Diversion #26 - Ii Kibarashi - Sequences
It had taken over three weeks of strenuous coaxing and four drinks tonight - doubles, even - to get Wufei to the point where his words on the subject were even coherent, but all it took now to open the floodgates was Duo's innocent question, "what's the big problem with Ling Ping Mei, anyway?" Other than the fact that Wufei was about a seven on the Kinsey scale, of course.
Wufei glared at the group of his friends. "We're out of sequence!" he snarled. "My parents betrothed me to someone who isn't even in sequence with me! My parents are in sequence." He began ticking off the names on his fingers. "Hao Xian is in sequence. Pon Fu is in sequence. Rho Shin is in sequence. Tau Lei is in sequence. An Ming is in sequence. I'M THE ONLY FUCKING ONE OF THEIR CHILDREN THAT THEY BETHROTHED TO SOMEONE WHO ISN'T IN SEQUENCE!!!" he thundered.
Everyone stared at the near-hysterical Were-Dragon. A number of blinks were heard in the silence. Finally, Duo raised his hand hesitantly.
Wufei stared at him, breathing out thin green smoke trails in his agitation. He shook himself, his glossy scales sparkling with the movement. "Yes, Duo?" he inquired pleasantly. "You have a question?" It wasn't the Banshee's fault that his parents were damn fools.
"Um... I just wondered, Wufei... Why does that matter? I mean; is it that easy to find someone else who's in sequence, or just a lucky coincidence?"
"Why does it *matter*?" Wufei echoed with a snarl. He reached for his just-refilled glass and swallowed the drink in one gulp. He drew a deep breath and let it out with a stream of blue steam. He floated lazily over to the Banshee and draped one 'arm' around his shoulders, his other paw settling lightly on Duo's forearm, where he rubbed gently.
"You see me in this form, yes?" Duo nodded. "I have a tail, I have wings, I have scales and teeth and claws," he sing-songed. Again, Duo nodded. Wufei was being a smart-ass, but Duo didn't mind; the Were-Dragon could be quite entertaining when in this kind of mood. "Now, if we have sex, what happens?" Heero Glared. Wufei ignored him. "Hypothetically, dammit."
"Um..." Duo looked him over, noting the teeth and claws. "I probably wind up wrapped in bandages like a mummy."
"Oh, good Duo! *Good* Banshee!" Wufei nodded eagerly. "You got it!"
Duo eyed him warily; he didn't *want* it. "So, not being in the same phase is a bad thing, right?"
"Well, yes, my darling little one; yes, it is. It means that my parents are willing to CONDEMN ME TO A LIFETIME OF NO DRAGON-SEX, that's what it means." He smiled pleasantly; Duo didn't move. That pleasant 'smile' with its inch-long teeth was right against his face.
"Oh. That's not good," he managed to murmur.
"And even more deplorable of them," continued Wufei as he licked Duo's face - ignoring Heero's warning growl - and then floated back to his own seat; "She's pink."
Blink. Blink-blink.
"I'm sorry?" said Duo, just because no one else seemed willing to.
Wufei waved his paw airily as he settled onto his chair. "She's pink. Ling Ping Mei is pink. She is a *pink* dragon. How tacky is that? We would clash." He signaled to the Fairy server for another drink.
Duo stared at him. "Oh, sure; of course you would. Can't have that..."
Trowa coughed softly and seemed to find his drink the most interesting thing he'd ever seen.
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