Diversion #12: Driving Lessons
"Are you sure I can do this?"
"Of course; I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't think you could do it."
"I don't want to hurt it..."
"You won't hurt it, Duo."
"It's so shiny and pretty..."
"And it's fully insured."
"It feels weird to be sitting on this side."
"That seat always feels weird to me; Japan drives on the left."
"Really? I didn't know that. The cars are all the same, though..."
"The cars built for export are built for whatever country they're going to. And a lot of them are built here, anyway."
"Wow... Heero...? Um... I'm a little scared."
"That's why I'm here."
"Okay... Why are there three pedals?"
"It's a manual shift; that's the clutch."
"The... clutch? Oh..."
"Angel? You okay?"
"I just... Are you sure you want to teach me on *your* car?"
"Duo, it's a good car; I enjoy driving it, but I'm not in love with the damned thing. I *am* in love with you. Baby, you can drive my car."
"Okay... Where does the key go?"
"Right here. It's in gear, so you have to depress the clutch before you- Whoa!"
"What'd I do? What'd I do?!"
"It's all right! It's in gear, that's all. Put your foot on the clutch and press it down. Now turn the key. There you go..."
"...wow..."
"...hm...?"
"It sounds... so... Goddess, I don't even know how to describe it..."
"What is it, angel?"
"The sound... I mean, I know it always sounds like this, it's just... I guess I never noticed how deep it is... How... Oh, you're going to laugh at me!"
"I never laugh at you, only with you; you know that."
"Okay... It sounds so... so... masculine."
"Mmm... I believe the correct term is 'butch'."
"Oh, yeah... Very butch."
"Nearly 500 horsepower, babe; very damn butch."
"And why do you have such a butch car, Heero? Isn't that overkill, or something?"
"I just happen to like this car."
"I'll bet... Are you sure you want me to try this? I don't want to strip the gears or burn out the clutch or whatever."
"Duo, it's a mechanical object. Anything that goes wrong can be fixed or replaced. You should know how to drive, even if you perfect your teleportation. I fly, but still I have this car."
"I always kinda wanted to learn to drive... I never stayed in one place long enough to learn though."
"Always add to your skills, baby; you never know what might come in handy one day, Magical or Mundane."
"Oh yeah! (giggle) Can you teach me to hot-wire an engine?"
"See Trowa for that, angel."
"You're kidding!"
"Not at all; he's quite mechanical. He even works on those tractors that haul the furniture vans."
"But... I thought those were Magical..."
"Mmm... The engines are Mundane; not every Were has the Magick to maintain the Magical engines, so they decided it was more practical to use Mundane engines with Magical enhancements."
"Wow... So, is this car Magick or Mundane or a combination?"
"Strictly Mundane. It goes to a mechanic in River Ford every three months for a check up. Now, I do believe you're stalling."
"Um... Yeah..."
"Here; release the hand brake. Put your foot on the brake pedal. Now, you're going to shift into reverse. Put your hand here; I'll show you."
"Okay... You know... this is kinda like... I mean, it's sort of... Well... The shift... knob... Heero...?"
"Yes, angel-mine?"
"This is... um... Does this seem kind of erotic to you, or is it just my dirty mind?"
"Mmm... Why do you suppose I have *this* car?"
"Heero, you dirty Dragon!"
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