Crashing Down

Chapter 1

by Kracken

1x2, 3x4

Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of them.
Warning:Male/male sex, graphic, language, violence, abuse.

"We have nothing in common," Heero growled as he shoved hard to get the last lock down into place on his jump ship protective plating over its more delicate instrumentation. The tech was revving the engines, dusting up the tarmac and generating a mind numbing heat from the engine exhaust ports. Heero was mentally ticking off the fuel levels with each rev and getting angrier at the tech by the millisecond. How long did it take the man to get it right?

Shouting loudly to be heard over the engine test, Commander Une, bangs flying in the dustup and hand on her military cap to keep it from flying away, ordered him, "Planning room, level four! One hour, Yuy!"

He glared at her, shaking out a hand with several quick jerks to get the fingers joints to loosen up. Fuck getting older that made old injuries ache and joints, that had seen four times the wear and tear of a normal man, begin to fail him. Fuck rules and regulations. Fuck partners. Fuck the tech who couldn't get a damn fuel to engine ration properly balanced.

"Shut it down!" Heero finally shouted as he grabbed a handhold and swung into the ships open hatch. "I said, shut it down, you god damned moronic-"

The engines shut down and an apologetic tech leaned in the pilots chair so that he could look down the short bay at Heero. "Sorry, sir, but the whole array needs to be replaced. It won't balance because it can't get proper readings."

That meant downtime for the ship and a wall ripped out to reach the array. Fuck stupid techs who didn't see the necessity in putting in a hatch for something like that. Not that they would have envisioned their jump ship taking a hit in an ariel firefight that had required Heero to dive between two jutting rock ledges at mach one. He hadn't quite made it.

Fuck getting old! Heero thought again as he slung himself out of the ship again. He wouldn't have missed that maneuver during the war. Ten years shouldn't have made that much difference. The engines shut down, sending a puff of heat up his backside as he watched Commander Une's correct posture and tight backside striding off the tarmac and into the engineering hanger.

"Looks like you sure pissed her off," the tech said as he climbed down beside Yuy and started making notes on a computer floppy. "She only leaves headquarters when she's personally going to execute someone."

"What do you know about Duo Maxwell?" Heero asked bluntly, ignoring the man's comment.

"Maxwell?" the man grunted as he made the mental shift and then shrugged. "Likes deep infiltration cases, ex Oz trying to revive the old days, especially. People say he has a personal vendetta against them and can't give it up even after the war. Total nut job."

"Has he ever had a partner?"

"No. Like's it solo, just like you, sir."

Heero frowned. What was Une up to? Fuck officials! Heero thought angrily and slapped a hand backwards into the tech's chest, making him grunt. "Get my ship fixed."

"That's my job, sir." the tech retorted and then thought better of getting angry at a man of Heero's caliber. "You'll be ready for jump in 48."

Two days, Heero thought in disgust as he stalked away. He truly missed the old days when he didn't have to have ships inspected by pencil pushers and staffed with a maintenance crew.

Maybe the others had been right to give it up completely and pursue more peaceful occupations, Heero thought, but only briefly. He couldn't honestly see himself as a pencil pusher or a tech deep in the bowels of some corporation. He was a total adrenaline junkie and would probably be that way for life. Riding the edge of oblivion never ceased to make him feel truly alive.

Maxwell had felt the same way, apparently, but they had taken on different careers. Heero loved being a pilot. Duo, it seemed, was all about cloak and dagger. In ten years, their paths hadn't managed to cross. Why now? What was Une up to?

Heero entered the engineering hanger and entered his data into the nearest terminal cantilevered off of the bay walls. The keys were covered in engine grease and dirt. The place smelled like oil, ozonated metal, and baking asphalt from the sun drenched tarmac. The mechanic nearest to Heero ,gave him a nervous, shy look before returning to his work. Even after ten years, Heero had still managed to keep his status of 'the best of the best'. The awe and worship Heero could ignore as long as the damned men did their jobs correctly.

Heero shook his aching fingers out again, as they cramped on the keyboard. He stared at them, briefly, at white knuckles that were clear indicators of joint problems, before muttering, "Fuck!" under his breath and stalking out of the hanger towards headquarters proper.

One knee twinged harshly as Heero turned into a corridor. Another bad joint that was prone to make him stumble, once in awhile. Embarrassing, weak, and something that made him glad that he had chosen to remain a pilot. His body could manage a control yolk, still, and button pushing. He wasn't sure what he would do if that became untrue, but he could feel a dark depression even brushing the edges of the very idea.

Duo Maxwell. Heero's mind shifted back to a problem that didn't require him to think of a grounded ship and a body that was doing its best to betray him. He had received the notices for meeting, already, by nervous messengers of every rank. Heero had ignored them all, especially when one had admitted that Une was considering making Maxwell his partner. Aside from dropping the man in the vicinity of a mission, Heero couldn't see any practical use for a combination of their talents. He could only assume, then that plans were in the works to shift his primary position for one more suited to a partnership with Maxwell.

That insinuated that Heero had been less than satisfactory in his performance or that someone had noticed his joint problems. He certainly hadn't informed anyone of his growing problems in that area, and he couldn't believe that even his last mission had been unacceptable in any way. Even damaged he had managed to get civilians out of a fire fight and get them to safety with his tail on fire and one engine malfunctioning.

Une wasn't someone that Heero could ignore, especially when she felt the need to confront him face to face. That meant that she had taken a very personally interest in whatever plan was in the works that involved Heero and Maxwell. She could make him an ex pilot with one tap of her finger on a keyboard and Heero was under no illusion about his prospects for ever getting into a cockpit, after that. Word would go out and she would make certain that he was blacklisted. Heero didn't want to resort to mercenaries or backwater police forces who didn't care about his record. heero was the best, he thought, and he wanted to work for the best.

Heero was the first to arrive in the planning room. It held only utilitarian white plastic chairs and a long table, that were scuffed and abused from years of arguing officials, crews, and agents. As he sat down, he unzipped his khaki jumpsuit down to his waist, to dry the sweat on his lighter khaki undershirt. Pulling out his palm computer, he played a calming game of Pong. When a thumb cramped, after a few minutes, he dropped the computer on the table with a rattle and shook it with a muttered, "Fuck!"

"Finally show up, huh?" Duo was standing out of reach from Heero, but relaxed, hands in uniform pockets. He looked as if he had been standing there a long time, watching him.

Heero calmed his racing heart, muscles twitching as he kept them from reacting in a deadly fashion.

There was a white scar over his nose and across one cheek, Heero noticed, and a steel in his purple eyes that he didn't recall from the war. There was also a hard set to his wide lips, even though they were smiling, as if he was forcing them to stretch and take on the shape of someone who was amused. He still had his ridiculous braid, but, noticing that, Heero spotted a large burn scar at the back of Duo's neck. It was in stripes and looked raw, red, and new.

"I have more. If you want me to undress so that you can see them...?" Duo said in a tight way that dared Heero to comment.

Heero scowled and went back to his pong game. Une was the one that he needed to speak to, not Duo Maxwell.

"Ten years and that's it?" Duo wondered, sounding hurt. He slumped sideways into a chair and drummed broad fingered hands on the tabletop. "Still as focused on your shit as ever, Yuy."

"My shit is important," Heero replied and then pursed his lips together, determined not to let Maxwell tease him into conversation.

"You filled out," Duo commented, eyeing him up and down. "Looks good on you. You still have that crazy-assed lock downed personality, though."

"Works for me," Heero retorted and then seethed as he realized that Duo was just as good as he had been during the war into getting him to talk.

Duo didn't look any different. Maybe his face was sharper and more worn, but it hadn't matured into more adult masculine lines. Like an elf, Heero thought as he won another pong game, a manic, bomb making, undercover, infiltration, killer elf. Someone else had said that. Heero searched his memory and realized that it had been Trowa. It bothered Heero that he was mentally parroting the past. Arthritis and now senility?

Une came into the room, heels clicking on the industrial cement floor. No frills for an outfit like theirs. Everything was functional and practical.

"I was expecting to find an empty room.... again," Une commented as she put down a floppy between Maxwell and Yuy. "These are your orders. Read them. Accept them or decline them. Declining them will get you ejected from Preventers and anywhere else you try to apply your talents."

Duo blinked as he pulled the floppy towards him and looked it over. "I always like having a choice, ma'am."

"I'll expect you on the training grounds tomorrow.... early," Une replied and her heels clicked as she walked out of the room and down the hallway.

Heero pulled the floppy from Duo's hand, cutting his fingers slightly on its sharp edges. As Duo hissed and sucked on a shallow cut, Heero read the floppy over.

"Fuck this!" Heero exploded after only a few lines.

"I am gay, so that's really not a phrase that you want to use unless you mean it, Yuy," Duo said seriously as he stood up. "See you in training tomorrow, bright and early."

"You're accepting this?" Heero exclaimed in astonishment.

"You're not?" Duo wondered with a raised eyebrow. He smirked as he turned and waved a hand at Heero, "Hope you like flipping burgers, then, because that bitch will make sure that's all you'll get."

Heero watched him go, braid swinging, feeling as if he didn't know Maxwell at all. Why would the man agree to freeze his career to train raw recruits for six months? How could Une take them out of the field and risk future missions and lives? How could he, Heero agree to it? It was madness and a complete waste of resources.

He was going to file a formal protest, Heero decided. He would go along with Une's farce, until her superiors in the government brought a halt to her, obviously, unbalanced decision.

------------------------------------------

"Watch him?" Heero glared up at Une. He was standing, stiffly, his bad knee hating that he had it locked at attention. It wasn't a position that he had taken out of respect, though. Une was tall and intimidating in heels. Heero had never reached a height that had made him comfortable in his own skin when it came to confrontations. Taking her his acceptance of her mission, while informing her that he was going over her head in protest, wasn't something that he had wanted to do on uneven ground. She had, damn her, stood up from her desk and walked around to stand over him, as if she knew, and relished his discomfort.

"It's possible that Maxwell has been compromised," Une informed him."This downtime will allow you to observe him and report any unusual behavior."

Heero grunted and glared angrily, "I don't have time for games. You should have told me from the beginning that I wasn't really assigned to train recruits."

"But you are," Une replied and seemed to get even taller, somehow as she tilted her head in a commanding, arrogant fashion. "I have highly skilled men and women who are having difficulties with the physical aspects of being a field agent."

"Desk geeks," Heero translated in disgust.

"Highly talented individuals who need special guidance from seasoned veterans," Une corrected him with precise tones.

Une's desk was surrounded by glass walls. At the heart of Preventers, she could see what everyone in the outer room was doing. Preventer agents hurried about their tasks as if spurred on by their knowledge that she could swoop down on them and launch a scathing critique of their work at any time. For Heero it was a feeling of exposure that made his back twitch. He couldn't watch all angles, couldn't see every threat, and that made his paranoia, put firmly in the pilot's seat since birth, go into high gear. It made him even more irritable and abrupt than usual.

"Give me the report on Maxwell and I'll review it."

Une blinked, whatever she had been prepared to say forestalled. She picked up a chip from her desk and handed it to Heero. "It's all there."

"Terminate if I find that he's compromised?" Heero snapped out as he closed an aching hand over the chip.

She frowned, "No, of course not, Yuy! If you find evidence that he's compromised, you'll report it to me for further action. He'll be separated from the general population and de programmed."

"You suspect mental triggers?" Heero hated stupidity. This seemed over the top for a woman that he had once respected for her intelligence. "It didn't work for your organization during the war. Why would Maxwell break now?"

"I don't know," Une replied, her expression making it clear that she knew exactly what Heero was thinking. "It's my job to not drop the ball, Yuy, and to not think of anyone as infallible or incorruptible."

"My bets are on corrupted," Heero told her firmly. "He suffered ample torture and chemical inducement during the war. It failed."

"There were also attempts to corrupt him," Une revealed. "A poor kid from the back stews of L2 laughed at us when we told him to write his own credit amount for information on the rebels and Gundams. He didn't even bother trying to give us false information. That told me that he had firm allegiances."

"Had?" Heero echoed. "If you're going to pretend that Preventers hasn't taken directions that have been unpopular, then I suggest that you get your head examined. I think whether he has changed his allegiance or not will be he main thrust of my investigation."

"It's not an investigation," Une told him impatiently. "You are here for observation purposes only."

Heero glared, feeling temper bubbling and almost reaching a boiling point. "This seems a waste of resources."

"That's my decision. If you can't follow orders..." She raised a precise eyebrow at him, letting the threat hang between them.

Heero felt like punching something in frustration, but he knew the rules. He was an attack dog on a leash and he always had been. It had been made clear to him, even in his youth, that more intelligent heads should be allowed to make the decisions. He couldn't always see the logic in their decisions or make his own decisions because of that lack of insight.

"I'll observe Maxwell and I'll train the recruits. I hope they all survive it," Heero growled and stalked out of that too exposed office.

Heero had a bunk in the dorm area of Preventers. A thick door opened and a person crawled onto a bunk platform. Gear was stowed in a compartment overhead. Walls held vid, computer, radio, and communications. Closing the door behind him and locking it, left Heero, lying on his back, feeling as if he was surrounded by information, as if he was back in the zero system and part of the machine. Some people might have found it sterile and claustrophobic, but Heero found it comforting.

Loading Duo's information chip into the computer he grunted at the information stream it presented him. Mission gone bad. At least Maxwell hadn't caused it, though. Some third level pencil pusher had ordered a messy retrieval and Maxwell had felt it necessary to cover the escape of his acquisition's ass with his life. Subsequent capture by the targets followed and there had been a two week time frame before Maxwell had been extracted from the situation. Extensive signs of torture had been evident on Maxwell's body and he was suffering from amnesia covering the precise period of his incarceration. Heero could see why Une was suspicious.

Heero went over Duo's records, updating himself on anything that might give Maxwell an edge if it came to trying to subdue the man, one on one. He didn't find anything. Like himself, Duo had simply relied on the top training that he had received as a Gundam pilot. Improvement hadn't been necessary. His missions were all impeccable, tidy, and successful. The one that had made him a captive was an aberration that begged many questions. Why had Une felt it necessary to step in and assign Maxwell a superior officer, when his lone infiltration techniques had always been more than adequate? Like Heero, he was given orders and then allowed to follow them independent of oversight. Micro managing Duo's last mission and giving him orders in the field of operations, showed a lack of confidence in Maxwell that was puzzling.

Heero went over medical records, noting each injury, past and present. The man wasn't careful of his body, that was certain. He sacrificed with a complete lack of thought for actually being physically able to complete a mission. That disaster hadn't struck, earlier, was a testament to his strength, rather than intelligent planning.

Heero looked up Maxwell's residence, lastly, and was a bit surprised to find that the man had a small home on the outskirts of the city. Rural, definitely. Looking at a street level map, he approved of the way that it was hidden behind greenery and that not even a mail drop was visible from the road. An ariel wasn't anymore revealing. In fact, someone had hacked the satellite feed. It showed a blank spot where lower level photographs should have pierced the foliage and shown the foot print of a home. Duo had been thorough.

The file photo of Duo showed a face that was both smug and intense. The smile was intentionally disarming. Heero had seen those lively eyes go flat of emotion, when the man was dealing death. That serious core of him, that could do what was necessary, had surprised Heero, he recalled. He found himself searching the eyes of the file photograph, trying to see that military side of him, the part of his personality that could turn off his good natured, selfless, and engaging personality in order to win a conflict in a deadly fashion.

Heero turned off the computer with a growl of annoyance. What was he thinking? Engaging personality? The man was, possibly, a mole, a saboteur in the Preventers organization. This wasn't the time to give Maxwell any traits that would cause any favorable opinions towards the man.

As Heero switched off the lights to sleep, though, he couldn't stop remembering Duo from the war. The man had drawn him like a moth to a flame, intriguing Heero with ideas and feelings that had been off limits at the time, that Heero had continued to make off limits even now. They had experienced an odd friendship, back then, that had been more than just fellow soldiers finding common ground on the battlefield of skill and dedication to a cause. Heero hadn't named it, back then, and he was still finding it hard to label it, now, but in his dreams Duo laughed and told him that being human was all right.

-----------------------------

It was always hard to move when he first crawled out of bed. Joints had locked, swollen, or simply relaxed and liked it that way. It was hard to convince them that he was in command of himself as Heero left his tube and opted for a hot shower.

His joints mobile again and finally feeling as if he could start his day, Heero grabbed an energy drink and a power bar from the commissary and then headed for the training field. He knew he was early, but he wanted to walk the field and the training facility to note any changes since his last evaluation. It wouldn't due to have his trainees know more than he did about the course.

"Fuck this, anyway," Heero muttered as he crushed his energy drink can and tossed it towards a receptacle meant for trainees to sit and cool off if they overextended themselves. The can landed on the cushioned seat and the mobile ac began to whir and cool the air inside as it sensed a presence.

Soft, Heero thought bitterly. That was the problem. Everything allowed for mistakes, for failures, for people to do less than their best. He needed to change that if he ever hoped to turn desk geeks into top notch field agents.

Heero pulled out his cell and called his field crew. "You better be working on my ship," he growled when someone answered.

"Sorry, sir," the mechanic said, sounding as if Heero had disturbed his sleep. "Une's orders. Your ship isn't going anywhere so it's been given low priority."

Heero's hand tightened on the cell in anger, finger joints aching, but still capable of turning the phone into random parts with a flex of muscles. He let those random parts scatter to the ground.

"Temper, temper."

Heero tensed and then turned angrily as he recognized Duo's voice. "Don't do that!"

"I don't think that's my responsibility," Duo retorted, but with a joking attitude. "You're the one allowing me to get inside your perimeter undetected."

Duo was wearing fatigues that were tight on the crotch and ass, and well worn in those areas. The camouflage pattern was almost nonexistent on his chest and knees. He was wearing black leather gloves without fingers as well and sturdy combat boots that had seen better days. Heero himself had opted for his old black stretch shorts and khaki shirt with the Preventer logo on the breast. His boots were hikers, meant to grip when he ran, climb walls, or land an incapacitating kick to an enemy.

Duo was looking around them as morning mist rose and sunlight began lighting up the course in a golden glow. The light also hit his brown hair, making random strands blaze like red fire. "I see a problem," he said sourly. "This course is too easy. We'll have to beef up section two, there, and-"

"I realized that already," Heero snapped, cutting him off. "I'll have maintenance make the changes for tomorrow's run."

Duo smiled as he cocked his head and looked sideways at Heero. "Give them two days, Heero. That's reasonable."

"Will you be this soft on the recruits?" Heero wondered acidly.

"I'm not being soft. Logistics is my specialty, Yuy," Duo informed him. "I know how long it takes to rebuild the course to new specifications. Two days is minimum. They'll have to work hard to complete the changes."

Heero knew that he was right, but he wasn't going to acknowledge it. He grunted as he finished his breakfast, waded up the wrapper, and swallowed as if he were eating gravel.

Duo was looking him over, he realized, purple eyes critical under long brown lashes. Evil pixie, Heero thought again, and wondered what genes had to combine to produce someone with eyes that big, a mouth that generous, and cheekbones that made the entire package look unreal. To top off looks like that with a braid that thick and long, when he was an infiltration expert, seemed madness.

Heero's jaw tightened at the scrutiny and then he bit out, "If you're going to violate regulations against fraternization while on duty, I'll have to file a formal complaint."

Duo snorted in amusement. "I can only completely follow that regulation if I'm stone cold dead, Yuy. I like men. I'm surrounded by men. Not much I can do about certain urges, you know? I wasn't ogling your abs, though, if that's what you were thinking. I'm assessing you for physical activity. Should I avoid calling on you to demonstrate certain techniques during training?"

"I passed my physical," Heero informed him as he moved to examine a low obstacle on the course.

"I'm sure you did," Duo replied, still with that damned tone of amusement. "But our hundred percent, even though it exceeds everyone else's, can still have weak spots that shouldn't be pricked at. Am I right?"

Heero countered, "Do you have any weak spots?"

"Right ankle," Duo replied. "It's been broken too many times. Once in awhile it folds when I stress it too much." He pointed to his back. "Skin graft still healing. It keeps me from being as flexible as I need to be on that side."

Duo made a hand gesture that implied, your turn.

Heero declined to list his aches and pains. He said instead, "Optimum."

Duo sighed. "That could mean just about anything. Well, I guess we'll find out, won't we, Iron Man?"

"Razor wire," Heero said.

Duo was quiet and then his mind made the connection, "Under the low poles? I'm not sure Une wants her recruits turned into sushi."

"Real danger makes real agents during training," Heero believed.

Duo considered it, his eyes tracking the obstacle as if following ghostly recruits through it. "Barbed wire. Less skin damage."

Heero glared and then shrugged irritably, hating how the motion made a shoulder twinge painfully. "I suppose you won't use shrapnel bombs either, during training?"

Duo gave Heero a look as if questioning his sanity. "Of course we'll use them."

That gave Heero an unexpected feeling of pleasure which he quickly clamped down on. Psych kept telling him that he needed to cure his enjoyment of destructive things, but, when they saved lives on his side of the battle, and cleared a field of enemies, he couldn't help a surge of pleased adrenaline. Even bombs that could only cause a concussive force and flesh wounds was enough to generate that feeling.

They began a back and forth session of suggestions for the course and curriculum, then, that was almost friendly, each relying on the expertise of the other as they walked the course several times and made mental notes.

"I will expect you to run the new course and set the record time, when the upgrade is completed," Duo said as they walked towards the training rooms, the rising sun warming Heero's back almost pleasantly.

Heero felt a small tick of trepidation. He was certain that he could run the course, but in record time? He wasn't at all sure about that. The thought of embarrassment, in front of a former Gundam pilot comrade, made him retort, "As long as you understand that you will be expected to complete it in record time as well?"

Heero was surprised when Duo admitted, "I'm not sure that I can."

Heero had stopped at that admission. Duo was standing with his hands in his pockets, head down, but eyes sparkling at Heero and mouth curved up in a smile. He was looking like a little boy who had just admitted to stealing a cookie.

"What...?" Heero wasn't certain what to say.

"Skin graft," Duo reminded him. "Bum ankle? They also tell me that I was probably tortured for weeks. I'm not running any courses at optimum physical speed. That's why I'm relying on you to set the standard for the recruits."

Duo began walking again and Heero stood for a moment before following. He wasn't sure how he felt about Duo's admission or the fact that he was now bound and determined to set a record that he wasn't certain that he could reach.

_____________________________________

Paul Tumik: Tall, thin, thick glasses, and a shock of red hair that made him look like a rooster. Supposedly he was a super genius when it came to infiltration electronic systems

Randy Carmichael: short and powerful, his black hair caught back in a pony tail, he had lively, intelligent blue eyes and a talent for weapons.

Cynthia Polente: Dark skinned, and hair buzzed very short, she had tribal tattoos all over her body and calm dark eyes that promised no nonsense and attention to detail. She was reputed to be a tactical genius

Juarez Sanchez: big and solid muscle, he looked more like an olympic weight lifter than someone who's expertise was computer systems.

Granger Porter: Another red head, but this one sported red dred locks and had a build that reminded Heero of a mountain gorilla. His arms were unusually long. His expertise was in transport vehicles on the ground and in the air.

Tommy Rajmallay, was a dusky color so dark he almost looked purple, his hair buz cut short and carved with intricate designs. He was a quiet man, always at the back of the newbies, and never answering any questions put to the group. He was supposedly a top pilot.

All of them had one thing in common, Heero thought sourly, they tested at the top of their class in virtual simulations. None of them, however had been able to pass real life testing. In fact, each personnel file listed their physical abilities as severely challenged. Trainers had entered notes that they should never be allowed missions that required them to leave command stations. Une had basically dropped into Heero's lap, a group of washouts, people who should have been released to use their talents in a safe society.

None of them had been on time. In the meeting room, they had all tried not to sit close to where Heero had placed his palm computer and a sheaf of notes. Rajmallay had sat the farthest away, hunched and staring at the floor. Tumik was sipping a coffee, eyes glazed, as if he wasn't used to waking up that early. Carmichael was glaring and tapping a blunt finger on the table, as if making a silent point. Polente was staring at her small hand computer. Narrowing his eyes, Heero could see that she was checking a social site. Sanchez looked as if he needed two chairs and was uncomfortable in the extreme with just one. Porter was sighing and staring at the ceiling as if something far more interesting than the meeting was going on up there. In his olive green fatigues and combat boots, Heero was the only one dressed as if he belonged to Preventers. The rest were dressed in civilian casual.

Heero's joints were aching and he had the beginning of a headache. Even a hot shower hadn't taken the edge off of the pain. That made him dynamite with the fuse waiting to be lit. Fuck this! he thought furiously. Fuck Une! Fuck Maxwell who hadn't bothered showing up. A corner of Heero's mind suspected, as he thumped into his seat, his knee unable to support him for a more gentle landing, that the man had taken off for parts unknown, leaving him with an assignment incomplete and washouts that he doubted even he could train to be field experts.

Heero stared at his trainees, hot gaze steady and so intense that even Porter and Polente finally noticed. When he had their attention, he said firmly, "Civilian clothes are not appropriate for field mission training. I'm going to show you why. I want all of you to run the outer course around the training field twenty five times and then report back here."

They blinked at him in disbelief. Only Porter dared a "What?" of shock.

"If you wish to file a formal protest with Une," Heero told them, "she is ready to take your resignations."

The outer course was a half mile. The sun was already baking the asphalt outside, even that early. By the time that they finished, it would be ready to fry eggs. It wasn't any place for casual slip on shoes, tight pants, and trendy layered, button down shirts.

"Don't they say that a commander shouldn't ask trainees to do what they wouldn't?" It was Duo, leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed over his chest, and smiling broadly. There was a glint in his eye that was a reprimand and it was aimed at Heero.

Fuck Duo!

Heero stood up, glaring. He could see expectant nods from his trainees. He was challenged. If he backed down, he wouldn't have their respect.

"Get down to the field and wait there," Heero ordered icily. When his trainees slowly complied and he was finally left alone with Duo, Heero leaned over the shorter man, furiously. "Where have you been?"

"Medical," Duo replied calmly. "I'm still undergoing treatments for the grafts."

"Is that also going to be your excuse for not running the course as well?" Heero demanded.

"Yes, it will be.... or is...." Duo chuckled. "Heero, don't get pissed because I'm calling you out for abusing our trainees. We're supposed to teach them how to be field agents, not kill them the first day asking them to do something that's not within their abilities, right now."

"They won't finish the course," Heero retorted. "They will give up long before they sustain any injuries."

"You can't give up, though," Duo said with an apologetic shrug that wasn't believable. "You'll have to set the example by finishing."

Heero felt his hand turn into a rock hard fist, a fist that could kill. The joints ached and then shot pain up his arm. He wanted to shake out the pain, but pride wouldn't let him. "What will you be doing? Watching?"

"Taking notes," Duo replied with a casualness that almost lit Heero's fuse. "They all signed up for field work even though it's obvious that they are physically incapable. Une didn't push them into this training course with us. Someone sold them on it. What we have to find out is if that sales job going to be enough to get them through our training course? Is their desire to do field work real?"

Logical, Heero thought, but wrong. Heero was almost certain that his trainees were being forced to comply to Une's wishes because of threats. With Preventers they could play with high tech toys. They wouldn't want to lose that privilege. Training might seem a necessary evil, something they were willing to endure, at least until they saw just how tough two Gundam pilot trainers could make it for them. Heero was expecting a one hundred percent drop out rate.

Duo itched the scar over his nose as he regarded Heero. It didn't look old and Heero wondered if it hurt as well as itched. The odd thought was quickly discarded as he growled angrily and shoved past Duo to go into the hallway. He heard a hiss of pain from the man, felt a flash of guilt, but then told himself that he didn't care. He, himself, was going to be in a lot of pain by the time that he finished the course, and it was all Duo's fault.

Duo was walking a few steps behind him. Heero ignored him as he pushed through a heavy set of doors into sunlight. His knees loosened up as he strode to the training field. He noticed, at once, when Duo fell back, unable or unwilling to keep that pace. Heero didn't look back at him. He was too busy forcing his body to do as he wished, pumping it full of adrenaline and telling it that it was going to run that course whether it enjoyed it or not.

The recruits look sloppy, lazy, and irritated. The coffee and the palm computers were gone, though, and they were eying the asphalt track with trepidation. Heero began jogging as he passed them, barking the simple order, "Get started!"

Heero heard them behind him. He didn't outpace them. He simply kept in front, falling into a mile eating pace that was effective as the lope of a wolf. It was a lesson, if they chose to learn it.

When Heero exercised he didn't think of anything. His mind was a blank slate, his goal all encompassing. It was relaxing that way, a form of rest that was mental, if not physical. He didn't need to make decisions, didn't need to accomplish a mission, wasn't juggling life and death in the palm of his expert abilities. There was only the burn of muscle and the steady beat of his heart filling his world.

Duo was suddenly in front of him holding a bottle of water. He smiled and motioned with it to Heero. Heero had enough time to slow and stop before running into him, to realize that he had gone blank and had kept running far more laps than he had asked his trainees to accomplish. He hadn't wanted that small, mental vacation to end. Now that his legs weren't pumping any longer, exhaustion caught up with him. He bent over, feeling hot and dizzy. Duo's arm was there for support, but offered like a friendly gesture as he put the water in Heero's hand, clapped him on the shoulder, and gave Heero his room. The water was warm. Heero uncapped it and drank it down in gulps that splashed his face.

"Still completely crazy," Duo chuckled but the concern in his eyes belied his light tone. "You never give yourself a break."

Heero splashed more water into his face and over the back of his neck. "When I'm dead," he replied between exhausted breaths.

"Just what I thought you'd say," Duo sighed, but then motioned to where the trainees were standing in a shaded area by one of the kiosks that shot cooling air at them. The men had lost shirts. Everyone looked sweaty and footsore. They were all watching Heero and Duo. "We have an audience. Make it look good Iron Man."

Heero nodded and straightened, squaring his shoulders and he forced protesting joints to close the space between them and the trainees.

"Thirty five laps," Tumik muttered in disbelief. "What the hell is he made out of?"

"Twenty credits he's bio engineered," Carmichael said sourly.

"He's shitting tough for an old man, " Polente said with some awe.

Old man? Heero frowned and glanced aside at Duo who looked amused.

"Dressing properly and using techniques to optimize your physical performance are both key to successful mission completions with minimal injuries or loss of life," Heero told them, "Tomorrow you will all dress properly and leave all un approved devices in your living quarters. Dismissed."

They left in a weary group, talking in low whispers that Heero was still able to hear. None of what they were saying was flattering.

"Short day," Duo complained as he made notes on his palm computer. Before Heero could retort Duo was giving him his observations. "Carmichael was the only one who could keep up with you, but that only lasted for nine laps. Everyone else fell out at five."

Five? Heero mouthed incredulously and then shook his head. "This is useless. These people will never be field agents."

"It's only day one," Duo pointed out. "Stop trying to kill them and start building them up."

Heero glared. "You're speaking as if I'm the only one training them."

"Well, physically, you're the only one able to," Duo reminded him. "Don't worry, I'll come in on the rest of it."

The rest of it being only a small fraction of the actual training.

"Look it as a chance to get into shape, Yuy," Duo pointed out as he turned and walked after the trainees. "You're getting soft as a pilot. You didn't run that half so well as you used to in the old days."

Heero felt the sting of that comment. His fist pounded against one thigh, punishing it for betraying him. He knew it would leave a bruise.

-------------------------------------------------------

Heero needed information. He wasn't savvy enough to get it, though. While Duo seemed open and approachable, he was as dumb as a sphinx about what had happened to him on his ill fated mission. Even talking about wounds and probable liabilities seemed an off topic subject. Heero only had assurances that Duo couldn't run the coarse. In fact the real truth might be a reluctance to engage in the physical activity; using his supposed wounds as an excuse for laziness.

Heero did go easier on the recruits, chafing at having to cater to lesser abilities, but understanding that it was necessary to 'build them up'. Perhaps they would never be Gundam pilot quality, but Une had wanted field agents, not supermen.

"Randy bend some fingers the wrong way in that last sparring match?"

Heero stiffened and stopped rubbing his aching fingers. He moved away from Duo, who was, amazingly, in his personal space. They were watching the recruits go through their basic fighting techniques. They had gloves, helmets, and chest pads, which, in Heero's estimation, slowed their reflex time. As they tried to get the best of their training partner, Heero had been making notes on a computer pad while he leaned against a wall of the training room. A hand cramp had made him tuck the pad under an arm to allow him to try to rub it out.

"Hardly," Heero grumbled as he eyed Duo. The man was dressed in black fatigues, his dog tags and cross sparkling against that darkness. His face looked pinched with weariness, but he still managed an amused expression.

"You won't tell me, will you?"

Heero glared as he untucked the computer pad and made more notes. "Would you like to be more specific?"

"Do I need to be more specific?" Duo cocked his head to one side thoughtfully, his braid swinging with the motion. He shrugged when Heero decided to ignore him and hunch over his notes. "All right, don't talk about it," Duo sighed, "but I won't talk about me unless you start talking about you."

"An equivalent exchange?"

Duo snorted. "I call it sharing, but, all right. You tell me what's going on with you and I'll reciprocate."

Duo's attention went to Cynthia as she sucker punched Sanchez. "Don't fight dirty yet, Cynthia!" he warned. "I'm saving that for after you learn technique."

She chuckled and Duo grinned. "She's going to be good. Give her time."

"Acting positive doesn't bring positive results," Heero retorted as he finished his notes and put away the computer. "She's bottom of the class."

"Which is why fighting dirty will help her the most," Duo pointed out. "She needs the advantage." He stared at Heero and Heero stared back for a full minute. Duo finally blinked, breaking their staring contest, and sighed. "You still don't like to lose."

Heero tried to understand what he meant and then remembered the war. "Losing usually means dying."

"You enjoyed competition," Duo reminded him. "I think it's one of the few things you allowed yourself to enjoy back then."

"Because I was still completing a mission while I enjoyed myself," Heero admitted.

Heero didn't want to remember the pain of those days, the constantly hoping for death to end it all. After the war he had put that kind of thinking behind him. He had replaced fanaticism and a childhood career of violence for dedication to helping others. Yes, he often still faced death, and there was violence, but he didn't feel as if it was all for the benefit of someone's personal gain. He was working for humanity and that was enough of an ideal to make suicide unpalatable.

Heero shifted his weight off of an aching kneecap, reached down, and rubbed it as he thought about competition and how exciting facing Duo in those competitions had been.

"Tell me one thing," Duo asked, and the man was suddenly very close.

In my personal space again, Heero thought and wondered why it didn't make him as angry and uncomfortable as it should have. Duo wasn't tensed, Heero decided. He was relaxed, hands in his pockets, and his weary expression making him at least appear open and friendly.

"Depends." Heero countered. His eyes were on the recruits. He could smell a light cologne on Duo; something spicy.

"One for one," Duo said, low and serious.

Heero's eyes flicked to him and then away. His hand almost went to check his crotch. Duo's close warmth and scent was definitely making his body begin to take notice. "All right."

Duo leaned in even closer and asked, very softly, "Are you gay?"

Heero frowned. He was surprised that it was a question that had an answer that he had no interest in concealing. "I don't know."

Duo seemed to digest that answer with difficulty, eyes a little wide. "You don't know?" He measured out each word; incredulous.

"I don't have a preference," Heero clarified.

"Then... you're bi?" Duo wondered.

"I don't have a preference," Heero repeated firmly.

Heero might have claimed to be asexual, but Duo was making him react. The man had ALWAYS caused a reaction. It wasn't something he felt for anyone else, man or woman. People might seem handsome, beautiful, or particularly ugly visually, but physically Heero never felt a strong reaction.

"Your turn," Heero announced.

Duo seemed ready to argue and then realized that his one question had been used. He scratched the back of his neck as if punishing himself and then shrugged. "Okay, your turn."

"Did your kidnappers sexually assault you?"

Duo chuckled and that surprised Heero. "Medical says, no."

Heero had chosen his question well. Trained to withstand torture, and knowing Duo's history of surviving it already, Heero was confident that something that straight forward wouldn't be enough to unhinge the ex Gundam pilot. Sexual assault was much more damaging.

"You find that amusing?" Heero wondered.

Duo shrugged and then winced when that caused him pain. "That's another question, but I'll answer it. Long hair and cheeky grin. Obviously, I advertise 'rape me' and people can't resist whether they're straight or not."

Heero tried to make sense out of that comment and couldn't.

Duo decided to help him after a long moment. "Most men don't consider sex with a male captive, even when that captive is as charming and handsome as I am. It's always number one on the 'so you've been a captive' questionnaire, though. You've proven it again, by asking it."

"Because that information is confidential," Heero informed him with a tone of disapproval. It was ridiculous to maintain that confidentiality during an investigation, but the information had been lacking in the report Une had given him.

"Two questions about sex," Duo observed. "We're definitely guys." he checked the trainees and then eyes Heero speculatively. "If you meet me at my place, tonight, I'll let you ask another question."

"Your place?" Heero considered that Duo might want him in a remote location to attack him, but then discarded that fear. He was confident that he was a match for Duo. "What time?"

Duo's eyes narrowed. "You're easy to read. You just decided that your skills are superior to mine, so a date, in an out of the way place is all right."

Heero didn't deny it.

"I might have other people waiting to take you out," Duo reminded him.

Heero snorted and actually felt amused at the notion. "You wouldn't have told me."

"I might have, to throw off your guard," Duo seemed irritated now. "Don't treat me like a lightweight, Yuy."

Heero felt surprised. "You're the one underestimating me," Heero replied. "I should be the one offended. Of course I won't go to your home without all due caution and advantage. There will not be opportunities to either kidnap or kill me."

Duo pursed his lips and then sighed. "I guess I was insulting you. Sorry. Let's try this again; date at my place, 7 o'clock?"

"I don't feel comfortable using the term, date," Heero replied, but then nodded. "I will agree to a meeting, though."

Duo looked relieved. "Good, because I sure as hell wouldn't want to try and crawl into a tube apartment with you." He paused and reconsidered. He amended with a leer. "Actually ,that might be fun, but, not on a first date."

Heero looked irritated and Duo put up placating hands. "All right! Meeting."

"I'll be there," Heero promised and the strode towards the trainees to give them their next training exercise.

-----------------------------------------------

"Two hours late?" Duo wondered irritably as he leaned in the doorway of his home, arms crossed over his chest. "I gave up on you;decided that Une had called you in on some action."

He was wearing paper thin red spandex that left nothing to the imagination and no shirt. Gym socks and shoes looked overlarge on his feet as he paced away inside the house without waiting for Heero's response. Heero could see scars, burns, and a crudely scrawled name that he decided had been cut into Duo's left shoulder blade by an enemy. Why he hadn't removed something that crude mystified Heero.

He limped, not so much from any obvious wound on his legs but, perhaps, from torn ligaments or stressed joints. Heero considered methods of binding an enemy for long periods of time and had almost decided on a method when Duo turned with hands on hips, glaring.

"Stop it!"

Heero tensed. "Clarify."

"Stop trying to figure me out like I'm an enemy. Right now you're examining me for weaknesses, aren't you?"

"No," Heero corrected him, feeling just as irritable. "I was trying to determine the method of your incarceration."

Duo blinked, changing mental tracks. He smiled suddenly, "Experts have already written the report, Heero. Are you getting lazy in your old age by not reading them? I was hung on a bar system that let them twist and turn me in any way they liked. You just don't bounce back from that."

"I like to draw my own conclusions without prejudice interfering." The truth was far more irritating. That information had not been included in the report. Heero made a mental note to ask Une her reasons.

Duo pulled at the thin spandex as if it was binding him in a delicate area. Once it was away from his skin it was very sheer. Heero looked away and decided to study Duo's home, instead.

"I made dinner," Duo told him as he reached and took a small towel from a chair back. "It's cold, now. I was relying on your usual punctuality."

"Microwave it," Heero replied automatically as he took his own tour of dark rich leather furniture, thick, white wool throws, rich wood flooring, and a fireplace that looked well used. A door, that was huge, heavy, and made of polished wood, slid sideways on a track. It was open to reveal a large bedroom and a small library. It looked cluttered, bits of machinery, discarded guns, and various tools mixing with computers and antique books made from paper.

Duo rubbed at the back of his neck with the towel and replied, "I won't lie and say I made the stuff, but microwaving twice will make it suck."

A large picture on one wall was of a red poppy. It offset the darker furniture and the dark wood floor well. "You didn't decorate. Who owns this place?"

"Busted," Duo chuckled. "This is one of Zech's retreats. All it needs is an animal head mounted somewhere and it will completely represent his inner crazy. If it were up to me, I'd put in a machine shop, some titanium furniture that can take some shit, and a platform to land a jump ship on. Instead, I have to put up with his Highness's idea of masculine, highbrow, gay."

"You're having a relationship?" Heero turned to look at Duo, then, and wondered at the anger that boiled just under his skin at the thought of Peacecraft touching Duo.

Duo looked puzzled and then amused. "I'm house sitting, actually. He told me, takes a thief to stop thieves and that he was tired of seeing my ugly face 24/7 at Preventers when I wasn't on a mission. Of course I have to move out when he sends guests here, but that hasn't happened, yet. Maybe he's being charitable by letting me stay, but I don't want to owe him, so I just think of myself as his guard dog."

Once Duo had established that Peacecraft wasn't on the radar, Heero had ceased to listen. He knew that Duo hated silence. He would fill it with uninformative crap for hours and Heero had learned not to pay attention to it.

"This place has four bedrooms," Duo went on. "Why don't you move in, too? We can use it as a base of operations when we're in town."

"All right," Heero agreed. Duo's silence and wide eyes told him that he hadn't expected that answer.

"All right?" Duo repeated and then, a third time, "All right! You can have the bedroom down at the end of that hall. That way we have a good landing field between us and we won't bother each other. There's a door down there, as well, so you won't even have to pass me in the hall if you don't want to."

Heero replied impatiently, "I didn't agree to avoid you."

Duo understood then and his disappointment wasn't concealed well. "Back to Duo:the mission. Well, you can watch me all day and night, Yuy, but you won't find out anything a team of psyches couldn't. The people who took me captive, cleaned out my memories and left me some painful mementoes of our time together."

Heero stared. he didn't think he needed to reply to foolishness. Duo sighed when Heero didn't play his game. He waved a hand in the air dismissively as he turned and headed for his bedroom. "Go ahead and watch me, but not in the shower. I ate already and did my exercises. You can finish dinner and wait for me to come back out."

Heero nodded, once, as if he had just been given an order.

Duo looked disgusted. "Sit down for Christ's Sake! I know your knees are killing you. Stop being the Iron Man."

Heero scowled. "You've been around Ivers, again. He's annoying enough as a ground crew chief."

Duo snorted as he headed for the shower. "You should listen to him more often. he has some good advice, as well as soon good phrases."

Heero headed for the kitchen through an arched doorway of carved wood muttering about idiotic phrases from an idiotic man. He stopped when he realized that he was talking to himself in a kitchen that would have made a five star chef very happy.

The leftovers from dinner were still on the table in their foil covered cartons. They were from a steak restaurant close to Preventer headquarters. Duo's dishes were in the sink. It didn't look as if he had eaten much.

Heero couldn't help a relived sigh when he sat at the place that he assumed had been set for him and began eating. His knees were glad to get his weight off of them and his hungry stomach was glad for the food. When Heero thought about it, he realized that he had skipped lunch.

Duo re-appeared sometime during dessert. Heero pushed the raspberry creme tart aside and began stacking his dishes neatly.

"There's a maid in the morning. Might as well leave them for her," Duo told him as he leaned against the door to the kitchen and dried his long loose hair with a towel.

"A maid? She has a key?" Heero felt slight trepidation at the thought that someone could simply walk into the house.

Duo smirked. "Yes, she does, and so does the gardner, the maintenance man, and Milliardo Peacecraft. When you have money, you can't get away from having hired help. If it makes you feel any better, you can lock the door to the hallway leading to your bedroom. They don't have a key for that."

After draping the towel over his shoulders, Duo picked up a leftover fork and took Heero's desert as he sat on the edge of the dinning room table. He was wearing loose, cotton pants that looked like black pajamas, and a white tank top. His feet were bare. They were large and masculine.

Heero was having his doubts again as he struggled to stand. he tried to keep his knees moving smoothly, but it was very difficult. He could feel Duo's eyes on him as he took his dishes to the sink and left them with Duo's.

Heero would have asked a number of questions. Duo asked nothing. He did point at Heero with a fork full of dessert and said, "I promised that we could talk if you came here. I'll go first. Why were you late?"

"I wasn't," Heero replied as he leaned with his back against the sink, his arms crossed over his chest.

Duo ate a bit of dessert, swallowed, and then said, "I can't think of a reason why you would do that."

Heero lifted an eyebrow.

Duo said impatiently as if replying to a question, "You're going to make me say it? If I was planning something it would work. Spending two hours outside wouldn't reveal anything and you know it."

"I was interested in the area," Heero replied. "It didn't pertain to any activities on your part. I think you overestimate your abilities when you say that any plan of yours would work against me."

Duo picked up the empty plate, stood, and took it to the sink. Putting it on top of Heero's dishes, he asked, "So, you watched the neighborhood for two hours? I think you underestimate my abilities. I can take you."

"I was attempting to see if your kidnappers were watching you. I didn't find any signs of observation. I am well aware of your abilities and your limitations. You have never been my equal."

Duo turned to him and glared. His wet hair was falling over his shoulders and wetting the towel and his tank top. He smelled like an expensive shampoo and soap, but not shaving cream or aftershave. This close, Heero couldn't see any stubble on the man's face.

"I think I can exceed your expectations," Duo told him and then leaned in a little closer. "Want to have sex together?"

Heero did. He couldn't deny his libido the quick, hot reaction to Duo's suggestion. It had always reacted that way and he had spent a war throttling it down and telling himself that the package was exciting to his body, but the young man wasn't. Maturity and deeper insight had changed even that opinion, but Heero was still firmly in the pilot's seat.

"That's not why I'm here," Heero replied and walked away.

Duo sighed. "Sorry, but I'm not like you. I am not confused at all about being gay. I also find guys who are hard assed iron men very hot."

Heero looked over his shoulder briefly and then saw that Duo was joking, trying to lighten an awkward moment. "We never fail to disappoint," he replied and went into the living room.

Heero sat on the couch and turned on the vid news. Duo sat beside him, stretching out his legs and then looking over at Heero. "I guess that goes with the territory of who we are," he finally replied. "In case you haven't noticed, there isn't a Mr. and Mr. Maxwell living here."

"I spent two hours noticing that," Heero growled.

Duo chuckled, reached out and took hold of Heero's leg. Heero almost struck out at him in irritation, but Duo was taking his strong hands and massaging Heero's knee cap. The pure blissful feeling stayed Heero's hard blow. He let his hand fall to his lap, and, after a bit he couldn't help sliding his other leg onto the couch and allowing Duo to massage that knee as well.

"We've lived hard lives," Duo said softly. "Don't pretend that it didn't cost us something. You're having problems with your joints. Take your damned medicine for it and stop being stubborn."

It was impossible to say thank you. Heero was unreasonably angry at having been exposed as weak and damaged. He was like an alligator; dangerous until you rubbed its belly and put it to sleep. Duo had found his weak spot and Heero was powerless.

"This doesn't change anything," Heero protested like a child pouting.

"Of course not," Duo agreed in exasperation. "You'll go to your room tonight and I'll go to mine. We'll talk again in the morning... if I haven't succumbed to some sort of mental conditioning and killed you in your sleep."

"Not likely," Heero snapped back.

"The conditioning or killing you?"

Heero pushed that aside. "So you do know why Une placed us together?"

Duo smiled. "My job is infiltration. I can infiltrate my own place of work very easily."

"That's why Une is cautious," Heero replied.

"Batshit scared, you mean," Duo corrected. He shrugged, "Well, if you're certain about your abilities and mine, nobody has anything to be afraid of."

Heero could almost agree, but he hadn't lived so long by not being ready for every eventuality.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The wide back porch of polished wood and bronzed metal hung out over a long drop down to a pristine lake. Mist covered everything, loons called to each other mournfully, and the world seemed blanketed under wet and cold. There were neighbors and a road that led to a major artery leading into the city. None of that was apparent, though, either by virtue of the fog or the early hour.

Duo sat facing the misty lake, a towel under him to soak up the dew that had collected on the chair, dressed in his boxers, socks, and a jacket, and hugging a steaming coffee cup in both hands near his lips. His eyes didn't leave the contents of his cup as Heero limped to join him.

"You probably didn't sleep well," Duo said softly. "Super soft mattress, expensive sheets, climate controlled.... You're used to sleeping on a hard board bed in the berth of a jumpship."

The mattress had been made to conform to a body and to not put pressure on it. Heero had slept better than he had in years. He didn't admit that. He simply grunted and leaned on the rail to stare out at nothing.

Duo didn't like the silence. He asked, "So, what's the torture schedule for the agents, this morning?"

"Arm strengthening exercises," Heero replied. "Building up tolerances for unpleasant situations."

"Operate under all conditions," Duo clarified. "I still think being damned sneaky trumps physical strength every time. Besides, I don't think that bunch is going to toughen up to your standards.... ever."

"I have my doubts as well," Heero agreed. "I lodged them when I was first given this assignment."

"Did you lodge a complaint about Duo watching, too?"

Heero turned and leaned his back against the rail, facing Duo. The light from the house gave the man a soft glow, and his face was hard to read. "What are your expectations?"

Duo smirked. "That's blunt. You want a mission statement?" He lowered his coffee cup and shrugged. "I don't expect anything. If you stick around and, maybe, stick it in me, once in awhile, I would be okay with that."

Heero frowned, confused, and then understood. "When this assignment is over, I will be taking missions."

Duo chuckled. "I wasn't asking you to put on an apron and be a house boy." he took another sip of coffee and revealed, "I'm not taking anymore deep missions. In fact, I think this training stint isn't too bad. It has regular hours, I get coffee when I want, and I get to be in a nice house, and on a soft bed, by the end of the day."

Heero stared at Duo as if he had just sprouted another head. Duo laughed at him.

"You're... retiring?" The word didn't sit well on Heero's tongue.

"Slowing down," Duo corrected firmly. "I'll retire in a coffin."

"This might be exactly what the enemy intended, to take you out of action," Heero pointed out.

"Crippling or killing me would have done that, too," Duo replied and his eyes went to the lifting fog and the glimmer of dawn beginning to dust the landscape with light."I have my own theory."

Heero waited for Duo to elaborate. When he remained silent, he asked, irritably,"Explain?"

"It wasn't an enemy at all."

Heero frowned. "Are you suggesting that Une..."

"Not Preventers, not Une," Duo sighed as if Heero were being slow. "Not someone wanting to take down the government or Gundam pilots."

"Revenge?" Heero wondered.

"Perversion," Duo replied. "It's the only thing that makes sense."

Heero couldn't find the reasoning and simply glared until Duo supplied it.

"I was taken down," Duo explained with some embarrassment. "I was not killed. I was... tortured."

"Not sexually," Hero reminded him.

"I wasn't raped," Duo corrected, "As far as they can determine. I was strung up, burned, beaten, and then I was rescued at an abandoned warehouse."

"Cause of amnesia?"

Duo frowned. "That's the only sticking point. If it was perversion, the guy who kept me from getting killed after being captured would have wanted to enjoy my pain, right? Drugging me enough to affect my memories doesn't fit."

Heero shook his head impatiently and pushed away from the railing. "It does if Preventers is the one who gave you the amnesia."

Heero went back into the warmth of the house, wanting coffee and breakfast. Duo followed and then leaned on the kitchen counter as Heero decided which food would give him the optimal energy for the longest period of time.

"So you're suggesting," Duo said thoughtfully as he pulled a danish from a plate of them on the counter, and bit into one. He swallowed and finished, "That Une is having you watch me in case their attempt to give me amnesia fails?"

"I'm not suggesting anything," Heero replied as he looked over a bar of protein rolled in oats. "I simply gave your theory some validity with an interjection of logic."

Duo took the oat bar away from him and handed him an apple danish. "Live a little," he grunted.

Heero put it back on the plate and tried not to enjoy the sticky sweetness he licked off of his fingers. He picked up the rolled oats again and began eating it.

"So," Duo said as he poured Heero coffee and refilled his own cup. "We have a pervert who did such terrible things to me, that Une, in her infinite compassion, made me forget about it. Compassion and Une don't go together, Heero."

Heero grunted as he swallowed his tasteless breakfast and replied, "If the torture was bad enough to mentally compromise her best agent, she might have considered it."

Duo grinned. Heero glared. "You said 'best' agent."

"One of her best agents," Heero corrected.

"I'll take what I can get," Duo chuckled.

Heero took a long drink of his coffee and then put it down. "We need to be at the training grounds soon."

Duo was looking very hard at nothing. "They might have lied about the not getting raped part."

Heero looked at Duo curiously. "If you don't remember it, I don't see how that matters. Besides, you are actively gay."

"Always Mr. Sensitivity," Duo grunted and then shrugged, "It would piss me off if someone took some freebies..." He scowled, "and it pisses me off that you don't think that people like us wouldn't mind forced dick."

"I didn't say that," Heero argued. "I was pointing out that you are not straight or someone who hasn't had frequent sex. The trauma of forced sex would be less than-"

"Now you're calling me a whore?"

Heero frowned. "I refuse to continue the conversation since I fail to understand your position or emotional status."

"I don't think I want to continue it, either," Duo grumbled as he tossed the rest of his coffee into the sink. "I forgot how much you like facts and results, without considering the emotional factors."

"Emotions are impossible to interpret," Heero agreed. "Everyone has a different level of tolerance."

"Well, I won't curl up into a ball and need therapy because of something I don't remember. We'll leave it at that."

"Agreed," Heero replied. As Duo headed for his bedroom to dress, though, he said, feeling uncharacteristically sorry, "I'll learn your parameters."

Duo looked back over his shoulder, braid swinging, and a surprised smile on his face. "Why, Heero, that's like saying you love me!"

"Fuck that!" Heero snapped back, but it was an automatic expression of annoyance. The man never took things as seriously as he should.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"It's not like we ever see you do anything," was barely out of Sanchez's mouth before Duo deflected his arms aside and then flipped him over onto his back on the ground like a landed fish.

The man blinked up at Duo stupidly, trying to suck air with a diaphragm that was struggling. Duo looked like a child next to him, a smiling, hands on hips, devil imp of a child.

"I don't waste my energy, that's all," Duo told him with a chuckle. He reached down a hand to help the man up. After a second, the man took it, but he scrambled, knowing that Duo really couldn't pull his weight up off the ground.

Tumik looked over the rim of his glasses and made a disgusted sound. "I could have told you that would happen. Size isn't everything when you know how to use a man's weight against him."

"You were listening, good," Duo said, pleased. He had said those very words a few days ago to Polente, knowing that she needed the confidence when facing her larger opponents.

Duo looked over the ragtag group. Standing at attention, or looking even remotely like a military force, was probably never going to happen, and Heero and Duo were both in agreement that they weren't necessary. Working together was far more important and that was a goal still not realized. Duo's short speech on the importance of being a team had been countered with the question of why he wasn't physically part of the team. Heero, at least had been expecting it. Duo would have to have been a fool not to have expected it as well. A throw down wasn't going to remedy the situation either.

Duo pulled out a tazer from his pocket. He showed it to everyone. "This is the lesson for today; accomplishing a mission even when experiencing debilitating physical stress."

Jaws dropped. The usual curses and arguments rolled over Heero and Duo. It was time, though, to see if these desk jockeys had what it took to be real agents. If they couldn't finish a mission when facing pain and possible loss, then they didn't have any business being in the field.

Heero dropped a pack. "Mission; get that to the top of platform c, working as a team. Don't lose any team member."

Polente was white as she looked at Duo's tazer with wide eyes. "W-Where does the tazer come in?"

"I can't tell you everything," Duo replied and looked sympathetic. "I can only tell you that Heero and I accomplished this mission in record time. There's file footage, if you doubt that."

"What if we say, Fuck you, and go have coffee?" Porter demanded. His red dreads were tied back and his big shoulders and arms were flexing, as if he wanted to tear Duo apart with them.

"Then, after your coffee, you can sign your wash out papers and go find a job as tech assistance for a toaster company," Duo warned.

"I'm a top mechanic," Porter retorted. "The best. Une won't wash me out."

"You're a garage grease monkey," Heero growled back. "A dime a dozen and worthless if you never get into the field where your expertise is really needed."

Polente licked dry lips and looked across the mist covered field towards the platform sticking out of that mist. It was a long distance to cover. She picked up the pack, testing it's weight. "I can make that... with some help, guys. I don't want to wash out. This is my life."

Tumik surprised everyone by joining her. He grinned and said, "I may be a genius, but I'm not good with toasters. I'm with you."

Rajmally grunted and joined them, saying, "It'll be shit, I'm sure, but they won't let us die, right?"

"I wouldn't count on that," Carmichael warned as he joined the group. "I don't think Yuy follows orders that well."

Duo laughed at Heero's annoyed expression as the team reluctantly assembled.

Heero ignored him and checked his watch. "Go!" he said suddenly. They blinked stupidly at him. "Go! Go!" he ordered more loudly.

They began running in a ragged group into the mist.

"At least they went," Duo said, grinning at Heero's sour expression.

"That is more than expected," Heero agreed.

"You were hoping for a complete wash out weren't you?" Duo asked.

"It would have put an end to all of this," Heero said without denying it.

Duo cocked his head to one side. "Admit it, you're actually enjoying torturing them."

Heero kneaded his sore knuckles. The mist and the morning chill was making every joint throb. "It does relieve... stress... and... irritation."

"Thought so," Duo snickered. He looked out at the mist as someone yelled. "Molding new agents is fun. I get to be top dog without all of the putting my life on the line crap."

"That's important to you?" Heero wondered.

Duo sighed. "You never let it rest, do you?"

"If someone else knew your need for constant validation, they might have used that during torture," Heero pointed out.

"I don't need constant validation," Duo argued. "I've been humiliated plenty of times. My entire childhood was full of humiliation. Someone isn't going to break me because they tell me I'm not good enough. I just like being the best and training other people to be their best makes my day."

Duo was staring at the tazer, eyes thoughtful, almost puzzled.

"I like using my abilities," Heero admitted. "I don't like the thought of being useless."

"Always need orders or life is meaningless?" Duo wondered. He gestured to Heero with the tazer and said, as if he weren't changing the subject, "This makes every nerve twitch. I don't like it being near me."

He handed the tazer to Heero and Heero felt his hand shaking. He wouldn't have known that anything was wrong if Duo hadn't told him. The man was in control of himself.

Interesting, a part of Heero thought, but it was a small part. The anger was more prominent, the suspicion that someone had used a tazer on Duo liberally enough to leave that kind of physical trigger.

"It didn't bring up any memories," Duo told him as if emotions weren't attached to that statement at all. His voice was flat, matter of fact. He had withstood a bad reaction to holding a tazer to make certain that memories weren't triggered by it.

Another shout of surprise and pain from the mist. Duo grimaced and turned a little away from Heero.

"You need to overcome this reaction," Heero told him, his voice just as measured and flat. It was a truth that they both knew. They were forcing their trainees through a course to teach them the very thing that Duo now couldn't face.

"I think they need some help," Duo suddenly said. He tried to sprint into the mist, but his muscles, his bad ankle, and his grafts were obviously protesting. Heero knew he wouldn't let that stop him. He also knew that Duo wouldn't stop no matter what argument he made. He had to prove to himself that this new liability wouldn't keep him from completing a mission.

Heero held the tazer tightly, head bowed, and listened to the voices in the fog. He heard surprise as Duo joined the trainees. Heero could gage the distance and calculate the time that had passed. The trainees had stopped somewhere halfway and had been unable to go forward.

"Leave them!" Duo's shout came back to Heero.

"But we'll fail the test!" Polente protested.

That was the test, Heero knew as he heard someone... Tumik... agree with Duo. Sometimes agents had to be left behind to complete a mission. Team work sometimes meant that a team mate sacrificed for the others.

"Shit! Climb, Captain. Get your ass up here!" Polente, high voice carrying a long way.

"He's mine!" Duo shouted back. "Keep going!"

Heero knew there were men in the mist with tazers. Duo wasn't running from them. Duo was going to sacrifice for the team.

A lone figure with the pack made the top of the platform, cheered raggedly, and waved it up high. That figure was joined by a few others. Somehow Heero knew that Duo wouldn't be joining them.

"Fuck!" Heero cursed his joints and ran into the mist towards the platform. He passed fallen men just coming to from being tazed, their 'enemies' looking after them.

Climbing up the platform he found Duo hanging from the struts, long braid twisting lazily as a man held onto him looking concerned. Heero grabbed the man and shook at him. "Why the fuck did you taz him up here?"

"I didn't!" the man shouted back. "We started on the ground, I tazed him, and he kept climbing. What the shit, right? He was reacting though and clocked himself on a beam."

"Call for a medic!" Heero demanded as he tried to make Duo's position more secure.

Duo was still shaking. Heero heard him muttering brokenly, "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" Blood was dripping down from his forehead.

"It's over," Heero told him firmly, almost putting lips to Duo's ear. "I have you. I have you safe."

"H-Heero?" Duo whispered, incredulous and then went limp as if he knew that he didn't have to fight any longer.

---------------------------------------

It wasn't technically his ship, but Heero had flown it for two years and he knew every quirk, every nut and bolt, and every sound it made. Now that it was, again, technically, not assigned to him any longer, he was rather pleased that no one had dared yet to step foot in it. He supposed its name, Death Trap, was daunting enough, but the bare bones, hyped up thruster, collection of struts and gyros, that he had turned it into had been beyond anyone's ability to pilot. If he never stepped into it again, he could imagine it mothballed, or taken apart for scrap parts.

Heero spent several hours fine tuning the engines. He wasn't expecting a new assignment, but the morning that he had spent with the trainees, had taught him that Duo's absence there, was enough to sour him on the entire project. He didn't share Duo's enthusiasm and his trainees had seemed afraid, or at the very least, nervous about not having Duo around to keep Heero from going to excess in their drills.

Heero shook out a cramp in his fingers and felt a wave of anger as those same fingers refused to tighten down a panel. He let the tool drop, clattering on the metal deck, and glared at the panel. Sitting on the deck, tools around him, and a rag tied around his head to keep the sweat out of his eyes, he hadn't wanted to have something as simple as a screwdriver show him that active duty was going to be a fond memory soon, if it wasn't already. The clock was ticking down on his career and Duo had known it.

Of course Duo had seen it coming because he was sharing the same reality. In a hospital bed, having suffered a concussion, the doctors had been able to examine him thoroughly. During his debriefing on the incident, Une had admitted that such a medical examination had been zealously avoided by Duo after his first release from the hospital after his trauma. What they had discovered had taken Duo off field duty assignments permanently. More operations were in Duo's future, but doctors concluded that Duo's torn and stressed ligaments, even with further intervention, would never be able to take the stresses of field work.

Heero could see how having one of her best agents sidelined had not sat well with Une. The measuring look in her eye when she had gazed over her glasses at Heero, had apprised him of the fact that she was aware of his looming retirement from active duty as well. She couldn't miss his constant kneading of finger joints and the hitch in his walk that betrayed knees that weren't absolutely stable under him.

Fuck her anyway! Heero thought harshly. Even if he wasn't able to measure up physically, mentally he could still dance rings around any other agent. Duo had been right to look at other options. Heero was certain that the man had already known that his body was never going to heal enough for active duty. He had found his out, training agents, and Heero found himself seriously considering it as his option as well. He didn't intend to be put down like an old war dog who had passed his usefulness.

Heero ran a hand over the bulkhead of his ship and still felt bitter at his own body's betrayal. He had loved flying by the seat of his pants and jumping into a conflict to save the day. He flexed fingers that had been having trouble controlling the ship. The deviation that had caused the ship damage, had not been 'regular operating hazard', he admitted to himself, at last. He should have been able to avoid it. Une had known it after reading the report, he realized, and his mechanic, shooting him furtive, surprised looks when Heero had shown him the damage, had known as well.

'When you visit Maxwell,' Une had said,'Convince him to stay in bed. I want him under observation.'

'Why would I visit him?' Heero had snapped back and she had looked surprised and then measuring.

He was getting updates from the doctor on his mobile devices, Heero thought, so that he would know when Duo was ready to return to duty. Going into the medical building, a place that he hated, would be both non productive and embarrassing for Duo. The man wouldn't want Heero to see him less than optimal.

His absence was noticeable, though, and Heero wasn't certain how he felt about that development. His new home seemed far too large and empty without Duo filling up the place with his outgoing personality. Heero remembered, at uncomfortable times, Duo's hands kneading his knees and his casual offer of sex. Though he had yet to take Duo up on that offer, he couldn't deny that the possibility was poised between them.

Personal commitments could be messy things. Heero had zealously avoided them after his fiasco with Relena Peacecraft. She had mistaken his duty and his passion for the cause for deeper emotional attachments. She had wanted marriage, children, and a life in Sanq Kingdom. She had wanted to give him a peaceful end to his violent life. His scowl at her detailed plans, breathlessly told to him as he had lain in a hospital bed, after the Maramena incident, and his grunt of disgust had not been what she had expected. Duo's chuckle and his criticism for not 'letting her down easy' had been just as annoying at the time.

Heero frowned, remembering Duo always close to hand until he was released from the hospital. He had been a solid presence taken for granted. There hadn't been any expectations, not any requirement for Heero to put on a good face and appreciate the attention. Duo had guarded him, had made himself his go between when his disgust with doctors and nurses had almost reached violent levels, and had gone away when the release papers were signed. Heero hadn't thanked him and Duo hadn't seemed to need any such acknowledgment.

Heero felt the tug of duty. Concern for Duo wouldn't make him go where he wasn't comfortable, but duty was more powerful. He owed Duo and Heero hated owing anyone anything. He needed to visit Duo and put his ledger back in the black.

"Fuck!" Heero exploded and used the wall to support him while he gained his feet, his knees protesting all the way. He took a few limping steps to the hatch and then put a hand on the ship bulkhead once more. It felt like goodbye. Deep down, he knew that it was.

----------------------------------------

In medical, Duo's doctor gave Heero a bland look from over his computer pad. "You didn't really expect him to stay here? He checked himself out an hour ago. He flipped me off, too, when I questioned his sanity. I reported it to Une. Not that she'll write a report. Gundam pilots are sacrosanct, after all. You men can do what you want, right? Even if it means dying- "

Heero's hand shot out like a striking snake and the doctor made a startled sound as he locked onto the man's lab coat and hauled him close. "Dying?"

The man jerked the cloth out of Heero's grasp and it was easier than Heero liked.

The doctor glared as he straightened his coat. "Dying," he clarified, "as in stumbling around headquarters and taking the chance that he will pass out and injure himself so badly that he dies."

Heero took hold of the man's computer pad, flicked to Duo's chart, and quickly read his condition. Giving the incensed man back the pad, he grunted and turned on his heel. As he made his way out of the medical wing of Preventers, he was calmer. Duo's condition wasn't critical and Heero believed that he could operate even with disorientation resulting from his concussion. The few medication notes were problematic, though. Labels of 'classified' were far too numerous.Heero wondered if that had tripped Duo's sudden exodus. He wouldn't stay if he knew that he was being given mysterious drugs.

"Yuy?"

Heero turned, irritably. Wu Fei was not someone he wanted to see just then. The man was in full Preventer uniform, hair slicked back tightly and superior expression firmly in place. They called him Une's dog;always at her heel and carrying out her orders. There was a stiffness to his stance that told Heero that he was following orders, now. Not that he had ever had a social visit from the man. They called Heero the most antisocial Gundam Pilot, but Heero knew that Chang held that title. A man could be among throngs of people all day long, but still hold himself aloof by belief of superiority. Heero's sense of self worth, didn't even scratch the surface of the sense of superiority that Chang possessed.

"Make an appointment. I'm off duty," Heero growled and started to turn away.

Wu Fei didn't make the mistake of physically holding him back. He let cold words and attitude do that for him."Logs show that you were working on a ship against orders."

Heero glared back at the man. He couldn't help saying, "My ship."

Wu Fei didn't waste time in compassionate wording. "Not any longer. It's been decommissioned. You will not be issued a new ship. Your pilot's license, and access to the air strip as a pilot, has been revoked indefinitely."

Heero didn't have to ask why. Questions about his last mission had been raised and appropriate action had been taken. Heero couldn't help angrily flexing hands that had failed him as a pilot, even though he knew that the decision had been a correct one.

Wu Fei seemed braced for violence. Heero realized why he had been chosen to deliver the bad news. Aside from Duo, who, Heero suspected, would have turned down an order to tell Heero that his days of piloting were over, only Wu Fei stood a chance of defending against any violence that Heero might perpetrate in anger at the news.

Heero did feel like punching something. He had just been told that the best part of his life; piloting, flying through air and space, the ultimate freedom, was now denied him for the rest of his life because of joints ruined in the service of humanity.

"Fuck!" Heero let the one word out with a harsh breath as he blindly walked away from Chang.

The man didn't stop him this time. Heero could see him in his mind's eye, smartly turning and going back to Une, like a tin soldier, to give her his report. "Yuy received the news without violence,' he would probably tell her and then file his report electronically and forward it to all concerned. Heero wondered if Duo would get a notification. They were on assignment together.

Heero felt like a stiff drink and solitude to nurse his new wound. He knew where to find both. Something told him that Duo would have come to that conclusion as well.

Home. When Heero tossed his keys onto the table by the front door, he wasn't surprised to hear the vid down the hall in the grand living room. Mindless sports facts, the cheers of a crowd, and a play by play of a polo match did surprise him. Polo? Duo and polo were as mismatched as a cat and a salad.

Where had he heard that expression? Duo, Heero realized as he kicked off shoes and headed silently down the hall.

"Get a glass!" Duo's voice called to him. "We'll drink together."

Heero snagged a whiskey glass from a stand alone bar as he entered the living room. It was comfortingly large in his hand as he rounded the couch and found Duo sprawled on it, his own glass in hand and a bottle of something in the other. He motioned at Heero with the bottle.

"I was expecting you to refuse," Duo said with a chuckle as he made room for Heero on the couch and he sat. Duo poured a brown liquid into Heero's glass and his hand wasn't steady. "Always took you for a... a..." He motioned with the bottle again and gave up as he settled back into plush cushions. He was still wearing a hospital gown with a pair of baby blue boxers.

"I drink when it's appropriate," Heero replied as he thought about Duo's lack of clothing and concluded that they had tried to keep him at the medical center by refusing to give him his clothes.

"This is appropriate, I guess," Duo said with a heavy nod. "You were shitcanned from being a pilot and I... well, I'm just some fucked up experiment."

"Classified medication," Heero said and then took a small sip of his drink. Whiskey. It burned as he took a larger drink.

"Of course I hacked and found out what they were giving me," Duo reported smugly, but then looked pissed again. "They were messing with my memory. They really don't want me to remember something." He took another large swallow of his drink. "Nobody likes to wake up and find out that someone burned holes in his brain with chemicals. They won't get a chance to shoot me up again. I'll leave Preventers, first."

Leave Preventers? The thought chilled Heero. After the war he had been at loose ends. Preventers had grounded him and given him purpose.

"Don't look like that, Heero," Duo said softly and patted Heero's knee cap gently. "I know what Preventers does for you. Maybe you won't pilot, but you'll find something else to do for them. I'm good where ever I am, though. I'm used to landing on my feet running."

Heero could see Duo fitting in where ever he went. Heero couldn't see himself doing anything that didn't require a gun and went hand in hand with violence. Preventers was the only organization on the right side of the law that could provide that.

Duo was suddenly moving. Heero braced himself in time to take Duo's body on top of his own. Bottle still in one hand and drink in the other, they sank back until Heero was lying prone and Duo was looking blearily into his face. One eye was slightly dilated. His face was flushed, several scars standing out sharply in white relief. Heero reached and put his glass on the floor.

"Let's fuck," Duo slurred, alcohol breath attesting that he had started drinking long before Heero had arrived.

Duo started to kiss Heero. Heero put a hand on the man's forehead and stopped him. Duo put his weight on that hand but didn't push. "Not while you're drunk," Heero growled. He didn't ask Duo to get off, though. His weight felt good, almost comforting against his body.

"Drunk sex is the best. No regrets if you can't remember what you did," Duo chuckled.

The bottle dropped from his hand. Heero caught it deftly and set it down on the floor. The glass was next, sloshing a bit as he worked it out of Duo's hand and put it down next to the bottle. Still Holding Duo away from his face with his other hand, they finally stilled and stared at each other.

"Why not?" Duo asked. "Don't you want to flip me over, yank down my shorts, and slam that...you know?... Get in there and make me feel it?"

"What?" Heero frowned at him.

Duo sighed, giving Heero a strong dose of alcohol. "You are asexual, aren't you?"

Heero moved his hand and Duo, instead of attempting to finish his kiss, lowered his head to the crook of Heero's neck. Stray hairs tickled Heero's nose. He rubbed them away.

"I'm not sexy, am I?" Duo sounded depressed.

"If you're going to cry, I'll dump you and go to the other room," Heero warned.

"You don't want me," Duo continued, but sounded sleepy, now.

"Don't be stupid."

"I'm not stupid... wait... are you saying I'm wrong?"

"Stupid."

Duo laughed and then relaxed completely. He was asleep soon after.

Heero snagged a pillow and tucked it under his own head to make himself more comfortable. He thought about not being a pilot any longer. He thought about what he might do now. He thought about Duo leaving and becoming something other than a Preventer agent. The polo match droned on like white noise. Heero realized that he didn't want Duo to go. He didn't want to stop seeing his ridiculous evil imp grin and feeling the sting of his acute personal observations. Preventers might ground him, but Heero considered that Duo might ground him as well.

Heero felt an urge to roll Duo and have his way. It felt like basest instinct. He could feel the hot, hard rise in his pants, trapped underneath Duo. Heero could imagine shoving into Duo, and wanted it acutely.

Someone in the polo match scored and the crowd went wild. Heero turned his head and found himself wondering, again, why Duo had chosen it. They were in Milliardo Peacecraft's home. The man loved Polo, as Heero recalled. The man was paying for their upkeep, paying the servants to clean up after them.

Heero felt his desire cool, drenched in the ice water of reality. Maybe Duo had lied and there had been something between him and the ex Prince of Sanq? His eyes focused on the players. Rich sons of rich fathers and rich nations. He and Duo were like scavengers on the fringes of their leavings, Heero felt. They were feasting, but only through Peacecraft's good graces. If he withdrew it, they would both end up in Preventer barracks, with nothing but what they could carry in a duffel.

Heero didn't like to owe anyone. They needed to move, he felt, already deciding that Duo would go with him. After they were secure in their own home, he felt, then maybe he could explore his need for Duo and perhaps find out why that need was so strong.

Heero hooked an arm and leg around Duo to keep him from sliding off and then pried his handheld computer from his pocket. As Duo slept, he searched for appropriate homes.

-----------------------------------------

A week later found them in a home that was up for sale.

"It's high elevation,has a hot tub, a wet bar, a fireplace, wooden floors, oversized bathroom, and its impossible to see from the road."

Duo had his arms crossed as he glared around the living room. "Its on the side of a mountain. When it snows we'll never get a car up that goat track you call a private driveway. Its a lot smaller than Milliardo's place. The hot tub is small, too, and we have to clean it. There won't be anyone cleaning up after us and maintaining the place."

Heero nodded and headed for the front door. Duo stopped him with a sigh.

"Where are you going?" Duo asked in exasperation.

"I have five more homes that fit your criteria," Heero informed him.

"I want this one."

Heero turned and frowned. "This is acceptable?"

"It is already furnished," Duo replied as he flopped down on a leather chair by the stone fireplace. "The decor is better too. Nothing I can't understand. All simple and manly."

Heero looked around them briefly at the red leather furniture, the sheep wool rug, and the thick wooden dining room table. There were three bedrooms, a den, and an office as well, all with the same basic cabin decor feel to them.

"Do you like it?" Duo asked.

"It's a place. It is only necessary for you to live here for me to like it," Heero replied as he emailed the realtor and wired the money. His bank account took a large hit, but his needs were simple. A Preventer paycheck was far more than he needed each month.

Duo blinked at him and then grinned. "You are a romantic. Are you going to buy it?"

"I already have."

"Then how much rent money do I owe you?"

"None."

Duo's fingers tapped on the red leather of his chair arm and he looked annoyed. "Do you want sex, then?"

"Yes, but not for rent," Heero replied as he turned and headed for the front door.

"Why are you leaving, then?" Duo was out of his chair and following him, sounding confused.

"I'm getting our bags out of the car."

"Then we'll have sex?"

Heero paused with his hand on the doorknob as he considered the prospect. "No," he replied and left Duo imitating a fish.

Duo called after him, as Heero opened the trunk of their car in the rocky driveway, "Then when will this sex occur? Just so I'm ready when you are?"

Heero closed the trunk and carried the bags inside. Duo took his, using both hands and wincing as his still healing body protested. Heero passed him with his own bag and headed for his chosen bedroom. "I haven't decided on a time table," Heero finally replied.

Heero wasn't prepared for Duo's bag to slam into his back. He staggered and went down on one knee. Duo's sudden weight took him down the rest of the way and he lay flat on the wooden floor, his own bag sliding with the momentum across the floor towards the bedrooms. Duo lay full length on his back and said in his ear, "We're going to stop playing games, Heero! I'm taking you right here and now."

Hero propped himself up on his elbows and looked sideways at Duo speculatively. "Against my will?"

"That's not fucking likely, is it?" Duo retorted. "I was hoping that I could make you WANT to have sex."

"We have night maneuvers with the trainees," Heero reminded him. "You need to be at optimum."

"If I'm topping, I will be," Duo promised with a grin.

Heero was silent, considering, and then relaxed his chin on his hands. "I agree."

Duo was silent as his smile slowly left his face and then he was rolling and lying on the floor beside Heero, his braid snaking along the polished wood as if framing them both. His purple eyes were very serious. "What do you want? Just tell me. I just want to know that I'm waiting for something that IS going to eventually happen."

Heero didn't know how to answer him. He wasn't used to that level of confusion. "I can't predict the future."

"Oh," Duo said, as if understanding everything. "You want to know if this is the right move, if this is the best of all possibilities."

"Life is short," Heero replied.

Duo didn't argue that point. They both were feeling like men twice their age. They couldn't know how many years the war had taken off of their lives. "I'm waiting for you to decide that I'm worth the time?"

"I'm not that cold," Heero replied.

"Sorry," Duo apologized and then lightly touched Heero's cheek as if afraid of sudden retaliation.

Heero leaned into that touch, closing his eyes and trying to analyze why that touch only meant something coming from Duo's fingers. "It's not all about sex."

Heero could feel Duo's fingers tense and then he slowly lowered his hand. "I know it's not. I just can't help pushing things along. I want it too badly."

Heero stood up with difficulty, feeling fresh bruises and a floor burned kneecap. Duo stayed on the floor, propped on one arm and looking up at him.

"I want to know if this is what's best for the both of us," Heero was finally able to clarify.

"When you decide, let me know," Duo told him.

Heero nodded, but then changed the subject as he retrieved his bag. "I'll be ready for maneuvers."

"I'll try to be ready," Duo laughed as he finally stood up.

He would go whether he was ready or not, Heero thought as he entered his room and began unpacking his bag. Clothes went neatly into a drawer, extra guns, bullets, and several knives were set out on top of the dresser. He checked the guns even though he knew they were in perfect working order. It was a habit he couldn't let go of from his long life of always being one step ahead of death. His favorite gun never left the holster at the small of his back.

A fleeting voice criticized him for allowing Duo to tackle him, for giving him the perfect opportunity to take that gun. Heero was confident that he could have stayed in control of the situation, but there was always the chance that something unforeseen could have given Duo an edge over him. A split second to pull his gun... but Heero was certain that Duo had his own. It was useless paranoia to worry about access to his when that was definitely the case.

Heero checked his knee and grimaced. It hadn't liked that fall. It was bruised, burned from the wooden floor, and swelling a bit around the knee. He hated how fragile his body had become, how easily it was to lose his hundred percent efficiency. He needed that knee. He was expected to run night drills with the trainees while Duo gave them orders via communications.

Heero swallowed a few of his anti-inflammatory drugs dry and then stretched out on his bunk to rest the knee until it was time to leave for the training grounds.

Duo made some noises in the kitchen, the clatter of a plate and silverware coming down the hallway. There wouldn't be much there, just the bare bones that the previous owner must have left behind. They would have to restock all the necessities. It was going to be odd shopping for domestic items with Duo. That was something that lovers did, Heero had heard.

Duo's questions had been valid ones. What did Heero want? Yes, validation that being together was best for both of them, but a strong emotion, that Heero was unfamiliar with, told him that incompatibility and career goals weren't going to enter in to any real decision about whether they should try a relationship.

Then why wait? Why not, finally, allow himself to take what Duo was so strongly offering him?

Duo appeared in Heero's doorway and leaned against the jam. "We need to shop for some things... food at the top of the list. Want to take a trip to the store after maneuvers, darling?"

Duo said 'darling' in a joking manner. Heero stared at him for a long moment and Duo finally frowned.

"What?"

How to ask? How to explain to Duo what he was feeling? How to let go of the man he had become, the man who wanted everything in a report that was clear, concise, and with clear cut results. He wanted. He felt strong emotions. He felt... out of control.

Duo sighed and moved to sit on the bed. He bent to the task of rubbing Heero's injured knee gingerly. His fingers avoided the burn and the bruise and concentrated on the wrenched muscle.

"You don't have to say it, you know?" Duo told him softly. "Actions speak louder than words."

"Is it really what you want?" Heero breathed, feeling pleasure so keen that it was hard to stop himself from groaning.

"It's what I've always wanted, since you stood in that cell doorway and rescued me during the war. I knew then that you had a heart. I wasn't sure until then."

Duo shrugged, but his fingers never paused in their kneading as he continued, "We've both been a mess, though. We had to put distance between ourselves and our former lives. It wouldn't have worked any sooner than this."

"Why not?"

"Because we didn't need each other before now," Duo explained. "It's time to slow down, time to step aside for younger soldiers, and time to see how the other half lives, the half that can love and live with someone besides a buster rifle."

"And if Une wasn't lying about the possibility that you could be a sleeper agent?" Heero asked.

Duo's hands paused and then he chuckled as he continued, "I know my own mind. They can't erase everything with chemicals."

Heero had trouble understanding and then he thought that he did. "You could remember, if you wanted to?"

"Yes," Duo replied, but he was looking pinched with stress at the thought. "It's hard to want that, though, when everyone tells me that I might not stay sane if I remember. So, I'm left with a blank when I could discover, for certain if they planted any subliminal programming. Une thinks it's worth the risk.... well, as long as I have you as my watch dog."

Heero checked his watch. They had time. He reached out and took Duo's hand from his knee. Slowly, as Duo's eyes widened in surprise and then in anticipation, he pulled Duo down for a kiss.

Heero knew what a man did during sex. He kissed, practiced lengthy foreplay, and then either topped or bottomed if other forms of friction weren't enough. He could follow the numbers. He wasn't a virgin.

Duo straddled him, hissing at the pain of aching muscles and grafts. He wasn't following the numbers. He was pulling down his pants, reaching back to free Heero's hard erection, and then slowly forcing it inside of him with thrusts and rolls of his hips, all the while kissing Heero open mouthed.

Duo grimaced in pain, but Heero was drooling precum and Duo was using it to ease the way. His own erection was bobbing in reach. Thick, but not long, it was still a handful that had Heero feeling an odd ache as he took hold of it. He wanted it inside of him. He'd never experienced a desire to bottom before. He wasn't sure how to ask for that.

Seated fully and looking pleased with himself, Duo grinned down at Heero, braid snaking down and coiling on Heero's chest. "How's that?" he wondered.

Heero's cell rang. He frowned, every synapse of his brain centered on the tight sheath of Duo's ass.

Duo grabbed the cell out of Heero's pocket and answered it. "Maxwell."

Heero couldn't keep still. His hips slowly rose and pushed deeper into Duo. Duo grunted and looked down at Heero as his smile turned into a frown of concern.

"We're on it!" Duo replied to whomever he was speaking to and then let the phone drop on Heero's chest. It hit painfully.

Duo lifted himself off of Heero, making Heero's erection snap and bob. He hitched up his pants and fastened them as he explained, "Time for action, fly-boy! One of our trainees decided to cheat and check out the course ahead of time. He's in need of rescue."

"Fuck!" Heero swore as he rose with difficulty and struggled to get his pants back into place over an erection that was quickly going down.

"Remember our place," Duo told him irritably. "I'm going to finish what I started."

------------------------------------

Agents and trainees stared up at a vertical cliff face in the bright sunlight that bent outward at the top and looked impossible to scale. It wasn't real rock, but as close as one could be manufactured. Safety lines hung from the top, harness already snapped in place;ready for the day's training session. The agent who was now unconscious far above them hadn't used one. He was hanging in the barbed wire that barred the way the last few feet of the climb.

"You expected someone to actually scale that barrier?" one of the agents asked Duo and Heero as they approached. "A trainee agent?"

Duo reached into a pocket and took out a pair of wire cutters. He handed them to Heero and Heero pocketed them in his stretch climbing shorts. "That would be brainless."

"They been training on smaller climbs," Heero said on the heels of that. "They are all capable of a climb of this level."

The agent nodded up at the unconscious trainee. "Not all of them."

"With the proper equipment," Duo retorted as he and Heero pulled on climbing gloves. He motioned Heero to follow him. "Let's get this done."

"Once you cut away the wire, we'll drop a line from a hover ship to pull him out and transport him to medical," the agent informed them.

Duo made an impatient wave of dismissal. "Don't need one. There's enough lines."

"I don't understand-" The man stopped talking as he saw Duo stand at the bottom of the rock; bend a knee slightly, and cup hands above his head.

Heero ignored stiff, aches and pains, as he lightly stepped up Duo's body as if it were a ladder. His weight never rested on any point for more than a few seconds as he used Duo's knee, shoulder, and hands before he was grasping rock high above them. He tilted a foot out and Duo ran at the wall. His foot hit an invisible bump in the rock and he used that to push upward to grab Heero's foot. Swinging on it, he released one hand and reached as high as he could to find a handhold. Hanging by that, he secured his other hand to a dangling rope that stretched up to the barbed wire barrier.

"Got it!" he announced. "Your show, Heero."

Heero climbed as swiftly as he could manage, Hating when fingers cramped and twisted and he had to pause to shake them out. Almost to the top, that cramping became very problematic.

"Fucking fingers!" Heero snarled. "Work!"

It wasn't a matter of forcing them, because no amount of will would get them to untwist. they had to relax on their own before Heero could continue. Each pause took longer, but Heero eventually reached the safety lines and unhooked them one by one. Tying them together, he let the heavy weight drop.

Duo had attached himself to the safety rope and he swung and twirled as he caught the ropes. Heero wasn't certain what it was costing him, but Duo didn't fail to hold onto the ropes as Heero cut the barbed wire and pulled himself into the basket of sharp tines that held the trainee. Grabbing Duo's rope, he began hauling Duo and his ropes upward.

When Duo reached the top and Heero pulled him through, hair and shirt catching on the tines, the trainees below cheered.

"So,"Duo wondered, "How many of them do you think were standing around when genius here decided to try the cliff face on her own?"

Genius was Polente. Sprawled on her back, it was obvious that she had fallen from the top of the cliff while deploying the rope over the barbed wire to use to repel downward. she was covered in barbed wire gauges and scratches. Her eyes were open and watching Heero and Duo with an expression of pain and acute embarrassment.

"Hurt your back?" Duo wondered as he crouched by her and began tying ropes around her body in an intricate harness.

"Yes," she replied and then, "Sorry, sirs."

"You should be!" Heero began heatedly as he tied the lines to secure points on the wire barrier.

Duo cut him off. "You should be," he echoed, but with more humor. "You just made two old men climb up after you and you interrupted some hot sex."

She looked guilty now and even more embarrassed. "I'm very sorry, sirs." Then it occurred to her that Duo was not one hundred percent. "Your injuries, sir?"

"I know how not to stress anything," Duo replied, brushing off her concern. He tested the ropes. "Now, let's get you out of here."

"Airlift?" Polente asked.

Standard procedure. Heero frowned and shook his head. "Wind from the south kicking up dirt and creating lower level turbulence. Down thrust will also cause this basket of wire to swing and twist."

"You don't want to be a pincushion, do you, agent Polente?" Duo asked with a comforting grin.

"No sir," she replied and then her eyes tracked to the top of the cliff. She smiled suddenly.

"You made it, agent," Duo said with sure knowledge. "That was well done."

Heero grunted as he rolled barbed wire and secured it by twisting more wire into it. "She was supposed to work with her fellow agents in a team action. Attempting the climb alone was a failure of the exercise."

"You do realize that, right Agent Polente?" Duo asked in concern.

"Yes, sir," she replied.

"Then I can praise her for the effort," Duo said to Heero. "Maybe it was wrong, but she made it and that's saying a hell of a lot for her ability."

Heero picked her up and she sobbed with pain. "If this were a real situation, she would stay there until she died."

Duo untwisted lines and shrugged. "She might have recovered enough on her own to repel down. Adrenaline can do a lot, right Heero? Isn't that how you made it up here?"

"Fuck you!" Heero ground out.

"I was hoping you would, but later," Duo chuckled. He leaned his weight against the lines to keep them untangled and nodded at Heero. "Ready."

"Roger that," Heero replied and then slowly let Polente's body down over the wire. He joined Duo on the lines then and they slowly lowered Polente to the ground. A shout let them know when she was in safe hands.

The ropes went slack as Polente was taken off of them.

"Race you?" Duo asked, his grin almost manic.

Heero wanted to curse him and call him a childish idiot, but he never could turn down a challenge. He nodded, once, and then they were both throwing themselves over the side of the wire while hands tangled in the dangling lines. They swung wildly, stabilized, and then began repelling downward swiftly.

Duo made it down first and everyone on the ground gave an amazed cheer, even the medics who were stabilizing Polente for a trip to medical.

"As my prize for getting down first, I get to set the punishment," Duo told them over their cheers. They all fell silent. "For ignoring a dangerous situation , six laps through obstacle course Alpha seven." When they stared, he barked, "Now!"

Bodies began pushing through the crowd and the trainees sprinted for the field.

Heero saw Duo look up at him and he wasn't smiling now as Heero finally touched his feet to the Earth. "We're going to medical, too," Duo told him. "They must be able to do something about those joints of yours."

Heero tried not to shove Duo away from everyone as he took them to find privacy further up field. He said, then, tensely, "I did everything they suggested. They can lessen the pain, but the damage is done. They can't turn back the clock, Maxwell."

Duo glared. "You almost fucked me, Heero. I think we're beyond Maxwell."

Heero swallowed and nodded. "Duo... "

Duo sighed and raked fingers through his hair. "Look, not here. Let's save it for when we're back at the house. We have trainees to discipline."

Duo turned and stumbled. He caught his balance and then began walking towards obstacle course Alpha Seven. The climb hadn't been easy on either of them, but stubbornness had made them both attempt it. Like Polente's unauthorized climb, Heero thought, they had done something very foolish. Heero wasn't certain that he could learn from that mistake, though. He wasn't certain that he could stop pushing his body past its new limitations. He wasn't certain that Duo could either.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Heero was unclear about his current situation. The day was over and dinner was eaten and cleaned up. He was sitting on the couch with Duo and watching a vid show. Heero wasn't certain what it was about and he didn't care to expend energy finding out. He had taken his medication but his joints were still aching, especially his knees. They hadn't liked being pushed that hard. Duo was a presence, but not a communicative one. there was a cushion between them and that cushion seemed like a wall.

What was permitted? What did Heero want? What did Duo want? How deep was their new relationship? Duo had promised to finish sex, but he wasn't suggesting it now and Heero wasn't sure what to say to initiate it.

"I heard from Milliardo," Duo said suddenly. He didn't look at Heero. There was a slight frown on his face.

Heero tried to recall when they had been apart that day. Duo had gone for energy drinks. "On your cell?" Heero asked.

Duo nodded. He didn't offer more than that.

Heero was thinking about how tight and warm Duo had been inside. There had to be words that he could say... a gesture... that would get them off of the couch and into the bedroom.

"Not the jealous type?" Duo wanted to know at last.

Heero had missed a prompt He sighed in frustration. "I don't want him fucking you."

Duo did look at him then and snorted laughter. "That's... blunt."

Duo liked that.

"I want to fuck you," Heero announced.

"Here?" Duo wondered, still looking amused.

Heero thought about his aching knees and decided, "No, in the bedroom. This is too uncomfortable."

"Not if I'm on top," Duo suggested.

"Bedroom," Heero insisted.

They went to the bedroom then, shedding their clothes casually as they went. Heero's erection was already full and bobbing as he walked. Duo's wasn't. He didn't seem hesitant or uninterested. He climbed onto the bed and sprawled on his back, giving Heero an encouraging smile.

He should get condoms... lubrication... Heero paused, considering it, but Duo lifted his knees and spread his legs invitingly.

"You have enough lube dripping out of their, Darling." Duo nodded to Heero's oozing erection. "I like it a little rough, too."

Heero wasn't sure what happened next. He was on Duo, shoving the man's knees up and pushing into him. He thrust hard repeatedly with enough force to make their bodies slap against each other as he lay on top of Duo. Duo was so warm and deep, so hard under him, yet soft in places as well. Heero was rocked by an orgasm and he made sure he planted it deep in Duo. It hadn't taken long, but it had been very satisfying.

"Owe," Duo said, but he didn't sound in real pain or upset. "How long have been saving that one up?"

"Years," Heero panted back.

"Payback is hell," Duo said and he rolled and pulled Heero along with him.

Duo was hard, now, and he was just as unmerciful as he brought Heero up on hands and knees and shoved a precum slicked cock into him. Pain spiked along Heero's spine and he grunted as he lowered his face into the pillow. Duo rode him. He loosened, became slicker, and Heero felt primal excitement and a pleasure that was unexpected.

Duo shot his load and pulled out just as quickly. He collapsed onto his back beside Heero, breathing hard. Heero turned on his side and watched Duo's expression.

"What the hell was that?" Duo asked softly.

It was a concerned question. He was sorry about the sex. Heero felt the aching slickness of his own ass and decided it was going to impact his effectiveness the next day. He knew Duo wasn't talking about that, though.

"I don't know," Heero replied honestly.

"Are we angry?" Duo wanted to know. "Did we want to fuck each other hard because... because we want to punish each other?"

"Are you angry with me?" Heero asked simply.

Duo was thoughtful. "No," he replied at last. "You?"

"No," Heero replied.

"Maybe we shouldn't think about it? Maybe... we just needed to get it out of our system....Like..." Duo gave up.

"You talk too much," Heero replied.

Duo leaned over and kissed Heero. "Sorry."

Heero felt tired, and ready to sleep for awhile, but something else needed to be said. "We don't take things easy."

Was that a good explanation? Maybe there weren't words? Maybe they couldn't be other than quick, hard, and intense? Was it a bad thing? Heero didn't feel any regret, just a sore ass.

"I'm fine," Heero told Duo, and saw by Duo's relief that he had said the right thing.

"So am I," Duo assured him and grinned. "Not saying I want that all the time, but it was... hot."

They were quiet then, both of them satisfied that they hadn't made a mistake.

"I don't want Milliardo fucking you," Heero suddenly repeated, that last detail unwilling to let him rest. He needed Duo to know how strongly he felt about that.

"It wasn't about fucking," Duo growled. He turned, pushed himself up against Heero, and curled up around his pillow. Heero enjoyed the feel of Duo against his chest. "He wanted me to try and find more triggers. He thinks that might tell them something about how messed up I am."

"Then he isn't in the loop," Heero mused as he decided how to hold Duo against him.

"Guess not," Duo replied as he took hold of Heero's arms and wrapped them around him. "Nobody gave him a head's up that I'm supposed to stay clueless about what happened to me."

"They will," Heero replied.

"I'm sure."

"What do you want?" Heero felt himself getting hard against Duo again, despite the fact that he felt exhausted.

"I don't know any more," Duo sighed and then said, "Milliardo also called me a dick for not giving him time to find a new 'security system' for his home. He doesn't understand why we gave up free rent in a home most people dream about owning."

Heero tried to imagine Milliardo saying 'dick' and couldn't. "I don't want to talk about him any longer."

He didn't have to see Duo smile to know that he was. "You are jealous."

"I want you," Heero replied and his arms pulled Duo tighter against him.

"I can feel that," Duo chuckled, "but I'm sore. That's a good reason not to go at it so rough the next time."

"There are other reasons, but I didn't mean sex."

"Oh." Duo was quiet and thoughtful and then he said, "I want you too. Milliardo doesn't have a chance."

Duo was warm and solid in Heero's arms. His feelings were suddenly very clear to him and the confusion dropped away. "This is love."

"Yeah," Duo replied.

It didn't require that they say anything else. Just the feeling was enough. Together they were two halves of a whole; a powerful force. Apart, they drifted and were lonely and uncertain about their future. Heero had never felt that way about anyone before and he didn't want to feel that way about anyone but Duo.

Heero's personal life was in order, now. His professional life and Duo's mysterious captivity was another thing. It felt strange to realize that, because of Duo, he had all the confidence in the world that, no matter what happened, everything would resolve itself for the better.

---------------------------------

"I told you that there was nothing they could do," Heero said as they left the medical building.

Duo pointed out, as he put hands in his coat pockets and led the way down a street filled with small restaurants and shops,"They gave you a different medication and suggested some injections of bio gel to cushion your knee joints. I don't call that nothing, especially when Preventer medical only offered you drugs that wouldn't have worked on a four year old and a pep talk."

Heero didn't remind Duo that their car was in the medical building's car park. Duo had a purpose and Heero couldn't think of a reason to stop him. They weren't due on the training field until the next morning and his knees, for once, didn't mind the walk. The drugs were helping and they weren't impairing his reaction time like the old medication. Still, he had been warned that feeling good and being good were two different things. He still needed to minimize any further damage to his joints.

Duo was wearing a black long coat with the sleeves rolled up, black jeans, ankle boots, and a shirt that said, where's the party? Heero knew it meant, where's the battle, but most people wouldn't. Duo's long braid was a bit messy, swinging in an untidy braid as he walked. He looked sixteen again and Heero found a small smile on his lips, remembering the previous night and how Duo had revealed his flexibility, despite his injuries, in interesting ways. He was definitely not a child and definitely not inhibited.

Heero was wearing a drab, olive Preventer t-shirt and khaki jeans. Combined with his rugged, well worn combat boots and dog tags, he breathed military. Duo had sighed when he had seen what he intended to wear, but he hadn't suggested Heero change. Duo didn't need military style clothing to advertise that he was a soldier and therefore dangerous. It was in the way he carried himself and the way his eyes automatically scanned everything around them, looking for trouble.

"A toy store?" Heero asked as he stopped and stared at the door to the shop.

Duo had the door open as he turned and gestured Heero to proceed him. He was smiling broadly. "Yes, a toy store. I have an idea how to get our physically challenged agents in training to improve their hand/eye coordination. Little balls, hand games, hackeysack..."

"Non issue equipment?"

Duo rolled his eyes. "Yes, non issue equipment. In case you haven't noticed, our trainees are all non issue."

Heero frowned. "I'll wait."

Duo looked exasperated."Why?"

"I'm not a child," Heero replied.

Duo rolled his eyes and left him on the sidewalk. The truth was harder to reveal. During attempts at therapy early after the war, Heero had been taught that some things were emotional triggers. It was why he couldn't stand puppies, young children, and some types of flowers. Not only did they remind him of horrible episodes in his life, but they also reminded him of painful things that his youth had lacked. He didn't want to be reminded that he had trained as an assassin when most children had been experimenting with finger paints and playing on playgrounds. A toy store would be rife with triggers.

The door to the shop swung open and a clerk with a cell phone stepped onto the sidewalk looking frantically around. Children and their parents streamed out after her looking anxious. The parents were holding the children tightly.

"He just went nuts!" the clerk was saying in the cell phone. "I need someone here, now, before he ruins my business! Dangerous? I don't know. He crawled under a counter yelling over and over, I'll tell you want you want, just stop hurting them! No, I don't know what that means."

Heero ran into the shop, gun coming out of its holster at the small of his back. "Duo?" he shouted. Duo had his own triggers, but Heero never imagined that a trip into a toy store might be one of them.

A table had turned over, plush animal toys all over the floor. A bag full of balls and toss bags was on the floor near a cash register. Heero recognized Duo's wallet on the floor next to them, open and askew, cash half out and change scattered.

"Maxwell?" Heero tried as he slowly approached the back of the store and a table covered in children's books. Some of them had tumbled over and were on the floor. The space under the table was shadowed, but he could just make out the tail of Duo's coat. "It's Heero, Maxwell," Heero replied. "Watch your fire."

Heero slowly crouched, gun pointed at his lover. He wasn't certain if he would shoot, but training wouldn't allow him to approach an armed man any other way. He could see a shadow facing away from him, tucked into the corner as if hiding.

"I don't want to see!" Duo exclaimed, his voice trembling with emotion. "I don't want to see! Don't make me look! Don't! I don't want to see! Tell me what to say! I'll tell you anything! Just ask me something. Ask me! Tell me what to do to make you stop."

He sounded like a broken man. His image of Duo, proof against any torture, shattered. Duo had been compromised. Whatever they had done to Duo, it had been above and beyond anything he had experienced before. It was obvious that he had told his captors everything they had wanted to know.... but in exchange for what? For not tazing him again? Heero couldn't believe that to be the extent of the coercion. The clerk had said...

"Stop hurting them!" Duo begged in a pathetic voice that was mostly sobs. "You don't have to hurt them."

Them. Heero knew that Duo had fought for revenge during the war, but he had often told Heero that he had also fought so that others wouldn't have to. Heero recalled him risking a great deal, even his life on several occasions, to protect civilians. Especially children.

Children. Toy store. Heero understood with sudden clarity that made his gut clench. If a child didn't get the toy that he wanted, he was most likely going to cry about it. If Duo's trigger was children crying...

Heero shut down the speculation about why that might be so. He had to keep a clear head. He had to get Duo under control before the man decided that he was not bound and that he was armed and capable of saving children from danger... even memories of children.

"Maxwell, I need you on my six!" Heero barked. "Respond!"

Instinct. Love. Training. Whatever it was, Duo responded at once. He floundered, rolled out from under the table, and had his gun up and nosing for a target as he moved to Heero's side in a crouch. His pupils were blown, his skin pale, and his hands were shaking.

Heero heard footsteps behind them, probably officers coming through the front door to handle a situation they were unprepared for. He had a second to act and he hated the one option left to him. His fist shot out and took Duo in the jaw. The man hit the floor, unconscious, gun still in his hand.

"Don't move!" an officer ordered loudly. Heero held up his hands and didn't turn. A man approached slowly and took his gun.

"Preventer ID in my back pocket," Heero informed him. The man dug for it and pulled it out.

"It's legit!" the man called to someone else and then to Heero, "Mind telling me what the hell's going on agent?"

"I'll tell you as soon as I find out," Heero growled and checked Duo's pulse.

-------------------------------------

"Crying children?" Une sighed as she handed Heero back his palm computer. Sitting at her office desk, she steepled her fingers and looked very hard at nothing.

"He didn't become violent," Heero replied, "But there wasn't enough observation time to determine if he might have escalated into violence."

"You nearly broke his jaw," Une commented as if her thoughts were not on that subject at all.

Heero rubbed at his still sore knuckles. One was swollen and purple. "I needed to make certain that he would go down."

"And how do you feel about that?" Une asked, her eyes suddenly focusing on Heero with the penetration of a laser.

Heero felt measured minutely as he replied, "I didn't want to hurt, Duo. If I had been given proper intelligence, that particular trigger could have been avoided."

"To what end?" Une wondered. "Shouldn't we discover all of Duo's triggers, to keep the public safe?"

"Children were at risk," Heero argued angrily.

"Were they?" Une asked bluntly, a slim eyebrow raising over the rim of her glasses.

Heero evaluated his memory of the incident. "No," he amended."Not the children, but anyone who might have appeared to be a threat."

"Not you?" Une pressed.

"No," Heero agreed.

Une was silent. Heero shifted feet impatiently.

"We found him hanging like a side of beef in an empty warehouse," Une explained. "They tortured him. We found evidence that children had been there. They wanted us to know that, but nothing else. The lab is still trying to find DNA evidence, but they scrubbed everything down, including Duo. What he remembers, Yuy, is of great interest to us, but only if it doesn't break him. We're walking in a minefield, trying to gather clues."

Heero admitted, "He knows you're drugging him, but he says that he can remember when ever he chooses."

"Betraying confidences?" Une asked, but she didn't look surprised. "How do you feel about that?"

"How I feel matters?" Heero asked with a frown.

"Very much so," Une replied. She picked up a pen and tapped it on her desk. "You understand Duo more than anyone else, I believe. How you deal with him, how you react emotionally, can determine how this will all play out."

"What is your objective?"

"To find out who did this," Une replied as she tossed the pen onto the desk with a clatter and sighed. "To find out if I can save the man while rooting out whether he's been compromised."

"He's stronger than you believe," Heero said challengingly.

"He's weaker than you believe," Une replied sadly. "Stop seeing the man who fought a war with you, Yuy, and see the man who may have reached his limit."

"Why the secrecy?" Heero demanded. "Mistakes were made."

"I don't consider them mistakes," Une replied. "I consider them insights."

"I don't understand what you expect from me," Heero snarled. "I want all the facts."

"You said that he knows them already, if he chooses to remember them," Une reminded him. "Maybe he hasn't chosen to tell you."

"Are you still considering him a mole, or was that a lie?" Heero demanded.

"Not a lie, just one part of the whole," Une replied and then made a dismissing gesture. "He needs you to watch him carefully, especially in medical. They're keeping him under until you go there to take him home."

"I don't think that we can train the agents under these circumstances," Heero complained. "Duo doesn't need that kind of responsibility now."

"You're wrong," Une replied. "He needs it like a man needs water. I'm sure you know that very well."

She was done, opening her computer and going over files as if Heero didn't exist any longer. Heero turned on his heel and stalked out of her office, ignoring the agents in the outer offices as he left Preventer headquarters and entered medical.

He should have known better than to attempt to understand a woman who could spin a web of confusion and intrigue with the skill of a black widow spider.

-----------------------------------------

"Come here," Duo said and took hold of Heero's fingers. While their trainees tried to lay down fire and advance in a coordinated movement, while tossing small bean bags back and forth, he gently massaged Heero's knotted finger joints.

Duo had turned to watch the trainees while his fingers did wonders. Heero wasn't certain about showing that much intimacy in front of people, but he couldn't find the will to ask Duo to stop. His fingers had been bad that morning, chill and damp weather making the joints refuse to do anything that Heero needed them to accomplish. Duo was moving stiffly as well and he rubbed at certain muscles in his arms as if they pained him. That was the least of his problems, though.

Duo hadn't wanted his release forms from medical. He had insisted on being taken to a psychiatric unit and committed for the safety of the public. Heero had agreed with that assessment, but Une had only restricted his movements to the base and had ordered Duo to attend bi-weekly meetings with a psychiatrist. After that, he had been quiet and tense, their personal life regulated to eating meals together and relaxing in front of the vid. The man had refused Heero's tentative bids for intimacy. This was the first time Duo had chosen to touch him since his episode.

Milliardo Peacecraft had bad timing.

"Gentlemen," he said as he approached and stood beside them, surveying the trainees. His expression was serious, his pale brows drawn down over his ice blue eyes as he tried to decipher the training method being employed.

"They're clumsy," Duo announced without being asked or stopping his massage. "It's useless to take them any further if they can't walk a straight line and chew gum at the same time."

Milliardo nodded as if he perfectly understood that. His white blonde hair was tied in a braid. A scar marred the side of his neck and traveled for a few inches along his jaw. His tall frame didn't stand as straight as Heero remembered from the war. They were all getting older. They had been used and abused by the war and they were all still suffering.

"You need to learn to pull your strength, Yuy," Milliardo commented as if he were still talking about the trainees.

Heero glanced up at Duo and saw Duo's frown of annoyance. His lover's cheek was still ugly and swollen. Black and blue vied with red.

"I didn't break bones," Heero commented and Duo's eyes flicked away from the trainees to meet his briefly, before going back. He was clearly amused.

Heero had wondered, briefly, if his treatment of Duo in the toy shop had affected their relationship, but Duo had assured him, early on, that Heero had done what was necessary.

"Any residual problems?" Milliardo asked as several trainees went sprawling in a heap, cursing and shouting at each other.

"Watch your damned feet, Porter!" Duo shouted.

The trainees were up and running again and Duo sighed. He rubbed at the scar over his nose and frowned, "With them or with me?" Duo joked. "Me, I can handle. Them... I'm not sure anyone can. Une gave us an impossible order, I think."

It was the first time that Heero had heard Duo seriously doubt their ability to make the trainees into agents. Heero blinked in surprise. Why he should confide his doubt to Milliardo instead of him puzzled Heero.

Milliardo watched the trainees from his height and replied, "You didn't answer my question."

Duo finished his massage and let Heero' s hand drop. It felt almost like rejection and Heero chided himself for feeling that way. Duo was only frustrated, not angry at him. Still, Heero couldn't help feeling angry when Duo stepped closer to Milliardo and stood in his shadow. Looking up at the tall man he said, "Everyone knows there's residuals, Milli. What kind is the question of the day. Une knows something she isn't telling. My brain knows something it doesn't want to know. What do you know, Milli? What brings you out here to see me? Trying to make Heero jealous? I'm not a post you can mark with piss, you know. Nobody owns me because of a little fucking on the side."

Milliardo's blue eyes frowned down at Duo. "You may have been an interesting diversion, but I don't try to keep wolverines on a chain... even to piss on..."

Duo frowned, confused, and then snickered. "Too much for you?"

"Not for Yuy, it would seem," Milliardo replied tersely.

"Why are you here?" Heero demanded. He had suspected a relationship between the two, and it was comforting to know that it was long over, but he would always consider Milliardo Peacecraft his rival in all things.

"I don't like Une's methods," Milliardo explained, as if they hadn't just been talking about an old affair.

"She's waiting for me to do something," Duo agreed. "She wants to give me the slack, but keep me on a tight leash too. She can't have it both ways. Someone could get hurt... or killed."

"She wants to save you," Miilliardo told him bluntly.

"That's nice," Duo replied sourly, "but that doesn't really sound like her. More like, she wants what's buried deep in my head, because she hasn't been able to get to it herself. She thinks something will detonate the bomb for her if she lets me wander around long enough. Once she has what she wants, she can take me out... or Heero can. She knows he won't let something like love get in the way of blowing my brains out if it comes to it."

"She's right," Heero agreed thoughtfully and that self knowledge wasn't painful at all. He would mourn Duo, but a Duo gone rogue would have ceased to be the man he loved.

Milliardo looked skeptical at first and then slightly ill. "I believe you."

"I would hope that he would take me out," Duo interjected."I wouldn't want to be a puppet for the rest of my life."

"I've seen many terrible things during the war," Milliardo said. "I ordered some of those things to be carried out. They haven't defined me. I have left it behind."

"We grew up in it," Duo replied coldly. "It's who were are, Milli. We'll never leave it behind."

"I want updates," Milliardo said briskly, as if the conversation had become too painful for him. "Please keep me informed of any developments."

"Will do," Duo replied.

Milliardo strode away. Heero stared at Duo until Duo met his eyes. He grinned and gave a shrug. "Look," he said, "It wasn't worth telling you about. It was bad, drunk sex that I don't remember too well. He apparently remembers it fondly." Duo laughed.

Heero smiled, glad of the reassurance.

"You fucking moron!" Polente shouted as the trainees tangled and fell again.

Heero barked, "If you were on a real mission, you would all be dead! You are hopeless!"

Duo tisked and Heero looked at him. "Don't tell them that!"

"You told Milliardo, yourself, that they were hopeless," Heero pointed out.

"That's what he wanted to hear," Duo chuckled. "He'll spread that around. When we make these desk losers into real agents, it'll make it look even more impressive."

Heero laughed outright, then, and so did Duo. Just then, Duo seemed like his old self, and Heero almost couldn't hate Milliardo for shaking him out of his depression.

--------------------------------------------

Heero was there for support and to save the psychiatrist if Duo experienced an episode. Duo wasn't pleased to discuss his mental issues in front of Heero, but he knew that it was necessary. As a form of payback, Heero was expected to complete his therapy session at the same time. He also wasn't pleased to air his mental issues.

The psychiatrist assured them both that it would help in their relationship to know the deeper secrets that they carried in their psyche, but Heero and Duo both hated looking weak. It was ingrained behavior from the war, or, in Heero's case, even before the war. A teenager couldn't look like an easy target, or less than proficient in a military situation. Duo had cultivated an inhuman, deathdealing mentality that had made grown men fear him and Heero had been engineered and raised to excel as a soldier. His reputation had been enough to make men obey and respect him.

The light in the office was low and the chairs were comfortable. The psychiatrist had a recorder and was making notes on his tablet. He asked routine questions for the most part, easing into the darker subjects carefully. Heero noticed that he avoided any mention of children.

"Tell me about your current assignment, Duo," the man asked calmly. He was old and thin. He had an aristocratic nose and a soft sweater that made him look more suited to writing novels and reading poetry. Une couldn't have picked a more non-threatening person. "I recall that you were having trouble with the more physical aspects. They were causing you a high level of frustration."

"Depression, you mean?" Duo sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck. He was wearing loose jeans and an overlarge shirt that said, bombs away. "I'm learning my limits. Finding out some of it was permanent was hard to handle."

"Any anger issues?"

"With who, the doctors?" Duo considered it and then shrugged. "They did their best."

Heero knew that the doctor had been talking about the terrorists, but Duo had chosen not to go in that direction. The doctor allowed it.

"Has your injuries caused any intimacy issues?" the doctor asked bluntly.

Duo went a little red in the face and glanced briefly at Heero. "Not that I'm aware of."

"It's common to find a reduced libido at this time," the doctor explained. "You're dealing with medications, pain, rehabilitation.. There might also be feelings of inadequacy leading to avoidance issues."

Heero refused to even blink, allowing Duo the choice of whether to reveal that he was finding it hard to indulge in deeper intimacies.

Duo looked down at his hands in his lap and then slowly cracked knuckles. "I feel..." he coughed and tried again. "I feel like something really bad might happen. I might lose it."

"Have you 'lost it' before now?" the doctor wanted to know.

"No," Duo replied thoughtfully.

"Then I don't think, if you maintain your relationship as it is now, that losing control will be an issue."

Duo slumped a little and then grinned softly. "When you say it like that, it sounds simple. I feel stupid for worrying. It's not like... that kind of thing was part of... I mean..." he faltered and went pale. "I guess I shouldn't have worried."

Heero had gone tight in every muscle, wondering how close Duo would go to talking about his ordeal. He had insisted that he could remember when he chose to. It had almost felt as if he had decided to do just that. The fumbling pull back was frustrating.

Duo cracked his knuckles again and frowned. "I... I could let you fish around for an hour with a lot of questions, but maybe I should come clean about something. I feel like I'm depending too much on Heero. I feel as if he's the only one who could possibly stop me if I... lose it. Une seems to think so to."

The psychiatrist nodded. "I can see how dependency might worry you. Some relationships can become stressed when one partner feels burdened unfairly."

Heero thought about how Duo's massages had become an almost nightly ritual and how he had come to depend on them to loosen up his joints from the stresses of the day. The pills had stayed in their bottles except for really bad days, now.

"Duo, I'm sorry if I've been expecting too much in the evenings," Heero began, but Duo looked confused and then understanding. He reached out and squeezed Heero's hand. He let it go just as quickly as he said, "I like those sessions just as much as you do, Heero. Yeah, my arms and hands can hurt a little after, I won't lie, but knowing that I'm helping you makes it worth it."

"Knowing that I may be in a position to help you, doesn't bother me either," Heero said. "You are not a burden. I am where I wish to be."

Duo grinned at him. "I feel a lot better."

"That's good, Duo." The psychiatrist made notes and then flicked his notepad to Heero's file.

Heero was asked, like in every one of his previous sessions, about his childhood. The psychiatrist seemed infinitely fascinated by it and was certain that it colored everything in Heero's adulthood. It didn't, of course. The war had done far more to mold Heero, the man, than a childhood he remembered only as usual, yet necessary to his survival. During the war, he had learned far more about his emotions and caring about his fellow man.

When they were released from their ordeal at last and blinking at sunlight shinning on Preventer grounds, Duo said, "I thought that was good."

Heero shrugged. "I think your session was helpful."

Duo chuckled and it sounded sexy. He leaned into Heero and gave him a kiss. When he broke it he said, "I'll show you how much it helped tonight, all right?"

Heero felt an uncomfortable tightness in his pants. "I'll look forward to it."

----------------------------------------------

Duo was sitting on a top bunk, their trainees scattered on chairs in the open 'common' area beside it. They looked dejected Heero thought, hardly caring what Duo was going to say as they waited for him to find the worst points of their first training mission on his palm computer.

Duo hadn't even given them time to change out of their fatigues. They looked filthy, bloody, and on the edge of complete exhaustion. Some of them nursed cups of coffee as if it was the only thing keeping them upright. Heero could see them casting longing looks at the bunks beyond where Duo was sitting. Which is why he had decided to have their debriefing there. Once it was done, they could collapse.

Fuck it, anyway, Heero thought angrily. They had trained them and it had been like salt being rubbed into a wound when Une had made the call to assign a first year agent as their commander on the mission. Of course the man hadn't known a damned thing about any of them. Of course he hadn't relied on their strengths or allowed for their weaknesses despite the lengthy mission brief Heero and Duo had drawn up. The man had laughed at them and called them 'mother hens'. The commander was lucky that none of the trainees had come back on a stretcher, or worse, in a body bag. Heero was certain Duo would have left the commander bloody and knowing his mistake.

As for himself, Heero could muster some of his own seething anger at the situation. It seemed that the trainees had wormed their way past his gundanium defenses and had found a soft spot. It was small, though, Heero thought, and it wasn't very soft.

"Timik," Duo sighed as he finally looked up. "You were on point. What happened?"

Timik had a large bruise on one cheek and a wrapped up wrist. He stared at the floor between his legs and grumbled,"Ran into two guards, sir."

"What were you looking at, if you weren't looking for the enemy?" Duo wondered. He didn't sound angry. Heero detected frustration.

"Carmichael was trying to get the buster pack out of my gear, sir," Timik explained.

"Carmichael?" Duo looked at the man in question. He had one leg stuck out as if it pained him and a cut along one side of his face that was stitched. "I have a couple of what the fucks for you. Why wasn't the pack out already and why was Carmichael in charge of its use?"

"Last minute orders, sir," Timik explained and his anger seeped into his words. "We weren't given time to hand off the pack."

"So," Duo checked his palm computer, though Heero knew that he didn't need to reference it. He was just using it for effect. "My systems infiltration expert was point man and my usual point man was given the job of system infiltration. You handed off the pack of infiltration equipment in hot territory and were surprised by the enemy... when it shouldn't have been a surprise."

"You have described that cluster fuck perfectly, sir," Timik ground out.

"Polente?" Duo looked over at the exhausted woman slumped in her chair. "You..." he read the report as if he couldn't believe it, "rushed the two guards and took them out after they had taken down my infiltration expert and my point man? Why weren't you in your tactical position giving intel and orders?"

"The commander put me forward, sir," she replied as if she could barely keep from adding her acute displeasure.

"He placed you where a commander generally places agents who he feels might be compromised during the action?"

"Shit, yes, sir," Polente replied.

"Apparently, you didn't stay in that position," Duo pointed out. "Your commander suggests a reprimand."

She looked angry, but didn't comment.

"You took the buster pack and handed it off to Timik," Duo continued. "Then you took point."

"Bad ass!" Sanchez crowed.

"Can that!" Heero barked and Sanchez, who was full of dirt and sporting weeds all over his uniform, slumped down in his seat with a sullen expression.

"Yes, bad ass," Duo agreed, "but still clearly without Commander Parkins orders."

Duo gave Sanchez a long look and then said with a smile that he tried to hide, "Agent Sanchez... You... Let me get this one straight... You put your pack in front of you and threw yourself down on top of razor wire concealed in soft dirt and tall grass?"

Sanchez grinned, "Yes, sir."

"And then... let everyone walk over you?" Duo asked with raised eyebrows.

"Seemed the quickest way to get past the trap," Sanchez replied.

"How many stitches?" Duo wondered.

"Eight. Timik needs to lose weight," Sanchez replied.

Duo looked over his trainees and asked, "You all did get the memo that this was a training mission? There was a flag in front of the wire. You could have avoided it."

"After running into the guards, we had lost too much time. We needed to move fast," Sanchez explained.

We wanted to complete the mission," Porter grumbled. He was dirty, but seemed the only one not visibly injured. "Commander stick ass was going to make us fail it."

"Commander stick ass is charging you, Agent Porter, with insubordination and assault on an officer," Duo explained tersely.

Porter looked falsely apologetic. "He wouldn't shut up."

"You mean he wouldn't stop giving orders?" Duo clarified. "And when he tried to move forward to stop the other agents, you grabbed him and detained him."

Porter frowned in irritation. "He made me miss the rest of the mission."

Duo blinked at him and then looked at Rajmally. That man had a black eye and blood in his dark hair. "Agent Rajmally?"

"Sir?" Rajmally returned as he straightened in his chair with an effort, as if he were coming to attention.

"Along with Carmichael, you followed Polente's orders, and rushed the installation. You successfully immobilized the enemy and allowed your team access to the computer systems."

"Yes, sir," Rajmally replied proudly.

"But," Duo added, "you dropped your guard and allowed your team to be trapped. Your solution was to blow the installation after downloading the intel to headquarters. Your team was incinerated. So, you consider that a winning scenario?"

"No,sir," Rajmally said and deflated.

"No,sir," Duo echoed. "If you had spread out and watched the A corridor, you could have stopped reinforcements and allowed most of your team to escape."

"Most," Timik repeated.

"Most," Duo confirmed. "This isn't play time, boys and girls, this is reality. Sometimes, agents don't make it out."

Polente asked quietly, "Was there a way to get everyone out?"

Duo exchanged a look with Heero and Heero couldn't help a tight smile.

"Blow section wall one and three," Duo replied, "Commandeer a transport in section four and run like hell."

"Blow them with what?" Polente wondered in confusion.

"Cleaning supplies from the supply closet in section one," Duo replied.

They all stared and then Timik laughed.

"Bad ass!" Sanchez crowed again.

"They didn't think so when I ran the course," Duo replied with a snicker.

There was quiet and then Polente asked, "So, are we washouts, now? Is Commander Parkins going to press charges?"

"No," Heero replied as he finally stepped forward with a scowl. "Consider yourselves lucky. His decisions about agent deployment might have been incorrect, but he could have saved you from killing your entire team."

Duo slid down from the bunk carefully. Heero remembered when he would have jumped down like a cat. He turned off his palm computer and waved at the agents. "Get some sleep. I'll grill you over the details tomorrow. Don't think this is done."

There were groans as they rose from their chairs, but no voiced complaints. When Heero and Duo had left the barracks and were out of earshot, Duo sighed and wondered, "How many times do you think I can pull that, 'Saved your life during the war and you owe me one?'

"With Parkins?" Heero clarified, "I think 'saving his life' is stretching the facts, You destroyed his mobile suit and took him out of a battle."

"A battle where he might have died," Duo pointed out.

"You promised that our trainees would face severe disciplinary measures," Heero reminded him.

"I thought my talk was pretty severe," Duo replied. "At least it made them think." He shrugged. "I really can't fault them too much. One slip up lost them the mission, but until then they were doing everything right. They had a bad commander. They were in a bad situation. They made the right choices."

"Commander Une won't see it that way," Heero replied tightly.

Duo slipped an arm around Heero's waist and leaned into him, "About that. You write such great reports."

Heero shook him off and glared, "I would take a bullet for you, Maxwell, but I won't take Une's flack."

"Coward," Duo muttered. "I don't see why this is something I have to do."

"Because you are the one giving them a pass," Heero reminded him. "I would have put them all on charges."

"Which is why I'm point man in their training," Duo retorted. "I have a heart."

"That's not always a good thing," Heero grumbled.

"You know I made the right choices, here," Duo persisted as he claimed Heero's waist again and pulled him in tight.

Heero chewed on that as they reached Heero's vehicle in the Headquarter's parking lot. Finally, he replied, "The end of their training will prove whether you're right or not, not my opinion."

Duo made a sour face and then shrugged and smiled. "Can't argue with that."

"Good," Heero said as he opened the passenger side door for Duo. "Work stays at work. No more arguing."

Duo sat down in his seat with a sigh and then grabbed Heero's uniform to pull him down for a kiss. "There are better things to do."

"Once we get home," Heero agreed with a smirk.

__________________________

Duo's finger was tracing something on the newly cleared dining room table. No, he was arranging crumbs, lining them up meticulously even though his eyes were staring at nothing in particular.

Heero piled the dishes into the sink, grimacing at the diaster of their attempt at making pasta and sauce. Not that it had tasted bad, but that it had created such a wide ranging mess during its creation. It was all out of proportion to the tidy packet of red sauce, the precooked package of meat, and the vacuum packed noodles. One pot, a flat, easy to clean stove, and only two sets of dinnerware. Why there was sauce on the wall, on the floor, and on his white t-shirt begged a review of their tecnique.

Heero wiped at the offending sauce with a wet rag, but he glanced repeatedly at Duo while he worked. When he thought that Duo had lined up enough crumbs, he stealithy walked behind Duo to reach the closet that contained their cleaners.

Save them. Save them. Save them. Duo had run out of crumbs on the fourth Save them. That lack seemed to wake him from his thoughts. He stared at the crumbs and then wiped them into a pile with one hand. Heero saw a shudder travel across his lover's shoulders.

He should offer comfort, Heero thought, and picked through several scenarios. None of them seemed correct. In fact, acknowlging Duo's actions at all, seemed a wrong move in of itself. He would only be pointing out the obvious, Heero felt.Duo was clearly already thinking about his own actions. If he wanted to discuss it with Heero, he would in his own time.

Heero retrieved a spray bottle and a sponge. Returning to the stove, he squirted the bottle. The pain of joints in his hand locking up severely, made him swear. The bottle dropped away from unresponsive fingers and rolled towards the drop to the floor.

Duo was there to catch it.

"Fucking fingers!" Heero swore and slammed his throbbing hand on the counter top hard. Duo caught at his hand and rubbed with both of his hands, kneading the fingers and the palm expertly.

They glared at each other and then Heero sighed and looked away.

"Don't hate yourself. Accept it. Deal with it," Duo finally said. "You're just wasting time otherwise."

"Practice that much?" Heero muttered.

Duo twisted his hand in punishment and Heero gasped. They glared at each other again as Duo began kneading properly once more. "Punching when you feel punched just gets you into a fist fight."

"The psych says that I'm allowed to be angry," Heero reminded him sullenly.

"Not when you're destructive because of it," Duo replied. "Take your pills. The weather is shit. That's probably making your joints worse than usual."

There was a light patter of rain on the windows and the sound of wind picking up. Heero glared at the window, dripping with wet, as if he had someone new to blame.

Save them. The words came unbidden to Heero's mind and his anger poured out of him. He slumped a little, thinking about how saving anyone was now going to be much harder for them both. Gone were the days of super human strength, lightning reflexes, and the confidence to save the world that kind of perfection allowed them.

Heero wanted to ask, Who didn't you save? He knew it had to do with children, but no one had discovered any bodies yet, just evidence that children had been involved... involved enough to cause Duo to bury it deep.

"What did they want?" Heero whispered and it was almost to himself. He needed to know. Une needed to know.

"Myself," Duo replied and then looked pale and surprised. He turned away, long braid whipping around behind him. It slapped into Heero and then Duo was striding to the bedroom and slamming the door shut.

Myself, Heero repeated inwardly. His secrets? His training? His cooperation in their plans? It left so much open to interpretation. It was a beginning, though.... or it was if Duo could forgive him for bringing even a little of the nightmare to the surface.

The rest of the house seemed empty with Duo locked in the bedroom. Heero felt an acute wave of loneliness. He remembered how he had fought not to work with Duo. He remembered his annoyance and his belief that he didn't need to work with anyone. Now he was dealing with the fear that he might have driven Duo away from him permanently. It drove him to the bedroom door. he knocked lightly, his heart in his throat.

"It's okay, Heero," Duo called, voice muffled by the door. "Just give me some time."

Heero sighed in relief even though he still felt concern for Duo. He didn't think that he would relax until Duo was in his arms again and physically reassuring him that everything was all right. Duo had become his life so quickly and Heero didn't regret it.

-------------------------------------------

Heero felt sick. Standing in Une's office, with Milliardo Peacecraft in attendance standing behind Une like a sentinel, wave after wave of nausea hit Heero's gut.

Une was making notes and frowning, her fingers flying on her computer keyboard. Milliardo had his arms crossed, standing tall, with his ice blue eyes contemplating Heero as if finding fault. He wasn't making Heero nervous. It wasn't that kind of nausea and Heero couldn't remember ever feeling intimidated by anyone. No, this was something else entirely, something that was closely tied to giving his report and revealing intimate conversation between himself and Duo.

It shouldn't have mattered. Heero wasn't ashamed of his relationship or embarrassed by their intimacies. He knew that Duo understood that he had to make these reports. While his lover didn't like them, he knew as well as Heero that they were necessary. It still felt like a betrayal, though, as if he was allowing others to witness Duo slowly bleeding to death. It was the first time that he had ever thought that a soldier or an agent should be allowed his privacy, should be allowed to bleed out in peace both physically and mentally. Fuck the report. Fuck the need to report.

Milliardo shifted his weight and his muscles flexed. His long hair, caught back in a clip at the base of his neck, swayed and reminded Heero of Duo's braid.This man had been intimate with Duo. This man, tall, strong,handsome, and without Heero's disabilities, had taken Duo to bed and...

Heero felt anger joining his nausea. Duo had chosen him, Heero reminded himself firmly. He wasn't with Milliardo. Something about the man had made his handsome good looks irrelevant. Duo had even passed it off as a fling, a stupid one time thing. At their age, they should have had hundreds of such flings. It said something about their lives that they hadn't. Allowing someone that close, trusting someone that much, wasn't easy.

Duo had trusted Milliardo, if even for a short fling. That fact made Heero angry again.

"A theory?" Une suddenly said, startling Heero out of his thoughts. She looked over the rim of her glasses at Heero.

Heero stopped himself from rubbing at his sour stomach. He frowned thoughtfully.

"You must have one?" Une prompted.

"You know all the facts, Commander," Heero reminded her.

She made a helpless motion with her hands. "I want a fresh perspective."

Heero stared at a point at the center of her desk and felt the nausea grow. "He said that they wanted himself. I thought, at first, that they wanted to force him to do something for them, but... I have since changed that opinion."

"You have?" Milliardo looked curious.

"You didn't find any children," Heero reminded them.

"None," Une agreed. "Just signs that children had been there. We also found indications of violence, but none of the samples we gathered matched known files. We can only guess whether children had actually been harmed there."

"I don't think that there were ever children there," Heero proposed. "I think someone understood Duo's weakness and exploited it. He does give money to children's charities and he does volunteer at children's homes from time to time. He is on public record risking his life to save children who were in danger. When you know that a man is proof against any physical torture, then it follows that you use a mental weakness instead."

"We need to know what they wanted," Milliardo reminded Heero. "If you're saying that they didn't want Duo to do something for them under duress, then what else is there?"

"What makes us what we are?" Heero asked, meeting those blue eyes at last. "Is it our training or our genetics? Maybe they wanted the answer to that. They wanted Duo. They wanted what makes Duo who he is: better, faster, stronger, more intelligent."

Une nodded. "We have always suspected that your mentors used scientific means to create superior pilots." She cocked her head at him. "Why take Duo, though? Why not the best of the best? Why not you?"

"What mental or physical force could they use against him?" Milliardo snorted. "The man is a rock."

Une glared at him, but then nodded. "Duo would seem the weakest link among the pilots."

"Not Quatre?" Heero asked angrily.

Une shrugged, "While he is known for intelligence, his physical abilities have always been reported as normal. Perhaps exposure to the zero system is also a criteria that would eliminate both of you from their short list."

"Duo was exposed as well," Heero reminded her.

"That isn't well documented," Une dismissed.

"I think choosing Duo had more to do with opportunity," Milliardo suggested. "I think he is far more likely to leave himself open for attack. I've often witnessed him in public and private situations where he hasn't taken any precautions to defend himself."

"I think you are in error," Heero replied tightly. "While Duo gives off an attitude that he isn't being cautious, that is far from the truth. I think Duo has something uniquely his, that they were interested in having for themselves."

"What could that be?" Milliardo wondered sharply. "He's a bomb expert, an infiltration master, a commander's wet dream when it comes to leading a team in a mission. These are abilities that he learned, though. One might as well torture him to learn how to give a good blow job."

Heero felt his aching hands turn into fists. He opened them suddenly and looked down at them. Unconscious reflex. He looked up at Une then. "During the war you wanted to use us to program your machines. You wanted those machines to learn what it was to have human reflexes and human intuition. It failed. Is it possible that they re attempting it again? That they wanted Duo, not for his physical or mental abilities, but for himself... for his reflexes?"

Une looked thoughtful. "Reflex memory fed into an auto pilot?"

"You attributed Duo's injuries to torture," Heero reminded her. "Perhaps it wasn't torture at all? It might have been part of the experiment, part of their data gathering to lay muscle and nerves open, to stress them repeatedly into reacting, to map the adrenaline flow and reaction time when Duo is stressed... when he thinks there are children in danger that he can't save."

"An elaborate fantasy without any proof," Milliardo snorted.

Heero could agree, but it was the only one that fit the facts that he had been given.

"So you are proposing that we now have terrorists out there who possess a computer that has a program of Duo's reflexes?" Une asked.

"If we accept this theory," Milliardo said cautiously, "then we must also ask ourselves if they are prepared to go into battle or have only just begun their experimentation with their supposed data. As a general, I wouldn't implement a program like that without having the proper data and trials first."

"Then we may be searching for a base of operations using ships or mobile suits," Une said as she typed. "It would be hard to hide an operation like that."

"But not impossible," Heero replied.

"If we were seriously considering this theory," Milliardo grumbled.

Une looked frustrated. "This is more important than I first thought. If this is true, then we are looking at something far more serious than simple kidnapping and coercion of a Gundam pilot. All of my reasons for making certain that Duo remains ignorant of the full extent of his captivity may have been invalidated. I may have to sacrifice one of my best men to learn the truth."

Sacrifice his Duo. Heero felt even more nauseous. She was that sure that Duo wouldn't be able to cope with his full memory of his captivity.

Duty. Sacrifice. That had been their lives. For the first time, Heero didn't want to be the good soldier. He didn't want to carry out orders and watch his lover go insane. "Orders?" he asked in a rough voice.

"I want to think about this first," Une replied. "I need to consult and to get other heads in on this. Make sure that Duo remains available."

Heero nodded, though he wasn't sure why. He had no intention of carrying out that order. In fact, he was already planning their escape.

-----------------------------------------

"I didn't say that it didn't make sense, Heero," Duo said as he leaned over the shoulder of their pilot to check the readouts. He had to raise his voice to be heard over the loud engines.

"It's perfectly logical," Heero replied as he glared at Duo from the jump seat. A jungle full of rain was passing underneath them and their nervous trainees were huddled in the cargo bay, camo rain slicks and bulky strapped on supplies making them look uncomfortable.

"Yeah, perfectly," Duo agreed as he reached, flicked a dial, and then backed away when the pilot glared at him. "Sorry, man! Just a habit."

"Sit down, please, sir," the pilot ground out and Duo reluctantly took his own jump seat opposite Heero in the small cockpit of the jump ship.

"You are insinuating something," Heero complained. "Our trainees performed poorly on situations with lesser commanders. Real situations under prime circumstances and with two commanders with exceptional abilities, will have a chance of a greater success rate."

"Jungle, rain, a reason to have our own pilot and personal ship, and a drop off point that's not close to any known base camp," Duo ticked off on his fingers. He closed his fist and lowered it when he ran out of fingers. "Perfect."

Heero stared very hard at a point above Duo's head. He said after a long moment. "I have paperwork."

"I'll bet that you do," Duo chuckled. "In triplicate and signed by Une herself... only I'm sure she didn't know what she was signing."

"I didn't lie," Heero ground out, affronted at the very notion.

"Omission is a lie, Heero," Duo pointed out. "I'm sure Une thought she was signing for a training session, one just outside the training grounds with two superior commanders in charge that weren't us."

"I didn't falsify any documents," Heero insisted.

"You didn't have to," Duo sighed and then nodded at the jungle and the rain. "Let's forget about how we got here and concentrate on what we're facing. Monsoon season. It'll scramble any detectors looking for us. We can effectively get lost for a little while. Our poor trainees can't stay with us for months, though, so what's your perfect plan for them?"

"Drop off at a base camp... eventually," Heero replied, realizing that dissembling wasn't going to work. Duo was fully aware of his plan.

"But to make sure that you aren't lying on official paperwork," Duo guessed, "We will have to have a superior training session with them first?"

Heero nodded stiffly.

"This won't be good for your joints," Duo pointed out irritably.

"I'll deal," Heero replied, using one of Duo's pet phrases.

Duo blinked at him and then leaned between the space between them and caught at Heero's flight suit. He pulled Heero in close and asked, "What if I don't want you to deal? What if I want to call off this entire farce and go back to base?"

"That's your decision," Heero replied.

"If you told me why we were doing this?" Duo asked.

"Classified," Heero replied. That was true. He had been ordered not to discuss his meeting with Une and Milliardo with Duo.

"So, I just have to assume that we need to dump a bunch of green agents at a base camp and then hide in the jungle for... an unknown time period?"

"Yes," Heero replied simply.

Duo glanced at the pilot but the man had his communications devices on and his full attention on his instruments."Tyler isn't stupid. He agreed to this, right?"

Heero nodded.

"We used to just slip off into the shadows to escape, remember?" Duo said in exasperation. "We didn't have to involve a platoon and the acquisition of very expensive machinery."

"We were younger, then," Heero replied and felt the bite of regret and bitterness. "Now we need... assistance..."

Duo stared at him, going through a wide range of emotions from anger to sadness.

"Countdown to drop... mark," Tyler called to them and set off an alarm.

They checked their watches automatically and then stood up. "Let's see to our agents," Duo told Heero. "We'll discuss this again when we drop them off at a base camp."

"Two days travel over rough ground," Heero told him.

"I can read a map, still!" Duo retorted and then softened. "Of course you wouldn't make it easy for the trainees..."

"No, of course not," Heero replied.

Duo kissed him, short and forceful, and then they were separating and getting ready for the drop.

In all of their gear everyone was nondescript as they lined up at the hatch. "I hate getting wet," someone grumbled.

"You'll have two days to learn to love it," Duo shot back. "Can it and get into position correctly. Do it wrong and someone's going to think he's lucky to just get broken bones."

"Lucky?" another voice asked.

"When this ship dusts off, you better not be still inside stepping out or under the rotors under the ship," Duo replied. "We have a time limit and we have to meet it."

There were worried grumbles.

Heero took position to one side of the line and Duo took position at the head. He would be first off and assisting everyone else to get clear. Heero would make certain there weren't any stragglers.

The alarm changed tone and a red light began blinking at the hatch. They felt the pressure of a sudden drop and machinery trying to ease the stress in the cargo bay.

When the hatch shifted sideways and retracted, Duo was already stepping forward. It was a five foot drop to a jungle clearing full of debris from the forest all around it. It was very risky. Though the rotors were making a storm out of dead leaves and the lighter broken branches, Duo still couldn't see what was underneath the thick forest loam and the low brush and vines. That was why the jump ship couldn't put down completely. The danger of it becoming entangled was too great.

Duo dropped and Heero was there to grab at a strap on his pack and take some of the force of his landing. Braced on a handhold along the hatch, he still felt the pop and strain on his elbow, shoulder, and wrist as they took Duo's weight enough to slow his descent. If Duo noticed, he didn't show any sign as he stumbled, caught his balance, and then turned to look up at the ship. His braid and his bangs were fluttering the wind of the rotors as he shouted up, "Move! Move!"

Heero was already directing the trainees to begin jumping. He moved along their line to keep them formed up and to judge their nerve. Five feet wasn't a large drop, but some people balked from a case of nerves. He was pleased when everyone jumped on their mark. His feet hit the ground, Duo was there with an arm around him. They scrambled quickly over slippery uncertain ground as the ship shot up into the air.

Heero shook Duo off and glared as their trainees sorted themselves out. "You didn't need to do that!"

"Neither did you!" Duo retorted.

They stared at each other until Polente grumbled, "We're supposed to be getting under cover, sirs."

They both started, scowled, and then Duo was striding off and shouting orders, the rain pouring down on all of them and making his braid a sopping tail that swung about heavily as he started everyone into the jungle.

Heero looked for a limp or a hesitation as Duo checked gear and the trainees, but if Duo had hurt himself in the jump, he wasn't showing it to anyone, least of all Heero.

As for himself, Heero's arm was aching where he had taken Duo's weight, especially in the joints. The weather itself was making his body ache and the joints in his fingers throb harshly. Heero refused to show it, as proud as Duo, or maybe even more so.

They entered the jungle and the wide canopy blocked the worst of the downpour. Already wet, it didn't improve their mood. Duo refused to surrender point and Heero found himself at the rear. Even though it wasn't a real mission, he couldn't help ingrained reflexes that had him checking their surroundings and staying wary for an enemy. It was going to be a long two days, Heero thought, and his plan afterward wasn't going to make Duo any happier.

TBC

On to Chapter Two