Kracken
Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.
Warning: Male/male sex, graphic, violence, language, NCS flashbacks.
Shinigami's Lover Five
Dark Imaginings
"No!" Duo shouted at Heero and Wu Fei as he came down the stairs in a t-shirt, buttoning his jeans, hair loose, and feet bare. "We have to have time! Our things-"
Something crashed against the house. They all started. The sound of the wind was becoming noticeable. Heero met Duo on the stairs, very serious and very calm. "Duo, I want you to take your medicine, the stronger prescription, and I need you to grab some clothes."
"That's all you have time for," Wu Fei warned. "We need to go now or we won't be able to drive on the roads. It will be too dangerous."
Heero was very familiar with the widening of Duo's eyes, the tightness around his mouth, and the defensive posture he suddenly adopted. He was feeling threatened. He was feeling out of control. He was feeling forced. It didn't help matters that all of it was really happening this time.
"Chang," Heero ordered, knowing that he couldn't argue with that madness in Duo. "You go. I'll help Duo put as much as we can in the car before we leave."
Duo was suddenly back with them, snatched from the brink of ugly memories, pulling himself back to sanity and into action as he grabbed a box and dashed for the front door. Heero was only a moment behind him. Wu Fei cursed in Chinese and then bent to grab a box as well.
The wind was already vicious. They were pelted with debris and the start of rain. Wu Fei tossed boxes into his own vehicle, saving time by not waiting for them to load theirs. He felt time running out, though, and muttered, "Too late... It's too damned late."
"That's it!"Wu Fei shouted at last as he dashed back into the house and saw Duo trying to pack some other things. "You're coming, now!"
Heero didn't dare take Duo's arm. His lover was looking trapped. The weatherman was still going on endlessly about the storm. The weather track showed it spinning, like a monster sprinting for it's prey. "Duo," Heero said as calmly as he could. "We have to go."
"Damn fools!" Hulitt shouted as he forced his way through wind and rain into the house, slamming the door behind him. "Why are you still here?" He was soaked, his bald head gleaming wetly and his eyelashes blinking the water out of his eyes.
"Why are YOU still here, sir?" Wu Fei demanded.
"I'm an old fool with nowhere to go," Hulitt snarled back. "You three have a life ahead of you! Scratch that, may have had a life ahead of you. You can't leave now. The wind's too dangerous. You have to secure things here and find the safest place in the house."
They were all stunned. Hulitt was taking the lead, motioning to the windows. "Put things against them, block them up solid. If they break, the wind will take your roof off. Secure the doors. You need to brace the garage door from the inside. Put one of your cars in there and back it up against the door. It's not perfect, but it will help. Your lower hallway is narrow and the walls are cinder block, a supporting wall. Get mattresses in there and food and water. The mattresses will protect us if the house is compromised. Nix using the basement. We're in a low area, it may flood. Find a secure place upstairs as well, in case we're forced to relocate up there." He looked at them, still motionless and staring at him in shock. "Get moving gentlemen!" he barked.
"Looks like you have your wish," Heero told Duo angrily. He could see Duo trying to look contrite and failing.
Heero handed Hulitt a towel to dry off and then joined the others as they scrambled to follow his directions. They started with the windows first, and then the garage door. They moved quickly and it was a haphazard job at best, but they just finished when sirens began going off in the neighborhood and the storm hit. They managed to get one mattress into the hallway, a container of water, and some non perishable food, before they began to hear the groan of the house and the sound of nails popping.
"Shit!" Hulitt exclaimed. "Hole up, boys."
They sat in the hallway. It wasn't long or wide and they didn't have much room. Duo crouched furthest away, knees drawn up and expression tense. Heero took up a position between Duo and everyone else and Soda curled up nervously at Duo's side. The power flickered and went out. Wu Fei flicked on a lantern. Kong's eyes glowed from where he crouched by Wu Fei's side.
There was a crash upstairs. The sound of the building under stress grew louder. Water began dripping into the hallway from the ceiling vent. There was a door at one end of the hallway. It led into the office. The other end led to the livingroom. Over the howl of the wind, there was an explosive series of pops and cracks and then the door shuddered.
"The attic window!" Duo shouted over the noise, remembering the one window they had forgotten about.
"Mattress," Hulitt ordered. "Everyone under it. Sounds like the roof is going."
"No!" Duo shouted, partly in panic that his home was being destroyed and partly in trepidation at being put so close to other men in such a tense situation.
"Your pills!" Heero exclaimed, sensing an episode, and sprinting for the kitchen to get them.
"No, damned fool!" Hulitt clutched at him and missed.
Heero disappeared into the dark. Only a few moments later, the house made one more tremendous groan and then part of the second floor came down.
"Heero!" Duo shouted and flung himself at the debris half blocking the end of the hallway. "Heero!" The others grabbed at him and held him back. Before Duo could begin to fight them, Heero shouted above the wind and the rain, "I'm clear!"
Heero squeezed back through the debris, empty handed, his face bleeding and looking sickly in the lantern light. They pulled at him, shifted boards, and helped him avoid nails and jagged wood as water poured down on top of him and began to pool into the hallway. Duo pulled him the rest of the way through, taking Heero into his arms. They clung, both of them panting.
"It's all right," Heero murmured in Duo's ear and then broke the embrace to check the damage as he wiped the blood from his eyes..
Hulitt was already pushing boards back out of their shelter with Wu Fei's help. Both of their hands were already bleeding from having helped Heero. Heero joined them, checking the ceiling of the hallway and frowning in concern at the cracks.
"Further back!" Heero ordered and they shoved the mattress back and used it as a barrier as they crouched in the water.
The dogs whined and joined them, looking frightened. Duo ordered them sharply to be still, and pushed them so they were on the outside of their group, before turning and trying to check Heero's cut forehead.
There was a sudden silence, the wind and pounding rain stopping abruptly. Water still poured down from above, but it was quickly turning into a trickle.
"It's over," Duo breathed in relief.
"No," Hulitt corrected him tensely. "It's the eye. It's always calm there. The storm will start again in a few moments."
"Duo," Heero said quickly. "Move to the outside with the dogs. You'll panic if you get pressed by everyone."
Duo was beginning to feel his nerves fraying as everyone pushed against him and the smell of sweat and male scent came from all sides. Duo nodded in agreement, but he wasn't letting go of Heero. He fisted a hand tightly in Heero's collar and Heero was forced to move to the outside of the group with him.
Wu Fei was fiddling with the lantern indecisively. "I should turn this off."
There was a question in his voice and it was for Duo. Duo firmly oriented himself, telling himself that he was on a mission, that they had to conserve energy, and that the enemy was just outside. "Turn it off," he said in a very strained voice.
The click of the off button was deafening as they were plunged into darkness.
The storm began howling again, making them all flinch, and then the water began raining down from the collapsed first floor above them. They crouched in freezing water, the mattress quickly becoming soaked as they held it up to shield them. It seemed to take forever, but, finally, it grew quieter, leaving only the steady patter of rain and a light sound of wind.
"I think we can count our blessing now," Hulitt muttered as he shifted the mattress to one side and stood up.
Wu Fei clicked the lantern back on and stood up as well. He tried the door and wasn't surprised to find it blocked. Joining Hulitt, they both examined the debris at the other end of the hallway.
"We might be able to dig out," Hulitt suggested, but then added, "But we might bring down more of the first floor doing it."
"I think it's better to wait until someone can come and help us," Wu Fei replied He took out his cell phone to make an emergency call and then frowned. "It's dead."
"The towers are probably out. Mine's direct satellite," Heero said and took his out of his back pocket. He scowled as it fell, in pieces, into the water.
Duo's grip tightened. "You were almost..."
"But I wasn't killed," Heero told him soothingly. "And no one's going to die now. We'll have to take Hulitt's advice and start digging out."
Duo swallowed hard and nodded, letting him go with difficulty.
Heero stood and tipped the mattress so that it fell flat on the floor. "It's wet, but we can at least get out of the water. Two of us can rest here and the other two can dig us out. If we work in shifts-"
"And if we bring the house down on us by digging?" Wu Fei wondered disapprovingly.
The sound of stressed wood groaning came from above them and the cracks in the ceiling grew. Heero said, looking from them to Wu Fei, "I think we need to risk it."
Duo stood and leaned against a wall, arms wrapped around himself as he shivered. "It's totaled.... the house..."
Hulitt snorted irritably. "Not, totaled, boy! Just in need of a hell of a lot of repairs. You have insurance, right?" Heero nodded . "Then worry about getting out of here instead of what can be mended later on," Hulitt urged.
There wasn't any question about who would work with Duo. Heero joined him on the mattress while Wu Fei and Hulitt continued to dig. Heero began to move close to Duo as they both sat down and put their backs to the wall, unwilling to lay down on the wet mattress, but Duo twitched. Heero knew that involuntary signal and kept space between them regretfully. They were all wet and cold now and Duo was shivering.
"Talk to me," Heero urged softly.
"Why don't you hate me?" Duo wanted to know, face turned towards the shadows cast by the lantern. "We wouldn't be here if I had listened to you."
"I don't hate you," Heero assured him. "I can be... angry... upset... but I will never hate."
Duo swallowed convulsively. "I'm always hurting you... and I can't help it. I can't help being ... crazy."
Heero chose his words carefully, keeping his voice low even though it was impossible to keep Wu Fei and Hulitt from over hearing, "Well...life might get boring without the occasional house falling on me..."
Duo looked at him sharply and then sighed, not letting Heero draw him out of his mood.
Heero sighed. He reached out and took hold of Duo's braid, gently caressing as he said, "Duo, it isn't crazy to try and keep hold of something you love. Our lives have been less than ideal. We've both been nomads. We've both never had much to call our own. I can understand."
"Can you?" Duo asked despondently. "You were quick to try and leave all of this behind. You knew our lives were more important. Why couldn't I see that too?"
"That's part of your past," Heero replied, kissing the end of Duo's braid. "I've seen how it can be blinding; the emotions... the trauma you keep locked up inside of you."
Duo leaned close, eyes intense. "Heero, I went through a hellish time at the institute. When I came out, this was heaven; with you, with things I could call my own, with the puppies... I can't help holding on to it tooth and nail. I keep thinking, if I let it go, I may never have it again."
"You never talk about what really happened at the institute," Heero said sadly. "Was it that terrible for you?"
Duo looked haunted and pale as he nodded. He looked past Heero to where Hulitt and Wu Fei were digging and then began softly, "They had to keep me in a bare room... naked... I kept trying to kill myself. They were... They told me to calm down and take my medication or they would have to take my braid off too. They had already taken my cross and chain." He choked on the last and then said more steadily, "I agreed. I was pretty drugged up for a long while and then the therapists started in on me. They made me..." He paused, frowning in pain at the memory. "They made me tell them everything... everything, Heero... I felt, I felt like dirt, that I wasn't any different than what I'd been back then, just a street trash whore... But they told me... They told me it wasn't my fault and that I wasn't that little kid anymore. That was hard to understand, until they made me realize that... every time I had an 'episode', it wasn't about what frightened me or made me angry then, it was about a little kid being abused. I was going back there, reliving it, but letting it out, getting pissed about it when I couldn't back then. I was taking all of that anger, fear, disgust... everything and using who ever, what ever, was in front of me as my punching bag. When... When I attacked you, I didn't see you... I was seeing them. It's them I wanted to kill, Heero. The therapists taught me what to do with all of that, how to 'wake up' or never get in that situation to begin with. They taught me that I can keep that from happening again, that I wasn't a 'victim' someone could take and use again. I didn't have to be afraid... You know, Heero, that's worse than anything those rapists ever did, making me feel so... fucking... helpless..."
Duo ran hands over his face and he was shaking, and not from just the cold. "Then you called me and told me that you still loved me, that you still wanted me. When you told me about the house, when you talked about getting it ready for us to live there together.... You can't know what that meant to me. It gave me something to work for. It made me jump through any hoop my therapists set me... When I couldn't meet my goal though, when I couldn't completely stop reacting, they felt a working dog, Soda, was my only hope for release. When I did so well with him, they signed my papers."
Duo reached out and took Heero's hand in his. He squeezed it tight. "When you came to get me, I never loved anything so much as I loved you right then and there. I... I cried, you know, while you were driving us to the house. I didn't want you to see that. I wanted you to think I was okay. "
Heero smiled warmly. "I remember when we got out of the car. You stood there and just... stared at the house. I think you spent the first month there just walking around and trying to believe it."
Duo managed a weak smile in return. "We made plans during the war, had big dreams, but I didn't really think that we would ever stand there, together, and live in our dream." The smile faltered as he looked around them. "Now it's gone."
Heero squeezed Duo's hand and told him earnestly, "Not gone. Something as strong as what we have, Duo, can't be destroyed. We'll build a house around it again. I promise you."
They were quiet and Hulitt took that moment to clear his throat uncomfortably and say, "time for you boys to dig. This old man is done for now."
Wu Fei turned. His hands were bleeding from sharp pieces of wood and nails. His eyes were down as he nodded, acknowledging his own weariness.
When Duo and Heero moved to fill their places to begin digging, they saw that Wu Fei and Hulitt hadn't been able to dig very far. They exchanged looks, despondent, but Heero firmed his expression in the next moment and said, "We can't live in the dream again, Duo, until we get out of here... and we will... don't doubt it."
Duo nodded grimly and they began to dig.
On To Chapter Four
Back to chapter two