Part Seventy-Four:
It was my own damn fault, of course, and in that instant I knew, I had no one to blame but myself. I should have recognized that Duo would be sensitive to something like that. That he wasn't like me, that his culture had been radically different from mine. That he would see things in a totally different light. That evasions and omissions would not be acceptable, and that "I forgot" would not be a valid excuse.
But I didn't. I was too wrapped in the glow of romance, too besotted by the exotic, erotic and utterly bewitching creature that now shared my bed to acknowledge such mundane cares.
So, I forgot.
Conveniently.
I never dreamed... Never even entertained the idea...
Why would I?
It was perfectly normal. For me. For my Clan. Expected, approved, done every day. A normal part of who we are...
What the fuck was Zephyrus doing in Shinuryushi anyway?
Bloody damned demon...
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"Oi, Heero!" called the demon over Duo's shoulder, waving to me. "Kohaku sends her love and greetings and wants you to call her about Komori's birthday." He gave an obvious smirk. "I was rather amazed; he's getting to be quite a handsome boy, Heero, and he looks just like you."
My heart stopped.
Absolutely stopped beating.
Duo, standing only a few feet from the damned demon, went instantly still, still as death.
I think I stopped breathing, as well.
Slowly, Duo turned and looked at me.
Shit. I hadn't even thought... Never occurred to me... They didn't even live with my Clan...
I tried to form an explanation. I tried to form simple words.
Apparently, my brain had also ceased to function.
From somewhere, I heard voices, but they were muffled and distorted.
Duo stared at me, purple eyes wide. He blinked once.
"You have a child?" he whispered.
I nodded slowly, holding my breath.
"But... you told me... you promised me..."
Devastation.
A ruined bloody battlefield of pain, loss and... and heartbreak... in his eyes.
Wide purple eyes...
Betrayal.
"I thought... you said..."
"Duo... my darling..." I reached for him. I tried to make words come, to explain that it wasn't what he thought, but...
"Liar!" he shrieked, jerking away.
And he vanished.
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Duo materialized on a swath of rocks a hundred feet from the gently lapping ocean.
He blinked.
"Okay," he muttered to himself.
He turned a full circle in place, taking note of his surroundings. He recognized the beach; he and Heero had visited here the previous summer. A wonderful weekend of courting...
"How about that..." Duo said bitterly, shaking his head. "Of all times for it to work..."
Well, he had wanted to get away from Heero and everyone else. He just hadn't expected to get a few hundred miles away.
The weather here matched his mood; cold, damp, and gloomy.
"Freakin' bloody wonderful," he muttered.
A few vehicles were parked along the shoulder of the highway, attesting to the dedication of surfers, and he could just make out some bobbing shapes far out on the ocean waves.
There were worse places to be, he thought. His cloak was waterproof; the threat of actual rain negligible. He needed to think and this place was as good as any. He found a place on a raised outflow channel and sat down, wrapping his cloak around him.
::Damn... I trusted him. I trusted him with my life... With my heart... How can he say he loves me and not tell me there's someone else in his life? What did Zeph call her? Kohaku? And Komori? His son?! Heero has a son he never even mentioned! Why?! Why aren't they together? Why is he here alone? Why are his- his- mate and his... child so far away? Is it me? Is he hiding me?::
He didn't want to acknowledge the thought that oozed around his defenses.
::A back-alley romance... Is that all I am...?::
He scrubbed his hands over his face angrily, swiping at the tears he couldn't stop.
"Fuck!" he snarled. "Stupid! Stupid bloody idiot!" He drew a shuddering breath, pounding his fists on his knees. "How could you be so stupid?!"
"Hey, you okay there?"
Duo jumped and pushed his hood back to see a guy standing a few yards away. Duo sensed no immediate threat from him, so he relaxed.
"I don't know," he replied with a listless shrug. "Still debating."
"Heh." The guy quirked a grin and flicked his hand toward the ocean. "As long as you're not planning to take a walk."
Duo shook his head. "I probably couldn't even get that right," he grumbled. "No, I'm just wondering if they give awards for 'Most Stupid.' I'm pretty sure I'd have a good shot at it."
The guy sat down a few feet away. He wore a wetsuit, so Duo figured him for a surfer, even though he wasn't carrying a board.
"Girl trouble?" the surfer wondered sympathetically.
"Boy trouble," Duo corrected with a sigh.
Maybe... All those counselors when he was living in this world, trying to get him to "open up," to "talk about his feelings." Humans did that; talked to others about their feelings. Talked to friends, to counselors, to complete strangers about their personal lives. And swore that it was good, that it made them feel better, even if it didn't solve anything...
Damn, maybe he could talk to this stranger without feeling like a fool.
The surfer might have read his mind, or maybe it was just that he was Human and Humans talked about how they felt, even the supposedly stoic males. "Sometimes it helps to talk. Sort things out; get your thoughts in order. Take a step back from everything."
Duo glanced up, having come to a decision. "I already took the step back," he grinned tightly. "But sorting and ordering sounds pretty out of reach right now."
Wetsuit guy chuckled wryly. "Love's a bitch, ain't it."
"Yeah." And it was a Wyvern, too.
"My name's Geoff," said the surfer.
"I'm Duo." They shook hands.
"You had a fight with your guy?" Geoff asked.
Duo started to answer, then thought about it. It hadn't gotten as far as a "fight." Zephyrus let slip that Heero had a child. Heero didn't deny it; just looked like he wanted to kill Zeph and then erase his words.
::And I didn't give anyone a chance to say anything else. I just went Banshee on him. Ah, shit...::
He hung his head with a sigh. "Not exactly. Someone dropped a bomb, and rather than wait for an explanation, I just freaked out and took off."
"Oh. Not too good."
"No shit."
"So, was it something really awful?"
Was it? Duo considered for a moment.
"Not really, I guess," he sighed. "It... blindsided me... I think I'm more upset that he never told me. That I heard it from someone else."
"You feel kind of..."
"Stupid? Naïve? Oh, yeah. He should have told me himself; not let me hear it in passing like that, from a third party. From a person he doesn't even like."
"No, that's not very considerate behavior. You deserve honesty from the one you love."
"Yeah... Yeah, I do." Funny; he'd never really thought of himself as deserving of things. He sighed and leaned back on his hands, staring at the blue-grey waves. "He has a kid, and he never told me. He's been telling me he loves me for months, and I finally believed him... I let myself... I let myself... fall in love... and then I suddenly find out that he has a kid he never even mentioned. A kid means a mother, right? So, there's a female in his life too. So, did he tell her that he loved her? Or did he just knock her up and walk away?" He took a deep breath, shuddering in spite of himself. "If he could walk away from... from... a woman and his child, he could do the same to me."
Geoff sighed; he scooped up a couple of the smooth river stones, turning them over and over in his hand. "That's a perfectly normal and reasonable concern, Duo. You want to know where you stand in this guy's life, in his heart. No one likes feeling that they've been made a fool of."
"Yeah. And that's exactly how I feel now! 'And in this cage, the World's Biggest Fool!'" He drew his legs up and rested his head on his knees. "And it really hurts..." he whispered.
"Would you mind so much, if he had told you in the beginning? If he had just admitted to a prior relationship, and explained the situation?"
Duo thought for a few minutes.
"Damn. I'm not sure... It kind of bugs me that he could have a child and never mention it. That's... I don't know... Kind of cold?"
"Is he a cold sort of guy?"
Duo snorted. "Not with me! He's like five alarm chili with me!"
"Um... Okay. Forgive me if I'm rude here, but is he also an Elf?"
Duo frowned. "'Also?' I'm not an Elf; I'm a Banshee."
Geoff colored under his tan. "Oops! I'm terribly sorry! I saw the cloak and your ears and just..." He sighed, studying the stones in his hand. "Just made an ass of myself. I'm really sorry."
"Eh," Duo waved it away. "It's not an insult; there's a strong consanguinity between Banshees and Elves. Elves are just better-known than Banshees."
"Yeah." Geoff sat up straighter. "I didn't know that there were male Banshees."
Duo cut him a sidelong look, smirking. "At least you didn't immediately think I'm a useless breeder."
Geoff frowned. "Should I?"
"I hope to hell not. I'm just a little sensitive about that subject, thankyouverymuch. Some people, who don't know much about Banshees, are of the opinion that the males are just for stud, and the females are the useful ones."
"Someone would actually say that to you?"
"On occasion. Mostly behind my back. The females have the Voice that can drop a man at a hundred feet, but the males aren't anything to turn your back on. We just defend ourselves differently."
"Perfectly logical," Geoff nodded.
"And we don't generally mix with other Magical Races or Humans much."
"But you're here..."
"Some Banshees are wanderers..."
"That's very interesting," Geoff murmured. "They don't spend much time on Magical Races in school," he said apologetically. "And the library isn't very helpful either."
"You really want to learn more?" Duo asked curiously. He wasn't used to Humans actually caring about the Magical Races. They were usually in awe or afraid, neither of which made Duo comfortable.
"Yeah. Um... There's a family legend that my Great-Grandpa Enjolyn was an Elf. No one seems to know for sure, or even why the legend might have started, but I've always wanted to find out."
Duo studied the young Human male more closely. He could be part Elf. He had the slim oval face and the graceful long-fingered hands of an Elf, but he was taller than most Elves and more muscular.
Duo couldn't tell offhand. He shook his head. "You could be, from a few generations back and only one person. I think you'd have to ask an Elf." He thought of Heero, and how he hadn't even guessed that the Wyvern was part Banshee. "And even they might not be able to tell. My lover is part Banshee, but I didn't know it until he told me. You might have to resort to DNA tests."
"Is your lover part Human, then?"
"No, he's a Wyvern."
"I've never heard of a Wyvern."
"They're a kind of Dragon. Kind of scary-looking." He noticed Geoff's startled look. "They're shape-shifters. Most of the time, he looks Human. It's easier when he's around Humans and other Magical Races. Wyverns in their natural form are... well... just scary." He snickered to himself. "And their wings are big! Twenty to twenty-five feet across."
"Geez..." breathed the surfer. "I don't know if I'd want to meet one of those or not..."
"He's not a cruel person..." Duo sighed. "Sometimes he just doesn't understand..."
"Maybe this is a case of misunderstanding?" Geoff suggested. "Is it possible?"
Duo shrugged. "Anything is possible. We're both kind of... odd."
Geoff stood up, dusting his hands off. "Look, I'm done surfing; you want to get some breakfast with me? There's a great place in Encinitas. I can drop you back here, or wherever you like afterward."
"I am kind of hungry... Sure; why not? Do they make French toast?"
"They make fantastic French toast!"
Duo hopped down from the channel rim. "After you, my man!"
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Jake deposited me on the beach, only a few feet from where his talent told him that Duo had appeared.
Of course, Duo was no longer there.
I swore. Loudly and colorfully, in every language I could remember.
Jake gave me a wide-eyed look and a raised eyebrow.
"Sorry," I apologized. "I was hoping..." Hoping that my Banshee would be waiting nicely, like a good child. Sometimes, I am such an idiot.
"This is where he arrived," Jake said neutrally. "If he left here, he did it on foot or by conventional means. I can't track that, Heero; I'm sorry."
I ran my hands through my hair, grabbing hold and pulling hard just for good measure.
"I know, Jake. I'm just angry with myself, and not doing much of a job keeping it to myself. Sorry."
He laid a hand on my arm. "Don't beat yourself up too much, Heero. He'll cool off and come back. Do you want to wait here or come back?"
I looked around the beach. A few vehicles in the parking lot, some surfers clinging to the dead waves, cobblestones leading down to the blue-grey water, a couple of people walking further down.
No Duo, though. No sign of my darling angel.
But I recognized this place. We were here once, months ago, for a weekend. There was a town to the south, past the bluffs. Maybe he had gotten a ride or walked into town. It was still early here, and a weekday. Maybe he would walk around the town, calm down, and then come back here.
He had to know I would come after him. Had to know I would want to explain. Failing that, surely he would want a chance to yell at me.
I sighed and found a place to sit.
"Go back, Jake. I'll wait here for him. If he shows up at the Castle, come get me. If he shows up here, we'll fly back."
He nodded and echoed my sigh. "Okay, Heero. But if he doesn't show up at the Castle by sundown, and I haven't heard from you that you've found him here, I'll be back for you. Okay?"
I wanted to point out that I'm not a child; I can find my own way home. But if Duo didn't come back, I didn't know what I would do. I laid my head on my drawn-up knees and sighed once again. "Okay," I agreed reluctantly.
The Wizard laid his hand on my shoulder for a moment. "You know how he is, Heero. Once he stops to think, he'll calm down and be rational. It'll work out."
"Yeah."
"And you will tell him everything." He gave me a pale shadow of my own glare.
I smirked; no argument there.
"Yeah," I agreed. "And if I forget anything, you'll remind me, yes?"
"Of course!" he snorted.
He vanished then, and I was alone with the ocean, the stones, and my own foolishness.
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"You sure you want to just hang out here?" asked Geoff as he pulled off the highway to park.
Duo shrugged. "Mostly. He'll come after me. He won't wait for me to come home."
"And you're okay with that?"
"Oh, yeah. It's not as smothering as it sounds." He grinned at the young Human. "Heero's a protective sort of guy; I don't mind it."
Geoff shrugged easily; whatever worked for the lovely creature. On the outfall channel, he saw someone stand from their seat on the riprap. "Is that your scary Dragon?"
Duo turned to look, and smiled. "Yep, that's him. Guess I'd better go. Thanks for breakfast and for letting me do this brain-dump. It really helped."
"You're welcome, Duo. Thanks for the information on Elves. Give me a call next time you're in the area; we'll have lunch or a beer or something."
"You bet." Duo opened the door and slid out of the truck.
Geoff waited as he walked across the dirt strip to meet the man walking across the rocks. Not his business, of course, but he still wanted to make sure that everything would be all right for the Banshee.
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Something clenched in my gut when I saw Duo get out of the truck stopped on the side of the highway. He'd gone somewhere with a stranger... He had trusted someone - a man - he didn't know. Would he never learn to be wary? Or was I simply too suspicious?
My Banshee, as he frequently reminds me, is not helpless, but he is my Banshee, and as such under my protection. I can no more stop being protective, than I can stop breathing.
He came across the parking lot toward me, but the truck didn't leave. The driver appeared to be watching us. Why? Was he waiting to see if I was really here for Duo? What if I weren't here? Would he come after my Banshee?
~ Stupid, ~ muttered a voice in my head, the one I frequently argue with. ~ If the guy wanted Duo, he never would have let him out of the truck. Plug your brain back in, Yuy. ~
::Well... Yes, this is true...:: Oh, I really needed to get myself in hand.
And then Duo was stopping a few steps away.
We stared at each other for a few seconds.
"Are you mad?" he asked in a small voice.
I blinked. Mad? At him? Great Dragons...!
"Of course not!" I exclaimed. "I was worried..."
"But you're not mad?" he persisted.
"No," I sighed. "Not at all. I'm sorry -"
"Good! Because I'm highly pissed, Yuy!" he exploded.
I blinked. Then blinked again.
Oops.
I wasn't off the hook after all.
"Why didn't you tell me you have a kid, Heero? Do you have any idea how humiliating it is for everyone to know but me?! Even fuckin' Zephyrus knows! A demon knows more about my lover than I do!" He waved his arms around angrily, narrowly missing my nose at one point. Or maybe that was on purpose.
"I'm sorry, Duo! It just..." Somehow, 'slipped my mind' did not seem the right thing to say just then. I tried for something a little less truthful, but more to the point. "Duo, I did what my Clan requires; I had a child. We all do it; it's part of our lives."
"And the child's mother?" he growled, far from mollified. "She means nothing to you? You have no feelings for her?"
"Of course, I have feelings for Kohaku!" I returned, stung. We were close friends as well as cousins. I wouldn't have agreed to have a child with her if she meant nothing to me.
Duo gasped, eyes wide.
I groaned. I had just shoved my foot in my mouth again. Dammit!
"Duo!" I grabbed his arm; thank the Dragons he didn't try to pull away. "Wyverns are required to produce one child before they are free to- to choose a life mate or not. My mother did so; my grandmother also. We all have to reproduce for the health of the Clan."
Those purple eyes were clouding up; a thunderstorm was imminent, I could see.
"Kohaku is my cousin! Her father is one of my great-grandfather's brothers! We both carry strong Dragon genes; it was a good match. Angel, please; I don't love her, except as a cousin and a good friend!" He still hadn't tried to pull away. It seemed like a good sign. "I love you," I whispered, trying as hard as I could to put every nuance of truth I could into those words.
"And your son?" he whispered.
I flinched.
"Komori is the only son I will ever have," I hedged. "I adore him."
He glared at me. "Then why is he there and you're here?! What kind of father walks away from his son?!"
I swallowed, reminding myself that he was from a race with different traditions, and different ways of dealing with their traditions.
"Because that is the way Wyverns are," I said weakly. "And I suppose that makes me a duty father. Kohaku is not my Chosen; I most certainly am not hers!"
"But what about your son? Doesn't he get a choice?"
Now I was just confused. "Duo, half the children of my Clan are duty children. It's neither unusual nor shameful." I tried again to explain. "Duo, it's been this way for generations. There is no shame to being a duty child. The very idea would appall any Wyvern. We cannot wait to fall in love and Choose to reproduce; many Wyverns never Choose, yet they carry powerful and necessary genes. It's the way our Clans stay strong." If he couldn't understand, couldn't get past this indignation, I didn't know what I would do.
"I want to meet him," Duo said suddenly. "And her. I want to meet her too. I want to see for myself."
I stared at him. "Duo, do you think I would lie to you?"
He looked at me. "I don't even want to consider that," he whispered. "But it's so... so strange. If I don't satisfy myself..."
"It'll eventually destroy any trust you have for me," I finished with a sigh. He nodded. Groaning, I pulled him to me; he didn't fight me, just pressed close, laying his head against my shoulder. This would be the time to finish the confession, I decided. I just hoped... Well, I just hoped.
"Duo, angel-my-love..."
"Oh, gods," he whined, fingers curling into my cloak. "There's more, isn't there."
"Yes..."
"Okay. Tell me so I can be mad all at once, and get over it all at once."
Get over it? Did that mean I was forgiven, or just that he wasn't hysterical anymore? No clear answer presented itself; I sighed and laced my fingers together over the small of his back. Even if he got mad again, he wouldn't be running away.
"Komori is almost four; his sister, my daughter, is six. Tsutsuji's birthday is in April."
Nothing happened. No screaming, no anger, no... reaction of any kind.
I tilted my head to look at him. "Duo? Did you hear me?"
He rolled his head on my shoulder to peer at me from one purple eye. "Is that it? A son and a daughter. Clan duty?"
My face was suddenly oddly... warm. "Well, we each had to... And she wasn't interested in anyone then... I just returned the favor. I guess." I'd never thought of how it might seem to someone outside the Clan.
Kohaku certainly wasn't romantically interested in me; we'd practically grown up together. It just happened that we were each in a position to do the other a... a favor at the necessary time...
I tried again. "Um... Would it help if I told you that she has a very persistent suitor from another Clan? His name is Kiba; I've met him, and he's imminently suitable as a Chosen and as a father." I considered for a moment. "His lineage isn't as illustrious as mine, of course, but he's a good, solid male. They'll make a good team," I finished hesitantly.
To my surprise, Duo laughed.
"And you claim I'm hard to keep up with! Heero, you jerk!"
I stared at him. I'm almost sure that my mouth was hanging open stupidly.
"When do I get to meet them? Will they come for a visit soon?"
"You... You want them to come here?"
"Well, why the hell not?" he laughed. "We'll be just like the Mundane Humans - daddies for the summer!"
That is what he said. What I heard was, "Heero, I love you madly; I will stay with you forever, and I want to protect your offspring as if they were my own."
Loosely translated.
"Okay..." The Banshee-coaster had dropped me again. I would never get used to his mood swings.
His arms encircled my waist and he licked my ear. "Let's go home, Big Lizard. Gods, this means I have three kids to spoil!"