Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of them.
Warnings: Male/male sex, graphic, language, violence
They sat across the small table from each other and quietly ate their reheated lasagna. Milliardo felt subdued, sated, content, but he could feel a nervousness in Duo and he knew that he had to reassure him.
"Sore?" It seemed obvious. Duo was sitting gingerly, shifting uncomfortably in his chair more than once.
Duo blushed, but smiled ruefully. "It was worth it." He wiped at his mouth with a napkin and then asked cautiously, "Was it okay for you? I know I'm not... well, I was kind of nervous, sorry."
Milliardo pushed away the rest of his meal and looked at Duo's red face squarely. "It was the most exhilarating and fulfilling experience of my life," he said without reservation.
Duo started, swallowed hard, and then asked in a small voice, "Really? I... you know, it was for me too, Mil." He rubbed at the back of his neck and then rose and moved his chair next to Milliardo's. Sitting down again, he swung his legs so that they were resting over Milliardo's. Half sitting in his chair and half sitting in Milliardo's lap, Duo reached out for him and gripped the front of Milliardo's shirt. "I wanted to be with you right when I first saw you," he admitted. He chewed over something and then laughed. He looked up and his eyes were shinning, even though his face betrayed his uncertainty. "I guess I need to ask, ‘Will you still respect me in the morning?' Stupid, right?"
Milliardo shook his head and his pale hair cascaded all around Duo. "No, it's not stupid," he replied softly and smoothed a hand along Duo's cheek. He kissed Duo tenderly and then met his eyes as he said, "This is not a one time affair. I can't tell you that I know where it will proceed from this point, but I assure you..." Milliardo leaned forward and nuzzled Duo's neck. Duo tilted his chin to give him more access and the vulnerable, trusting pose, made Milliardo want him again, "this is about far more than sexual gratification."
"You were... gratified, then?" Duo asked, his male pride needing to know.
Milliardo chuckled. "Can't you feel how much I want to be with you again? You were amazing!"
"Amazing?" Duo grinned as he rubbed his thigh across Milliardo's erection through his pants. "So were you. I just... well, you have to know that I don't let just anybody do that with me. It's kind of real personal."
"You don't have to tell me that," Milliardo chuckled. "You were very... tight."
Duo blushed again and Milliardo found himself doing the same. It seemed ridiculous. They were grown men and neither of them were virgins. He knew, though, where their embarrassment was stemming from. They were virgins in a sense, virgins when it came to being in love. In that area, their inexperience was making them awkward. This wasn't having sex for release and then going about their separate ways. They had to stay and have a relationship, talk about it, and understand each other's feelings. There was also their past to hash over. Milliardo knew that they couldn't go forward unless they both knew the field they were playing on intimately.
"You've done that with Heero?" Milliardo asked.
Duo was uncomfortable and Milliardo could sense his fear about answering. For a moment, Milliardo was afraid that Duo was going to lie to him, despite Duo's assurance that he never lied. Milliardo left off nuzzling Duo's neck and leaned back to see his face. Duo was looking very tense, eyes on a point behind his shoulder as he finally replied, "Yes, does that bother you? I mean, we were hormone crazed teens and we needed that kind of release. Heero wasn't gay, and he really didn't like too, but a warm body is a warm body, ya know? After the war... once or twice, maybe, but mostly not... we just... well, you get it, right? Once we decided friends was good enough, we stopped doing even that."
"Anyone after that?" Milliardo wondered and Duo looked surprised that he was being so calm and dismissive of it.
Duo relaxed a bit, but not completely, as if, dodging one bullet, he was facing another, but less dangerous one. "I'm not proud of it," he replied in a small voice.
"Casual meetings with strangers?" Milliardo asked with a frown.
Duo scowled. "No! Well, sort of, I guess. They were people that I had worked with," he admitted. "I didn't let it go THAT far with them, though."
"So, Heero was the only one besides myself?" Milliardo affirmed.
"That bother you?" Duo wondered. His hands locked behind Milliardo's neck and he moved all the way into Milliardo's lap.
"Any man would like to be the only one, Duo, but we are MEN. It's to be expected that you would be somewhat experienced at your age," Milliardo reassured him.
"But does it bother you that it was Heero I was with?" Duo pressed and he looked into Milliardo's eyes intently. "What I mean is, are you going to get in Heero's face every time you see him because you can't stand the thought of him having been with me? Cuz' he's NOT going away, Mil. Heero is going to be around, a lot, and you are going to have to deal with it."
Milliardo replied, "I can't say that it doesn't bother me. I'm only human, Duo. " He caressed Duo's arm and let his fingers trail down to Duo's hip. He gripped him there lightly. "Heero and I were in intense competition during the war. It's only normal that I feel-"
"He's NOT competition," Duo assured him, "Or do you think you can make a straight man gay?"
"If he were gay, would you be sitting on my lap now?" Milliardo asked, point blank.
Duo blinked, caught off guard, but he didn't look defensive, instead, he looked fierce as he stood up a little to press his forehead against Milliardo's. "Even if Heero had been gay, we still wouldn't be together, Mil. What we had, it was NOTHING like this. I love him... like a brother, but this... This feeling I have for you is like being on fire, being hit by lightning, being wrapped up in everything good in the world. Heero and me knew that we didn't have that when we broke off a sexual relationship. We knew there was a piece missing."
Milliardo enfolded Duo into his arms and held him against his heart. "I understand," he said, feeling intense emotions welling up. Yes, he thought, that was the way he felt too, as if he were holding everything good in the world in his arms. It was a powerful, overwhelming feeling and Duo had expressed it so eloquently when he, Milliardo, hadn't been able to find the words.
"So," Duo said against his chest. "What about you? It's your turn to talk about your past lovers. Do I have any competition?"
"None," Milliardo assured him. "None at all."
"And you were a virgin?" Duo asked with a teasing laugh.
Milliardo went very quiet as he considered his past, discarding the few and far between affairs, and his thoughts settled on the one man that had meant the most to him.
"Who was he?" Duo asked seriously.
So perceptive, Milliardo thought and sighed the name, "Treize."
"Ah," Duo said thoughtfully and then simply, "Sorry."
"He trained me to be everything that I am," Milliardo told him with a sigh. "He gave me a place when I didn't have anywhere to call home. I can't ever forget that. His memory will always have an honored place."
Duo nodded. "I guess I feel the same way about Dr. G. He gave me my chance to be something besides a thief. He trained me and gave me a purpose in life. He gave me a chance to get my revenge, too. We weren't lovers, but, I guess he was a father figure... well, a demented father figure, but still... so, I understand about having a special place for someone. I can live with that."
Milliardo ran hands gently along Duo's arm, feeling their strength. "We both have experience, but, I think we both have something to learn about a relationship like this one. We are from completely different backgrounds, we were on opposite sides of a war, we are of vastly different ranks, and I have very complicated obligations. You realize that it is going to be far from easy from this point forward?"
"You're champagne in a crystal goblet and I'm soda out of a can," Duo laughed, "But I think that's a good thing. Makes life interesting. You wouldn't want me to be one of those pale, flighty, over bred, ex nobles, without a thought in my head except whether I'm wearing the latest fashion? I hope not, because I'm not even going to try for that."
Milliardo chuckled. "No, I wouldn't want you to be different." He frowned and asked, "Does it bother you that I'm..." There wasn't a good way to say it.
Duo smiled and understood. "I like all of that perfect correctness and your sense of duty." Duo ran fingers along Milliardo's shoulders. "I like those uniforms too... you look very... uhm... sexy in them."
"Ah!" Milliardo retorted with false anger. "You're are enamored of my coats and not me. Perhaps I should direct you to a good tailor?"
"Ha, ha," Duo snickered. "I think I like the man in the coats more." He shifted uncomfortably and then slid off of Milliardo's lap with a wince. He rubbed a hand along his hip. "Damn! I think I've been rubbed raw, Mil! We need a lot more foreplay next time."
Milliardo grew suddenly serious. "Have I earned a next time?"
Duo turned and looked at him, surprised, and then countered with, "Have I?"
Milliardo stood and cupped Duo's chin. He leaned in and tasted Duo's lips and then delved into his mouth with a hot tongue. Duo was passive, allowing it, his striking, amethyst eyes closed. Milliardo broke the kiss and said in a whisper, "If you weren't hurting, I would have you again right now."
Duo let out a warm breath of relief, and then said huskily, "There's other ways of having fun, Missionary Man," but then he blinked open his eyes and smiled up at Milliardo, adding regretfully, "but we don't have time. My roommate can't be left on the mat forever, you know."
"Perhaps," Milliardo suggested as he slid hands to the small of Duo's back and then pulled him close, lifting him against his needy stiffness, "We can go to my home next time?"
That idea seemed to make Duo nervous, but he replied, "Okay. You just say when." His pelvis did a very small rubbing motion, teasing Milliardo, stirring up a need he wasn't going to fulfill.
Milliardo quirked a pale eyebrow at Duo. "You are certain that we don't have enough time?" He took Duo's hand and laid it against his erection. He could feel the heat of that touch even through his pants.
"No, sorry about that," Duo replied and it almost made Milliardo angry. He almost questioned that assertion, almost demanded hotly that Duo NOT tease and take care of what he had stirred up.
Milliardo dropped Duo's hand and stepped back, releasing him. He forced a smile and adjusted his pants. "All right. I can wait."
"You sure?" Duo asked and his lips twitched.
Milliardo took a steadying breath, willing his need to calm down. The last thing that he wanted to do was to overwhelm or pressure Duo. "Yes, I'm sure."
Duo stared at him for a long moment and then, very slowly, he lowered himself to his knees in front of Milliardo. He looked up as his hands pulled down the zipper of Milliardo's pants. As Milliardo felt a hot flush of confusion and desire shoot through his body, Duo said, "Well, you passed that test."
"Test?" Milliardo breathed as Duo took out his erection and smoothed a hand down it's swollen, hard length.
"If you had just wanted one thing from me, you would have gotten pretty mad just then," Duo told him. "You might have tried to convince me, argued with me, even tried to force me... You didn't though. I guess... I guess this is for real, huh?"
Milliardo smiled softly as he reached down and caressed Duo's cheek. "Yes, it is, Dear One."
Duo grinned. "Hey! A pet name! What do I call you, hm? Blondie? Snowy? Stretch?" Duo teased as he looked up the long length of Milliardo's body. His eyes dropped down to the impressive erection twitching in his hand, "Maybe..."
"Don't say it!" Milliardo warned and Duo laughed. "I like Mil," Milliardo told him firmly. "Stick with that, all right?"
"Okay." Duo squeezed the tip of Milliardo's erection and Milliardo gasped and leaned back against the table. "You want be to do something with all of this, Mil?"
"Yes," Milliardo hissed.
Duo looked suddenly very sensual as he went on all fours. "Tell me," he urged huskily. "Tell me what to do, sir."
Milliardo wasn't crude. The words didn't want to come. Duo's eyes dared him. Milliardo braced his nerve and ordered sharply in a commanding voice, "Suck it, soldier."
Duo's eyes glowed. "Yes, sir," he replied dutifully and then his hot, tight, moist mouth took Milliardo in deeply. It didn't take long. The image of Duo on hands and knee's, his swollen length going in and out of his sweet mouth, and Duo's intense look of concentration, enjoyment, desire, and, yes, a glowing affection for him that couldn't be mistaken, combined to make Milliardo come in an earth shattering orgasm, his hot fluids spurting violently. Duo suddenly suckled hard and deep, taking in every drop and milking Milliardo dry. Milliardo saw him swallow convulsively, eyes half shut in concentration. When there wasn't a drop left, Duo let Milliardo's erection slide out of his mouth. He smiled up at Milliardo. "Was that okay?" Duo asked.
Milliardo fell to his knees and gathered Duo into his embrace. He buried his face into Duo's soft, cinnamon hair and managed to say, "God!"
"That means yes, I guess," Duo laughed against his chest. They rested like that for a few minutes, enjoying each other's closeness and warmth, and then Duo emerged abruptly and stood up, leaving Milliardo kneeling on the floor. He grinned and reached down to help Milliardo to his feet. "I was serious about not leaving Heero out there in the cold. We better wrap up the date and let him back in. I'll put some lasagna in a container and you can take it home and eat it there."
"All right," Milliardo replied as he zipped up his pants and tried to put himself in order. As he watched Duo wink at him, gather up the dishes, and then go into the kitchen, Milliardo suddenly felt a flush of embarrassment. He prided himself on being under control. That last orgasm had been wrenched from him by Duo. Milliardo hadn't been able to have control over the situation or himself at all. He had been afraid of overwhelming Duo, but Duo had managed to overwhelm him instead. Milliardo wasn't sure that he wanted that to happen again. There was something raunchy about it and he wasn't the kind of man, ultimately, to find that enjoyable. Though he had enjoyed brief sexual encounters, non of them had strayed into the territory that Duo had just taken him in. It had all taken place discretely and simply.
As dishes clinked and Milliardo heard Duo putting lasagna into a container, he tried to analyze why he felt that it was so wrong to have sex in that manner. He divined, in the end, that having Duo in that position, made him feel that he was failing to show respect for Duo, and that there was also a potential to taint their budding relationship by turning it into just what Duo had feared, sex and nothing more. Duo had tested him and seemed content by the result, but Milliardo knew that he could fail that test at a later date if Duo persisted in battering down his inhibitions by offering him such unbridled passions. Tenderness, caring, and, yes, love could be left by the wayside in their eagerness to indulge their passions.
Milliardo determined to put a bridle on lust, especially when Duo reappeared out of the kitchen with his wrapped burden and his shirt slipping off of one rounded shoulder. His hair was escaping his braid in wisps, his eyes were sparkling, and his expression was sated and happy. It was a completely open and vulnerable moment and Milliardo felt a tremendous urge to take hold of Duo and plunder him completely.
Milliardo used his strict military training to deny himself as he took his package from Duo and said a polite, "Thank you."
"Mil," Duo began, suddenly worried by Milliardo's new reserve.
Milliardo's cell phone took that moment to ring. Milliardo took it from his pocket and put it to his ear. "Milliardo here." A man on the other end rattled off the situation to him in good form. "Specifics?" Milliardo demanded. The man ran down a list. "Call the men in."
Milliardo hung up the phone and put the container on the table. "Freeze that," he ordered briskly, becoming the commander now. "There's a situation. I'll need you and Yuy for this. Call him and be at Preventer Headquarters in one hour." He looked at his watch and Duo snagged his off of a table. "Mark," Milliardo said and Duo nodded, noting the time.
"We'll be there, sir," Duo said, in all seriousness. Duty called and they both understood that they wouldn't be lovers again until the ‘situation' was resolved.
Milliardo reached out and cupped Duo's chin. He smiled briefly and then let it go as he turned quickly and swept out the door.