Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of them.
Warnings: Male/Male sex, graphic, language, violence,past NCS.
Shinigami's Lover III
Sequel to Conflicts
Kracken has a yaoi book, The Angel Within, at amazon.com. Use the link http://www.bonpublishing.com to go directly to it. Thank you to everyone who already bought it. *hugs* ^_^
Down Time
"Heero?" Duo reached around him, hand questing for a warm body as
he blearily opened his eyes. His back was throbbing and stiff, his neck had
a kink in it, and he was twisted in a very uncomfortable position. One of his
legs had definitely gone to sleep. When his fingers found a mess of chocolate
hair, he knew why. Heero was dead asleep on top of that leg.
Soda nosed his face, tail wagging and eyes looking concerned.
Duo blinked at him until the world came into focus again and made sense. They were on the couch in the living room, clothes half off of them, a thick, warm throw tossed over them both. There were weapons and gear trailing all the way from the front door to the couch. Duo fuzzily remembered a mutual agreement that they couldn't make it another step, certainly not up a flight of stairs to their bedroom.
"Heero," Duo tried again and received a snore in response.
Very carefully, Duo levered himself up on his hands and then slid out from under Heero. Heero twitched and then his eyes rolled open as if they were weighted down.
"Duo?" Heero murmured.
"Off," Duo said hoarsely. His throat was as dry as a desert. "You're cutting off the circulation to my leg."
"Sorry," Heero mumbled and rolled bonelessly, almost falling off the couch in the process. Duo caught at him and Heero yawned hugely. He blinked blearily, deep blue eyes taking in the scattered equipment and their residence on the couch.
"Bad idea," Duo said. "My spine feels like it's been twisted completely around."
Heero nodded and then rubbed at his neck, wincing. "Bedroom," he asked hopefully, wanting more sleep.
"Food," Duo admonished him. "Pee. Then back to bed."
"It's a plan," Heero agreed and groaned as he sat up.
Heero scratched at his hair, pulled out some twigs, and frowned at them.
"Food, pee, SHOWER, bed," Heero amended.
Duo grunted in agreement. He fished beside the couch for a shirt, found it, and then smelled it. It was rank. He began to toss it aside and then saw the bullet holes on the back. He stuck a finger through one. "Shit," he said quietly, all he could find to say.
"I-I forgot," Heero stammered, looking upset, and then tried again in a steadier voice, "I forgot that you were wearing a vest. I think my heart stopped."
Duo nodded sympathetically and reached out one armed to hug him close. He then pushed Heero away. "You stink worse than my shirt, Yuy!"
Heero wrinkled his nose. "You smell like... "
"So we both stink," Duo grumbled. "We won't bother each other then. Let's eat."
They both looked towards the kitchen, not moving. "I think we have to get off the couch to get there," Duo said. He looked down at Soda. "Can't you make breakfast for us, boy?" Soda wagged his tail and cocked his ears, looking happy to oblige.
"We couldn't trust him," Heero moaned as he slid to the edge of the couch. "He's all paws."
"Har, har," Duo muttered back, flipped his braid out of his way, and stood up in one motion. He immediately staggered as his numb leg refused to work. It came alive with pins and needles. "Man!" Duo groaned. "That should be a torture method. He lowered his voice dangerously. "Tell us the rebel plans or we'll put your extremities to sleep."
Soda barked, unsure, and Duo ruffled the fur on his head.
"So'kay, Soda. Let's put you out back. Bet you have to pee too," Duo said as he limped towards the kitchen. Heero groaned behind him as he levered himself off of the couch and followed as well, pulling the throw around him and trying to steady his steps.
Duo entered the kitchen first and Heero heard him exclaim, "Pack your things, Yuy! I'm in love with Harri now."
Heero entered the kitchen as well and blinked at a table set for breakfast; muffins in a basket, sausage and eggs in a covered tray and set over a warming pad, juice in a cooled carafe, and coffee already made in the coffee machine.
"Nice to know that your heart is ruled by your stomach," Heero retorted as he collapsed into a chair at the table. "Can you get me a cup of coffee before I leave?"
Duo poured two cups of coffee, limped to Heero, put his steaming Preventer logo mug down in front of him, and then kissed him with a teasing smile on his lips. "Just joking," he said as he sat down as well. "You know I like you more than a plate of sausages."
As Duo opened the covered dish and began forking sausages onto a plate with relish, Heero reached out and took it away before Duo could serve himself enough to make him ill, saying teasingly, "Are you sure about that?"
It was awhile before either of them looked up from their plates. Soda demanded to go outside and Duo rose and turned towards the back door. He burped loudly.
"Nice," Heero grunted as he wiped at his mouth with a napkin.
"In some places, that's a compliment," Duo laughed as he opened the door. Soda shot out and gave a bark that wasn't alarmed, just informative. It let Duo know that someone was out there, but that whoever it was, they weren't unknown.
Duo was thinking that it was Harri, but he was surprised when he saw the man half lounging in the back yard hammock, half grown puppies all around him, and Mr. Hulitt leaning against one of the support trees. They looked comfortable with each other, Mr. Hulitt's brown, wrinkled face smiling.
"Hi!" Duo called. They looked over at him and waved.
"About time you boys got back!" Hulitt shouted and his keen eyes raked Duo up and down once and then he added, "Take care of yourselves and don't mind us!"
"I don't mind following that advice!" Duo called back. "Thanks for everything! Breakfast was great, Harri!"
"My pleasure, sir!" Harri replied, pleased. "Mr. Hulitt is right, sir! Allow us to take care of things while you, and Mr. Yuy, relax."
"I'm marrying both of them," Duo said aside to Heero. "Have you packed your bags yet?"
"Keep that up and I won't scrub your back for you in the shower," Heero grumbled.
Duo darted a look at him. "Are we at that part of the schedule now?"
"Well, first we have to pee," Heero snickered.
Duo looked back at Hulitt and Harri. "Thanks, guys! You're the best!"
Duo closed the door and headed out of the kitchen, motioning for Heero to follow with a smile. Heero said, as he carefully took hold of Duo's hand, "Duo, you are really amazing."
Duo lifted an eyebrow. "We haven't gotten to that part of the schedule yet, Yuy... wait, did we even put THAT on the schedule? No, we didn't, did we? Well, we'll just have to pencil it in."
"If you're up to it?" Heero replied seriously.
That question was heavy with meaning and Duo paused and looked back at Heero, thinking.
"You did have a rough time," Heero told him. "You had some bad memories stirred up. Maybe it would be better to wait?"
Duo appeared to look inside of himself. He raked a hand through his dirty bangs and then smiled as his eyes cleared and he looked at Heero again. "I'm fine."
Heero smiled back. "That's what I meant by 'amazing'. You left the back door unlocked. Harri coming into our home, and cooking breakfast, didn't phase you. The fact that two men are in our backyard and have access to the house, doesn't bother you. You want to... Not even a few months ago, I wouldn't have thought this possible."
Duo admitted, "It's still there, Heero, deep in my gut. I'm still terrified down in there, but.... somehow... I've found a way to stop it from taking control.... most times, anyway. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm facing up to what I'm afraid of instead of running away and avoiding it like I did during the war."
"But..." Heero regarded Duo intently and then his smile turned very gentle. "Duo, don't push it though.... I don't know you better than you know yourself, so I know that you realize what is going on in your own head. Don't try and offer me something you are not ready for or push yourself too much trying to get what you want."
"I do want you," Duo told him.
"Until you start to think about things," Heero replied. "And then it will be different. I don't think spontaneity, especially right now, will ever be something that you will be entirely free to enjoy. You need that feeling of being safe."
Duo frowned. "You're killing the mood," he said, but he wasn't angry, just resigned, knowing that Heero was right. He tried to lighten it again, slipping an arm around Heero's waist and pulling him towards the stairs. "You're pretty amazing too, you know?"
Heero looked at him, puzzled.
"You went from being severely injured to pulling off a complex, life or death, mission in record time," Duo told him. "You've proven that you can be an agent again."
"Maybe," Heero replied skeptically.
They climbed the stairs and Duo sighed in exasperation. "We both aren't perfect, Heero, but we manage."
"And if 'managing' isn't good enough?" Heero wondered acidly, "if our not being a hundred percent gets people killed?"
Duo snorted as they reached the top of the stairs and headed for their bedroom. "Look, Heero. We are far and above superior to every agent on the force. We are ex-Gundam pilots. Our almost a hundred percent is their a hundred and fifty percent."
That struck Heero hard enough to make his steps falter, but he didn't look completely convinced. He was too much of a perfectionist.
"Stop thinking!" Duo told him sharply. "Let's relax. Preventer things, and deep psychological discussions, are now off limits and won't go any further than this doorway, got it?"
Heero smiled in spite of his inner turmoil. "Yes, sir," he replied.
Duo grinned. "Then let's get to the next part of the schedule, because I'm about to explode!" and he raced to get into the bathroom first.
____________
Duo knew that he was dreaming. A part of his mind told him so. It didn't matter as far as how he reacted to it emotionally though. That part of his life had been too much of a turning point, the crux that had shaped his future with Heero, yet it was a part that he never really wanted to share with the man he loved. It had been too dark, too full of anger and self loathing, and too painful going through his therapy at the institute.
"Don't touch me!" Duo had shouted for what had seemed like the thousandth time. His body had wanted to draw away, was curled in a corner of his room, trying to push it's way through that wall and escape.
When a wet nose had touched him instead of the dreaded hands of his nurses, Duo had been shocked out of his panic. The friendly face of Soda had greeted his momentary return to sanity and he had found himself reaching out, clinging to that warm anchor, needing reassurance and touch that wasn't a trigger for horrible memories. That dog had been his life saver, had taken him to a place, mentally, he had despaired of ever reaching. With Soda's help, that unfailing presence at his back, he had found the courage to learn to endure his therapy, a therapy that had extracted the psyche of a trained, psychotic killer out of a young man and replaced it with someone, who, though not completely well, could at least hope to live a normal life.
Duo shivered, remembering his training, remembering the painful days, the long hours, and the long list of specialists who had seen him at his worst, had seen the frightened child; the almost animal crazed center of his soul. Before Soda, they had almost given up, had almost marked him as permanently committed; a sad casualty of a war that had started before he was born.
Duo remembered calling Heero at the end of his treatment, remembered his fear that Heero had moved on without him and had given up on ever continuing their relationship. He wouldn't have blamed the man. At the end of the war, at the party to celebrate peace, Duo had tried to end his life with a bullet, believing that a mentally ill killer like himself could never live in a peaceful world. Heero had saved him then and he had saved him again by answering the phone, by being happy, by being ready to come for him at that moment's notice and start a new life together.
The dream was a collection of vignettes of that terrible/wonderful time and Duo was twitching and ready to wake up when his body informed him that it had slept long enough.
Duo groped for the clock on his side of the bed. He almost dropped it, recovered, and glared at the lighted dial. "Four a.m and I'm wide awake. That's what I get for trying to sleep for two days."
He looked over to Heero's side of the bed and felt around in the darkness, needing reassurance after a dream like that one. His hand found Soda curled up where Heero should have been, instead. Duo's hand had flinched at the feel of fur, but then he caressed it and said with a laugh," Heero's going to kill you if you shed all over his pillow." Soda only licked his hand and nuzzled his face, unrepentant.
Heero entered the bedroom, then, turning on the lights when he heard Duo's voice. "Off!" Heero growled and Soda jumped off the bed as if gravity had ceased to exist, his tail between his legs as he scooted to his corner of the room.
"He was keeping your spot warm," Duo chuckled as he blinked at Heero.
"Keeping it hairy is more like it!" Heero grumbled as he placed a tray of food on the bed and began brushing off his pillow.
Duo looked at the food; juice, muffins, sausage links, and hard boiled eggs. "How did you know when I would awake up?"
Heero grunted. "I didn't. This was for me. I was going to catch up on some work in the other room and then decided to get dressed first." He was sitting in pajama bottoms with a loose robe hanging from his shoulders.
Duo chuckled. "Don't feel very professional in fuzzy slippers and pjs?"
"They are not fuzzy, " Heero retorted with a smile and then admitted, "You're right. It's hard to formulate a professional report when I'm half dressed."
Duo took up a sausage and bit into it with relish. "Greasy protein. Wonderful."
Heero suddenly narrowed his eyes. "You look... did you have bad dreams?"
Duo froze, wondering how he looked. If Heero could tell that he hadn't slept well, it must not have been good. He thought for a moment of lying, of pretending that he didn't remember, but one of the first things that he had been taught had been to not hide his problems, because they weren't just his. They affected the people in his life. They affected Heero.
"I had a dream, about the institute," Duo told him, staring down at his sausage.
Heero winced. "Was it... bad?"
Heero didn't know enough about the therapy that Duo had gone through to make a guess.
"It was very hard there," Duo admitted. "But they weren't cruel to me or did things that weren't necessary. They gave me a life." He looked up at Heero. "And you gave me a life too. You came after me when I called."
Heero smiled gently and reached out and carefully took Duo's hand in his. "I was waiting for that call. I never doubted that you would be able to make it. I know how strong you are."
"I thought," Duo swallowed and dropped the sausage back onto the plate. "I thought that you would come to your senses and realize that you were better off without my madness around you."
"I didn't think that," Heero told him, his eyes intense, "Not even for an instant."
"Are you that hungry?" Duo asked, indicating the tray.
Heero looked confused at the change of subject and then shook his head, "No, do you want it?"
Duo tightened his grip on Heero's hand and said, "Food isn't what I'm hungry for, Heero," and he leaned and gave Heero a kiss. "Is it all right if I show you how much I appreciate you, how much I love you? After almost dying in that mission, I think I need to feel alive. I think I need to feel that with you."
Heero held still and let Duo slip his robe from his shoulders. Duo kissed his chest, lapped at a nipple, and then moved to close the space between them. Heero closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "A-Are you sure?" he managed to ask as Duo slipped off his briefs and then pushed Heero onto his back.
Duo smiled into Heero's face as he straddled Heero's pelvis and the rigid erection there. He rocked his hips, stroking it, and Heero gasped. "More sure than I've ever been in my life," Duo replied and he rolled.
Heero suddenly found himself on top, lying between Duo's thighs. Duo reached up and pulled him down. Teeth and tongue raked and licked along Heero's neck even as Duo began to play with him with his strong hands. Heero shuddered. He was watching Duo closely, though, even in the throes of his rising passion. He knew the danger that went hand in hand with Duo's desire and he was not going to drop his guard, especially when Duo offered what he seldom ever did. Duo reached over to the side table, dug in a drawer, and then offered Heero a tube of lube. Heero knew the trust that was being offered along with it and he felt a flush of joy and love that Duo would trust him above any one else in space or on Earth.
Heero went slow, as gentle as possible, reining in his desire with an iron will as he made himself slick and entered into the tight heat of his lover. Duo raised his legs, offering himself, giving Heero permission to push in deeply. Duo was handsome, his expression was erotic and showing his great pleasure. His eyes on Heero were on fire. Heero supported himself on his arms, giving Duo room so that he wouldn't feel trapped or forced. When Heero's hips began to move, the motion was slow, almost languid, even though his breath came out in strained pants and his brain wanted him to pound in and out of his lover's body with the full force of his desire. That way led to panic, he knew, and violence. Duo trusted him. He wouldn't betray that trust for simple lust.
"I need more. So do you," Duo said. "All right?"
It was almost a relief to give up control to Duo. Duo could see his pain, could see that easy and slow wasn't what he needed. Duo was ready to give too. They rolled again and then Heero turned and went face down into the pillows. He offered himself almost frantically. He heard the squirt of the lube and then Duo was taking hold of him and entering him carefully, filling him with a long hardness; making Heero his completely.
"Yessss!" Heero groaned and pushed back. He wasn't Duo. He didn't want slow and easy. He liked it hard and fast. He liked to be possessed, his control taken, his body rode. Though Duo feared being used in just that way, his fear didn't include taking someone else. Control was the key. Duo needed it and used it to take Heero to the pinnacle of pleasure.
They both groaned. They both cried out. The sound of their bodies coming together was loud. Heero knew he would be sore afterward and didn't care. The pleasure/pain of it was all that he craved. Having Duo take him and love him was the culmination of all his dreams.
"Love you, baby," Duo said in his ear and then reached under Heero to take his twitching, needy erection. He pumped, one handed, while his other gripped Heero around his waist to hold him firm. When he exploded into Heero, he jerked and thrust hard, sending them both down into the pillows, his hand still milking Heero frantically. Heero came shortly afterward, shooting over Duo's hand and his own belly, hot and copious. He screamed out with the orgasm and spasmed under Duo, riding the intense waves of pleasure.
It was sometime later, when Heero stirred and turned around enough to hook a leg over an exhausted Duo's body and wipe the sweaty bangs from Duo's face.
Duo smiled at him. "I feel really..., " he searched for a word.
"Decadent?" Heero offered.
"Sinful," Duo finished with a laugh. "Two days down time. Hot sex. I could get used to this."
"If it makes you smile, I'll gladly stay in bed and make love every day," Heero replied.
The phone rang. Duo made a face as the answering machine picked it up and they heard Wu Fei's voice. "When you are FINISHED, call me," he said with mock derisiveness. "We have a new case."
The phone hung up and Duo became serious. "Heero.... He sounds like he expects his partner to go back to work with him."
"And his partner's lover," Heero added thoughtfully. "How do you feel about that?"
"I'm an agent," Duo replied. "An investigator."
"Not a special agent, a field soldier?" Heero wondered.
Duo went very quiet. "Kit was right, damn her."
Heero blinked. "About what?"
"She told me that I wouldn't stay an investigator, that I wanted more than that," Duo replied. "I guess I do now that I've gotten back into it."
"You're troubled," Heero saw.
"I didn't want to get into that level of violence anymore," Duo admitted, but then he sighed. "But.... I'm damned good at it. I was trained by the best. I am one of the best. I... I do have this... something... inside of me, that loves the rush, the danger, the.... Guess I should stop fooling myself." He quirked a grin at Heero. "So, do the Preventer's allow three way partnerships?"
Heero smiled back. "In our case, I think they will."
End of Shinigami's Lover III
Of course there will be a Shini Four, as soon as I think of a plot. *laughs*