
Returning to Duo, I found him finished with his task. I placed the items into our cart and said, "Mission accomplished."
Duo laughed. "Hope you didn't get badly injured by enemy fire?"
"Not a scratch," I replied with faked pride.
We checked out and, when Yuy didn't return from the fish market nearby, until we were loading our things into our vehicle, I had a new understanding as to why. It made me crave contact, a reaffirmation of our commitment to one another, a clear understanding that we may have to concede to circumstances and perceptions, but that it couldn't shake what we had together.
I leaned forward and reached over into the front seat. Both Heero and Duo took one of my hands. I squeezed them tightly, and Duo glanced back into the rear view mirror at me, a quick concerned glance that he dared as he drove.
"I'm all right," I assured him.
When we returned home, we left everything piled on kitchen counters, and began undressing each other as we moved into Heero's bedroom. It looked like a wrestling match: bending, twisting, and pulling at clothing as we snatched kisses and caresses. Falling as one onto the bed, Duo brandished the bag of 'supplies' and then emptied them on top of us.
As we opened their packaging and applied them, the words wanton, whorish, loose, and promiscuous rolled through my mind, as if I needed to try them on for size, as if I needed to test their validity. Wrong, I decided, all wrong. There was only one word for what we had together, one word that was true.
"Love," I said as I entered Duo and wrapped him in my arms, as Heero curled around us both and rained hot kisses on both of our faces.
"Love," Duo agreed after his gasp of pleasure.
"Always, love," Heero agreed, as he positioned himself and claimed me. It was my turn to gasp, this position a new thing. It made us even more complete, even more whole, and I felt the sting of tears that wasn't at all shameful. It was pure joy.
End