Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of them.
Warnings: Male/Male sex, graphic, language, violence,past NCS.
Shinigami's Lover III
Duty
"A blind old lady can drive faster, Wu Fei!" Duo snarled.
"Traffic," Wu Fei muttered in return.
"You should have sent a patrol vehicle!" Duo shouted and kicked the back of Wu Fei's seat.
Wu Fei slammed both hands on the steering wheel and glared back at Duo in the rear view mirror. "Duo Maxwell!" Wu Fei replied hotly. "If you do that again-!" He stopped himself from going further. His jaw worked for a moment and then he said in a low clipped tone, "I know that you are worried about Heero, but you know, and I know, that it is against regulations to dispense patrol vehicles for taxi services." When Duo opened his mouth to shout back he added, "It is an emergency to you, I know, but Heero is stable and in the care of the best doctors. The situation won't improve because you arrive a few minutes earlier."
Duo glared and then crossed his arms tightly over his chest and looked hard out of the car window. He felt alone. He hadn't taken Soda with him, thinking to avoid any delay trying to explain that the dog was both a service animal and a Preventer agent. Now he felt the lack of Soda's warm presence, wanting very much to hug something for comfort. "Tell me again what happened," he demanded.
"It was supposed to be routine," Wu Fei told him tensely, his dark eyebrows drawing down hard over his intense eyes as he relived what had happened. "We had gone to a witness's place of business to ask him a few, simple questions to wrap up an investigation. Unfortunately, we had entered the offices at a very bad moment. Money had been changing hands and plans had been displayed where we could easily see them. It had been immediately apparent to us that they had been dealing in illegal weapons."
"And at what point did Heero forget every bit of his training and get bashed in the head?" Duo demanded.
Wu Fei swallowed hard and then replied quietly, "We were pulling out our guns and shouting that they were under arrest. I moved forward to start strapping their wrists. I don't know why, but Heero took out his phone to call headquarters while he kept his gun on the occupants of the office. That's not..."
"Procedure," Duo finished angrily. "Why did he do that?"
"You won't be the only one asking him that, Maxwell," Wu Fei promised. "It was a very dangerous situation. He should have waited until I secured everyone before dividing his attention and making the call. I didn't know that anything was wrong until I heard the chair clattering to the floor. I turned and saw Heero sprawled next to it, blood going everywhere from a head wound, and one of the men lifting up his gun to fire at me. I killed him, easily, and then found myself in a small fire fight as the others took that opportunity to pull their weapons." Wu Fei looked pained and disgusted. "They gave up quickly enough after I started firing, but three men are now dead that shouldn't have been."
"Heero," Duo muttered and rubbed at his eyes.
"Ask him, " Wu Fei demanded. "Ask him why, Duo, and then tell
me, because I would very much like to know."
"Count on it," Duo promised, but his voice trembled. He had never
really feared for Heero before, the man's phenomenal skill always having given
the impression that he was invincible. Duo hadn't known, until just then, how
much he had needed to believe that fantasy.
Wu Fei dropped Duo off at the front of the hospital while he parked, knowing that Duo wouldn't want to wait. Duo threaded his way through a crowd going in and out of the doors and then found the main desk.
"What room is Heero Yuy in?" he asked anxiously.
The woman behind the desk gave him a long look. "Are you a relative?"
"I'm his 'domestic partner', " Duo told her. "I'm on file as having permission to make all medical decisions on his behalf."
"Name?"
"Duo Maxwell."
The woman seemed to take forever to look through her computer files, fingers tapping over the keys. Duo felt ready to explode.
"Retinal scan." The woman pointed up at a red light on the wall. Duo looked up and a laser beam stroked his right eye. The computer made a beeping noise. The woman typed a bit more and then, just before Duo lost what little patience he had and shoved her out of his way so that he could do it himself, she said, "Room 46b, second floor. Follow the yellow line." She looked up and found herself talking to empty air. Duo was already striding away, long braid swinging behind him.
Duo found the room, but two doctors were conferring over a chart and blocking his way. He tried to move around them , but one of them caught at his arm. "Sir? Are you the one with permission to make medical decisions for Agent Yuy?"
"Yes," Duo replied anxiously as he jerked his arm away and took a quick step back. "Are you his doctor? Is he all right?"
The doctor held the chart as if Duo could make sense out of it the cryptic lines and medical language, and replied in a soothing tone of voice, "He is stable for now, but we need to do some exploratory scans. When he regained consciousness, he seemed disoriented."
"Disoriented? Of course he's disoriented!" Duo snapped. "He was in the middle of a fire fight and he was hit over the head with a chair! I need to see him. I won't give you permission to do anything until I do."
The doctor ran a finger along the collar of his smock and his companion looked nervous. "It's not so simple, sir," he told Duo cautiously. "Agent Yuy is showing signs of amnesia and he is having trouble with the coordination of his right arm. I won't give a firm diagnosis until I've run scans, but I will tell you, so that you understand how serious his condition might be, that those are symptoms of brain and nerve damage."
Duo felt a hand squeeze around his heart. He was motionless, stunned, and then he was suddenly turning on his heel and walking quickly into Heero's room. Heero had a private room and the lights were dimmed. Duo went to Heero's bedside and reached out a hand to touch his lover's pale, bruised face.
Duo couldn't let Heero sleep. A soldier always assesses a situation as quickly as possible and, right then, the soldier part of Duo was stronger than the cringing part that wanted to let Heero sleep so that he could remain ignorant of Heero's true condition as long as possible.
"Heero, baby," Duo called "Can you wake up? I want to talk to you."
A frown creased Heero's forehead, but his eyes remained closed.
Duo leaned closer until his lips were right near Heero's ear. "Please wake up, Heero!"
Heero twitched and then groaned, one hand rising to touch his head. An I.V. trailed from that arm. Duo made sure that the line didn't tangle as he made Heero lower his arm again.
"Mission complete?" Heero wondered in the faintest of dry whispers.
Duo frowned, confused, and then understood with a sinking feeling in his stomach. "Not.. Not yet, Heero. I need you to wake up."
"Roger," Heero whispered and his eyes did open. He stared at the ceiling for a full minute and then seemed to become aware of Duo's presence with painful slowness. He turned his eyes to Duo and blinked at him. "Duo?"
Duo let out a relieved breath and smiled. "At least you know me, love."
Heero frowned and Duo saw him trying to piece things together in his memory. "Where am I?" he asked at last and Duo could see that he hated not knowing that, being unsure, being confused.
"The hospital, "Duo replied as he smoothed the blanket up around Heero and then brushed a stray strand of dark hair from Heero's face. "You were trying to arrest some bad guys and one of them hit you with a chair. The doctor," he had to pause to be sure his next words were steady, "The doctor said that he thinks that you had some brains scrambled. He wants to take some tests. Is that okay with you?"
Heero tried to think about that and failed. He winced and reached to touch his head again. "I don't want to stay here," he said finally.
Duo looked him over and forced a smile. "Well, I think the doctor is trying to be too careful by keeping you here, but you do look tired. Maybe you should rest really good before we try and move you back home?"
Heero made a small sound of annoyance and replied irritably, "People come and go. Can't sleep."
"The doctors, you mean?" Duo asked, but he could tell that Heero didn't know, that he had probably only registered them as annoying presences. "Well," Duo said, attempting to sound upbeat for Heero's sake, "I guess I should have brought Soda. He would have kept them out long enough for you to get some sleep."
Heero frowned, staring at Duo with a faintly cloudy expression. "Soda?"
Duo felt a chill. "Yeah, Soda.... My dog, Heero."
"Dog..." Heero echoed and it was clear that he didn't remember Soda at all.
"Just try and rest Heero," Duo urged, trying to convince himself that it was just reaction from the blow and exhaustion that was making Heero confused, not... No, he wasn't ready to think that, not at all.
Heero reached out and took hold of Duo's hand. "Stay here?" he asked plaintively.
Duo hadn't intended to leave anyway, but Heero's pleading tone had cemented his decision. "A pack of mobile suits couldn't drag me away," he promised.
Heero struggled to think about something and then asked, "Is Wu Fei all right?"
"Yes, he's fine," Duo assured him. "He drove me here."
Heero looked relieved and then his eye lids drooped.
"Sleep some more, Heero," Duo urged and brushed fingers along his cheek. "I'll keep watch."
"Set perimeter alarms, baka," Heero sighed. "You always forget." and then he was asleep.
"Duo?" Wu Fei said from the doorway and Duo wondered how long the man had been standing there. Long enough. Wu Fei looked at Duo's pained expression, at the tightness around Duo's mouth that told him that Duo was trying very hard to stay in denial. Wu Fei spoke the words for him out loud, the words that needed to be said and the facts that had to be faced. "Something is wrong with Heero."
"This shouldn't have happened!" Duo whispered harshly in anguish. "If he knows, if he understands... if he can't work any more for the Preventers. It'll kill him!"
Wu Fei grunted. "I wouldn't have thought that his job would be the first thing to come to mind when considering difficulties. If this is more than just confusion, then you will have to decide how to deal with it."
Duo frowned sharply. "I have a pension from the war. It's not much... Quatre will help out with what ever I can't afford. I know that for a fact. I can take care of Heero if I have to."
"Quit your job?" Wu Fei looked disapproving. "After going through so much to become an agent?"
Duo shrugged as if it didn't matter to him, but it was obvious the thought caused him pain. "I'll do what ever I have to for Heero."
"Maybe Heero won't want that."
Duo glared at Wu Fei and then turned away to look at Heero. "Do you really think that matters if he's... confused about what year it is and whether he's in a war or not? The government is always eager to lock up undesirables. I can't let that happen because I put my wants over Heero's needs."
Duo smoothed Heero's wild bangs with a gentle hand. Wu Fei watched him and then sighed as he turned away. "If you need me. Call. When the scans are carried out, and the doctor can give a true diagnosis, I would like to know the results." He paused at the door and then glanced back at Duo. "You have only to call me and I will come, Duo."
"Thanks," Duo replied and his voice wasn't steady.
Wu Fei nodded, once, and then was gone.
Duo leaned, kissed Heero's cheek, and then he went to sit in the one chair. It was cushioned and comfortable with a small table and a vid phone next to it. Duo opened the line and entered Quatre's number. Not only did he need to bring Quatre and Trowa up to speed on Hero's condition, but he also knew that he was going to need Quatre's financial assistance as well. If Heero was going to get treatment and tests, he was going to get the best, Duo thought determinedly, and he wasn't going to let his pride get in the way of that.
What would it be like, Duo thought, to take care of and live with a confused Heero Yuy, a man who had been trained to kill in hundreds of efficient ways? A man who had been trained his entire youth to inflict violence? With all of his mental faculties in tact, Heero still suffered from nightmares on occasion, still fell into dark moods where memory was too sharp, still reacted sometimes with the hair trigger reflexes of a soldier, and sometimes, though not many, he reacted negatively to any intimacy, even something as simple as a touch on the shoulder. Heero was a man under intense control, a man who needed to be alert and aware of himself. If that control was gone, or even hampered, Duo could imagine the consequences, none of them good.
Duo recalled his own break from sanity, the day the war had ended, the day that he had panicked and decided that someone like him, a killer with severe mental instability, didn't have a place in a new, peaceful society.
Duo stroked the scar on his face with his thumb. That bullet had come so very close to ending his life. Duo hadn't though that there was any hope for someone like him, hadn't even entertained the belief that a year of therapy could give him the tools and the control that he needed to live an almost normal life. That belief had made him attempt suicide. Now that he knew better, it was foolish to think that Heero couldn't be helped somehow, too, that he couldn't find his own miracle. Quatre was fond of saying, 'A will makes a way.' Duo had to believe in that. Duo's own will had carried him far and Heero was so much stronger than he was.
Duo went through the many layers of secretaries to reach Quatre. Quatre, when he appeared, look disheveled in a gray business suit. His face was flushed and he was straightening his tie nervously as he said, "Duo, is that you? Is everything all right?"
Duo checked his watch and allowed for the difference in time. The way Quatre was sitting in front of the vid screen, half turned in his seat, told Duo that he wasn't alone. "Having a long lunch with Trowa?" Duo guessed. He smiled faintly at his own joke, but really couldn't rise to the humor of it even when Quatre's nervousness and red color increased.
"Ah, Duo..." Quatre began, but Trowa's voice came from off screen.
"This isn't a school yard, Maxwell," Trowa drawled, "So please do not tease Quatre."
Duo's smile dropped. "I... I have some bad news, actually. Heero... Heero was injured during a case."
Quatre's red color turned to white. His hand rubbed at his chest. "I felt uneasy all day; a pressure. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't..." He looked guilty.
"It's all right, Quatre," Duo said even as he felt a tinge of jealousy, as ridiculous as it seemed, because they had obviously been carefree and enjoying themselves while he had to face.. Duo cut that off. He couldn't start falling apart and sinking into depression already. Heero needed him. "He needs scans, treatment," Duo said. "He has insurance with the Preventer's, but it won't get him anything but the basics."
"Have the bills sent to me," Quatre informed him, losing his embarrassment and taking charge in that gentle way that Duo remembered from the war. "I will take care of anything that you need."
"Yet money isn't the cure for everything," Trowa cut in and he was suddenly in the view of the vid phone, leaning in and looking at Duo very seriously as he buttoned his shirt. "You will need assistance without Heero there to care for you."
Duo bristled and he felt a slow burn start up from his neck and wash over his cheeks. "I'm not-" he began, but Quatre was there to step in and take the sting out of Trowa's words.
"He only means that you have a habit of not taking care of yourself, Duo," Quatre explained. "Someone should be there to make sure that your household runs smoothly, things are cleaned, meals are made, and your dogs taken care of, so that you can concentrate on caring for Heero until he recovers."
Duo rubbed at his eyes. "I don't know. I guess you're right, but... until I know how bad off Heero is, I can think about anything else."
"Should we come there and see to things?" Quatre asked and Duo knew that he would drop everything to come and help him.
Duo wanted to say , yes. He did feel overwhelmed and he wasn't sure that he could handle what was happening to Heero, let alone anything else in his life. It was an intense temptation to lean on Quatre, to let him come and take care of everything. Duo shook his head, no, though, surprising himself.
"I have a maid," Duo told Quatre. "I can employ him full time for awhile and I can take advantage of a very good neighbor who likes taking care of the dogs."
Quatre frowned. He knew Duo well and he was a good judge of men. Duo could tell that he had doubts. "If you think that is best," Quatre replied, but then added earnestly, "but, if things get difficult and you do need help, please call Duo. Nothing is more important to me than my friends."
Duo felt as if Quatre had put a supporting hand under him and was now keeping him from falling. He could try it his way, he thought, but Quatre was there to catch him if it didn't work out; a human safety net.
They made small talk, but there wasn't much to say. Duo was too concerned about Heero to carry a conversation about anything else and he didn't have any information to give Trowa and Quatre about Heero's condition. He was in the dark, flying blind, and hoping that there weren't any mountains to smash into. He ended the call at last because of that feeling. It was hard enough to deal with it without having to reassure other people that everything was all right, especially when it wasn't.
Heero stirred. Duo was out of his chair instantly and going to his side. Heero was frowning, he saw, and his hands were clenching in a way that Duo knew well. Heero was operating his Gundam in his sleep.
"Area secured," Duo said in Heero's ear. "Mission completed."
"Hn," Heero mumbled. "What are you talking about, Duo? Are you dreaming?" Heero said sleepily. "Mmmmneh, head hurts. Aspirin."
He wasn't really awake, Duo saw, but in some place inbetween. He almost allowed himself to hope, but then he squashed it. A soldier expected worse case scenarios and didn't operate on wishful thinking. He refused to get on the roller coaster of hope and disappointment.
Heero drifted back into deeper sleep. Duo tucked the blankets up around him and then went to sit down in the chair, taking up his lonely vigil once more.