Higher Ups

Chapter 8:For Love


by Kracken


Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of them.
Warnings: Male/Male sex, graphic, language, violence, abuse,talk of non consensual sex.

"This is nice," Duo said as he looked around the small, warmly decorated restaurant. Tucked back in a corner booth, a lone candle in a vase, livened up the otherwise dimly lit room.

"You've said that five times, now," Milliardo pointed out, amused. He put down his menu and leaned closer to Duo. "This is just a date, nothing more. I'm not expecting anything other than a good meal, and good conversation, in company that I enjoy." His ice blue eyes roamed the room. "I also heard, on good authority, that they serve excellent beer batter snapper fingers."

Duo was startled and then he chuckled. "How does five star, Peacecraft, know about beer battered anything?"

"I have my sources," he replied. "I also love fried onion rings."

Duo laughed out right, "I won't divulge that information, even under torture," he vowed, raising a hand dramatically.

Milliardo smiled and went back to his menu, as he said,"I trust in you superior training. Anything on the menu look good to you?"

Duo nodded and pointed to a pan seared tuna. "A little pricey, but I don't get it that often."

"I'm paying, so order as you like," Milliardo told him.

Duo scowled. "I'm not the 'girl' here, Mill. I can pay for both of us."

Milliardo looked up, concerned. "I didn't mean to offend you. I asked for the date, and I suggested the restaurant. It seemed only right that I should pick up the bill. If you insist on paying, though, I won't argue."

Duo scowled."Why do I feel like I've been set up?"

"You did insist," Milliardo said with a straight face.

"Don't order desert, then," Duo grumbled as he looked over the prices.

Milliardo smiled and said, "Perhaps we should pay for our own meals, then. I do enjoy a brownie pie with hot fudge on top."

Duo snickered. "Deal," he replied, "because I like the cherry pie."

They ordered, and then Duo nursed a soda as Milliardo sipped at a glass of wine.

"That can't be good?" Duo wondered.

Milliardo made a face as he put the glass down. "As vinegar, it's without equal," he admitted. "How did you know?"

"The waiter unscrewed the top," Duo replied. "I've been told that's a bad sign."

"You know a wine expert?" Milliardo wondered as he arranged his napkin in his lap. Dressed in a casual, blue sweater, and dark pants, that nonetheless managed to look dressy, he had let his hair fall free in pale strands all around him. Everyone was staring at him, in appreciation of his good looks, and some because they knew who he was.

"Hilde," Duo admitted. "She's full of shit-er, good information, like that."

Something flitted over Milliardo's face and Duo could only call it jealousy.

"She is just a friend," Duo told him, feeling that it needed to be said. "I really don't swing that way."

"You may see whom you choose," Milliardo told him, stiffly formal.

"And you would be okay with that?" Duo wanted to know, feeling hurt and anger beginning to blossom.

"Not 'okay', no," Milliardo admitted, "but I don't own you. I won't act as if I do."

"Maybe you should?" Duo replied. "Maybe you should show me how much I belong to you?"

"You've had enough of that," Milliardo told him and Duo flinched as he added, " You choose who you wish to be with. I can only hope that you choose me."

They ate in near silence, Duo thinking deeply and Milliardo seemingly enjoying his meal. When it was cleared away, and the bill settled, Duo asked softly, "Can we go back to my place? Together?"

Milliardo studied him for a very long moment, and then he replied, with feeling, "I would like that very much, but is it wise?"

"If I say, stop, and send you home, will you go?" Duo wanted to know.

"Of course," Milliardo assured him. "You know that I would."

"I do," Duo agreed, "Which is why I'm inviting you."

"I would be honored to come to your home, Duo," Milliardo told him.

Duo laughed, "Just say, 'Hell, yeah!', Mill."

"Hell, yeah," Milliardo repeated in a softer tone.

Duo snickered. "Maybe you shouldn't say that. It just doesn't seem right, coming out of your mouth." He reached over and grabbed Milliardo by the elbow. "Let's go, handsome, before someone else decides to take you home."


Duo's throat felt dry as he unlocked the door of his new apartment and let Milliardo inside. He had decorated in reds and blacks and the effect was warm and cozy. Artwork consisted of tech drawings of Gundams and a small display of his awards, that Hilde had insisted he put there. The fish that he could never take care of, were gone, and it had seemed lonely without them, almost a if he were playing house, and all of his attempts at 'permanence', were just that, useless attempts.He almost expected Milliardo to be critical and to call him on the lie.

"Why do you want to be with me?" Duo whispered as he tossed his coat aside, onto a chair back. "I am so fucked up."

Milliardo frowned, trying to puzzle Duo out as he took off his long coat and carefully placed it on top of Duo's coat. He finally replied, "I like your place, but it's not you."

Duo turned, startled. "Why do you think that?"

Milliardo's long legs took him to the couch and he sat down. "You are more at home in the field or in a garage full of machinery. This place is like a show room. It doesn't look lived in."

"I liked my warehouse," Duo replied and sighed as he sat across from Milliardo in an over stuffed chair.

"You shouldn't have let anyone talk you out of it then," Milliardo told him."Sometimes, doctors can be wrong."

"They can?" Duo rolled his eyes at the apartment. "Hilde helped me decorate."

Milliardo smiled. "It shows. She would be very comfortable here."

"She is," Duo admitted with a small chuckle that quickly stopped and turned into something sour instead.

"If your old place is still free," Milliardo suggested. "Perhaps you should consider going back there?"

"It wasn't a place for princes," Duo replied and then regretted it.

"Is that an offer?" Milliardo wondered and then shook his head, his pale hair shimmering in the lamplight. "No, too soon, I think, but, perhaps, I would be lucky to hear you offer it again when you are more sure of it?"

Duo found a genuine smile then and nodded. He stood. "I can make tea, or coffee?"

"Tea would be appreciated," Milliardo replied.

They talked in opposite rooms, Duo making the tea in the small kitchen and Milliardo staying on the couch. Their conversation stayed on work, on hard cases, and frustrations, and then, when Duo finally appeared, tea in hand, he settled Milliardo's cup on the coffee table before him and then sat back in his chair to sip his.

"I thought you drank coffee?" Milliardo noted with a raised, pale brow, as he picked up his own tea and sipped it.

"Too much trouble to make both," Duo replied with a shrug.

They drank in almost silence, Milliardo intent on his tea and Duo watching him over the brim of his cup. When Milliardo finished, Duo set his tea down as well and stood up. Milliardo watched him walk around the coffee table and sit on the couch by Milliardo tentatively.

"Sorry," Duo said softly.

:"For what?" Milliardo wondered.

Duo sighed and looked embarrassed. "For doing this little dance with you. I guess I'm more nervous than I thought."

Milliardo smiled and lightly touched Duo's hand. His own was warm and sure, but not smothering. "What ever you wish, is what I want as well. I've told you that I will wait for you until you are sure of what you want."

"And if I want to end this bullshit and just... do it... you will?" Duo wanted to know abruptly.

"You don't like being afraid," Milliardo guessed.

"No," Duo replied angrily, but that anger was directed at himself.

"I am here for tea and conversation," Milliardo told him softly. "I'm not ready for anything else from you."

"You're not ready?" Duo was surprised. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you think that I want to force you? To have you in pain and fear? To take from you what you aren't ready to give?" Milliardo told him. "It isn't only about you, Duo. I don't want to be hurt, either. I don't want to be used to overcome your fear in the worst possible way. You could only hate me afterward, and you know that nothing would really be solved."

Duo sighed and then suddenly went boneless. He sprawled in Milliardo's lap, head nestled and arms lax and hanging over the side of the couch. "You're too good for me."

"Not good enough," Milliardo fenced and then touched Duo's hair lightly, to smooth it back from his troubled face.

"How the hell am I going to know when it's time?" Duo whined.

"Maybe you'll feel it, deep down inside, one day," Milliardo replied, uncertainly, "Something will tell you that it's all right to trust me."

"I do trust you," Duo retorted.

"Not completely," Milliardo replied. "In time, though."

There was silence and then Duo said plaintively, like a child, "I want my old place back.... but it'd be empty, too. Until my head figures out what I want, I don't think it matters where I sling my duffel... as long as you keep coming to it?"

"Of course I'll come," Milliardo replied. "As often as you like."

"That might be a lot," Duo chuckled and melted under the kiss that warmed the side of his cheek.


Milliardo told Duo firmly, "We don't have to do this." His naked body was saying something different, his sizable erection eagerly at attention.

Duo shivered and stared at the lube that Milliardo was placing on the bed, along with a towel, and a few small pillows. Naked, and hair loose and hanging over his shoulders, he felt very young and small next to Milliardo's bigger size. It was making him rethink his decision to try and overcome his fears.

The workout, at Milliardo's smaller home, had seemed a good idea, a next step in their relationship and a show of trust on Duo's part. They had made use of an outdoor gym, taken a few rugged trails, and had ended up sipping drinks in bathrobes after taking hot showers. A few tender kisses, and Milliardo's clear concern and sensitivity, had spoken to something deep inside of Duo. That inner voice, that Milliardo had talked about months before, was speaking to Duo now, and telling him that it was time. It had seemed so clear, and he had felt so sure, until the clothes had come off and preparations layed out, though.

Cock tease, a memory called him, and Duo winced, as he clutched the bed sheets.

Milliardo noticed and sighed. He sat on the edge of the bed and then leaned in closer to Duo. "May I just touch you? It won't go any further than that."

Duo looked at Milliardo's large, strong hands. Stop being a wuss, he told himself, and managed a shaky nod.

Milliardo slowly drew Duo's hand from it's death grip on the sheet and gently massaged the back. His thumbs smoothed over Duo's skin and pressed into the joints while Duo watched, nervously fascinated and liking the feeling. Next came his wrist, then his forearm, and then his shoulder. The feel of calluses, as Milliardo periodically trailed his fingers up and down Duo's arm, was strangely erotic.

Images flashed through Duo's mind, Heero's hand knotted in his hair, forcing him down. He flinched, involuntarily, and Milliardo let his hand drop.

"I'm sorry," Duo told him and began to get up.

Milliardo stretched out on the bed, on his stomach, and said. "There's nothing to be sorry for, but, if you're not up for a massage, could you do an old man a favor and work some of the kinks out of my shoulder muscles?"

"Old man?" Duo snorted as he settled back on the bed. "I think you're just a few years older than me."

"But I feel those years more," Milliardo chuckled. "Please, Duo?"

"All right," Duo replied.

With a few words, Milliardo had put him at ease and had made the guilt go away. He wasn't going to force Duo. Arousing Milliardo didn't mean that he had to satisfy him, and that he was a bad person for not doing that, Milliardo's whole demeanor said to him.

Milliardo's ass was hard, but rounded smoothly as it dipped towards powerful legs. His balls were visible between his slightly parted legs, as was the light blonde hair dusting him there and between his thighs. His waist was long and lean, coming up to incredibly wide shoulders and large biceps. His blonde hair was loose, just like Duo's, and sprayed over his back and the pillows under his head. The sight made Duo hard and his hand smoothed over his own erection, wanting, but still unsure.

Milliardo sensed the hesitation and offered quietly, "I'm not apposed to being the bottom. If you would like..."

That didn't seem right, somehow, though Duo didn't think of himself as the 'woman' and Milliardo as 'the man' in any way. It had just felt natural to want Milliardo over him, being the dominant and taking the lead. The thought of opening his legs and letting that sizable erection inside of him was making him even harder. That excitement was much less when he imagined pushing himself into Milliardo's rock hard ass.

"No," Duo said, licked dry lips, and then decided, "Roll over."

Milliardo obeyed his order and couldn't help an embarrassed blush when his erection stood tall like a banner. "Sorry. I really can't help that."

"Neither can I," Duo said softly, pulling his hair aside and showing his own hard on.

"We can choose not to do anything about it, though," Milliardo told him and began to sit up. "I meant it when I only asked for a shoulder massage."

Duo's hand on his chest stopped him and he looked surprised when Duo pushed him back flat on his back. "Maybe... Maybe I want more than a massage," Duo replied. "As long as I call the shots, I think we can do this."

Milliardo began to spread his legs obediently. "Some lube on your fingers, to loosen me first, then."

Duo opened the cap on the lube, spread some on his fingers, and then wrapped his hand around Milliardo's erection. "If I remember right from class," he said in a tight voice, "This goes on the person who's going in."

Milliardo's blue eyes narrowed. "Duo, this might not be a good idea."

"I'm the one who knows that best, right?" Duo told him as he concentrated on covering Milliardo's thick, hard length. "Just keep still, and let me do everything, okay?" His hand paused and he said, hating to peel back and reveal the core of his fear, "It was being powerless that scared the shit out of me; knowing that all of my strength wasn't worth crap against Heero, and that somebody could do whatever they wanted to me. I need that control back, or I'll never be able to do this."

"I understand, love," Milliardo replied softly, "Please, though, listen to my direction, or there might be pain."

Duo felt his erection fade at the thought of pain. Pushing himself down on Milliardo's hard length couldn't help but hurt. "I need to be... loosened. I can do that.... just... don't look."

Milliardo ran a hand soothingly down Duo's arm and then put his own arm over his eyes. Duo felt childish, but he didn't want Milliardo doing him the service and he was too embarrassed to have a spectator. Using the lube on his fingers, he tentatively explored himself, and then pushed a finger in.

"You're a lot bigger than a finger," Duo found himself saying as he squirmed uncomfortably to get that finger in.

"A body can stretch a great deal, without pain, if done slowly," Milliardo replied without looking at him.

"Is that from experience?" Duo wondered as he winced and shoved in another finger.

"I'm not a virgin," Milliardo confessed, "Not in any sense."

Duo moved his fingers in and out, feeling looser with every stroke. His hand was shaking though, knowing that he was that much closer to the moment of truth.

"Go carefully," Milliardo told him. "Take as much time as you need." he paused and then said, "Even now, Duo, we can stop this if you're not certain."

Duo wrapped his hand around Milliardo's erection again and tested it's slickness while his fingers tried to open himself to his estimate of it's thickness. It was going to hurt, he was certain of that. Stopping, though, wasn't something that he wanted to do. Having Milliardo sprawled out before him, his big erection in Duo's hand, was triggering every part of him that wanted men, that wanted Milliardo Peacecraft in particular.

"I think... I think I'm ready," Duo said and hated how unsteady his voice was.

"Your pace," Milliardo told him as Duo straddled his hips, still holding onto Milliardo's erection. "Slow, easy, but you will have to work it in past a ring of muscle early on. That might sting. Once past that, though, and it will be better."

"I'm the one that went to sex class, Milli," Duo reminded him. "I doubt that you ever took something this big, either."

Milliardo stayed silent on that point and Duo pulled his arm away from his eyes. Those blue eyes were troubled. That melted Duo's fear, knowing that Milliardo was afraid for him.

"It's going to be okay," he reassured Milliardo. "I can do this."

Milliardo's hands settled on Duo's hips, kneading him there lightly. His eyes roamed over Duo's body, his long cinnamon hair, and his handsome face and said, "You look incredible. You are incredible. I'm a lucky man, whether we decide to go any further, or not."

Duo found a smile, lifted his body up onto his knees, and positioned Milliardo at his entrance. "Here goes, lover."

The head seemed impossible large. Duo swirled it around his entrance, trying to work up the courage, and then slowly pushed it inward. It was uncomfortable, intrusive, and not as easy as he imagined. When his inner ring of muscle stopped all progress, he knew that he had to endure a moment of sheer pain, to get past it.

"Slowly," Milliardo warned and held Duo still. "Test it. Push against it and then back up, going further each time."

Duo followed Milliardo's instructions, teasing that ring, and making it open wider and wider each time. "Say ah," Duo finally said, gritted his teeth, and shoved past. He hissed and stopped, the ring protesting, but Milliardo was pushing in further, getting in past that pain, and then stilling all together.

"Wait," Milliardo told him, kneading Duo's hips again as Duo leaned over him, head down, and breathing hard. "We can still stop," Milliardo told him.

"Like hell!" Duo snickered and grinned at him. "This is suppose to be the good part."

Milliardo relaxed, chuckling back, but then he was more serious. "Is it all right?"

Duo concentrated and then nodded. "It's like sitting on a rocket... but... yeah... not bad."

They made love, then, Duo riding Milliardo with more and more confidence as he loosened inside. Finally, he grabbed Milliardo and rolled them over until he was on the bottom. Raising his legs and grabbing onto Milliardo's hair with both hands, he hissed, "Do me, good, lover!"

Milliardo was still careful, treating Duo tenderly, as he moved slowly in and out of him. When he orgasmed, it was powerful, and he shouted loudly enough to echo off of the walls. The slow pull out was almost pain. Milliardo could have stayed in his love all night long, but he had another duty to perform, one that he was going to enjoy just as much.

"Was it good?" Duo wondered, sweating and panting hard, thinking that it was over.

"Please tell me afterward," Milliardo replied and slid down Duo's body to take Duo's erection into his mouth. He worked Duo, sucking deep and hard, and loving the way that Duo gripped his hair hard and moaned loudly. When he came, Duo bent forward, grasping at Milliardo as Milliardo sucked him dry.

Duo fell back onto the bed, gasping for air between words as he shouted out, "That... was...the ... most... fucking... fantastic...best thing... ever!!!"

Milliardo smiled, sated, as he slid up to lay beside Duo. "It was fucking fantastic, love," he agreed.

Duo looked at him with wide eyes and then burst out laughing.

Milliardo became more serious, then, pulling Duo in close and cupping Duo's face with his big hands. "I do love you."

Duo's purple eyes searched Milliardo's and then he replied, "That's good, because I really, really, love you." His hand slid down between them and grabbed Milliardo's still hard erection. "Now that we both agree about that, can we both agree that we need to do that, over and over, again, all night long?"

Milliardo kissed him sweetly and then replied, "You may be sore... but I am willing."

"Well, there are other ways, you know?" Duo reminded him.

"You are the one who went to sex class," Milliardo agreed.

"Graduated top of my class, too," Duo snickered.

"Then I'll let you teach me," Milliardo replied and pulled Duo in for a deeper kiss.



"You're grinning," Hilde noticed as Duo sat at his desk with a cup of coffee.

Duo sipped his coffee, and then laughed, as he replied, "Hilde, do you know what an absolutely hot thing it is, to wrap, a tall, handsome prince around you, and do him until he screams your name?"

She looked jealous as she said, "I don't have the equipment, Maxwell."

He snickered, "Too bad, because I do."

She leaned in close, eying him intently."Are you really saying that big and in control, let you... top, is that how they say it?"

"Yes, he did," Duo replied and his eyes shown. "You know, Hilde, I don't know how I lived without him, really I don't."

"Is that the sound of a moving truck?" Hilde wanted to know with wide eyes.

"It would save on the constant commute," Duo hedged.

"That must mean that you haven't asked him yet?" Hilde guessed. "What are you waiting for?"

Duo lost his happy gleam. "I... I feel a little, like things are still..."

"What?" Hilde prodded.

"Unfinished," Duo replied as if he wasn't sure of it himself. "Mil made everything wonderful. We had some rough patches, though, and I can't say there won't be more, but he's gone a long way to getting rid of my problems where a relationship is concerned."

"Have you talked to the therapist?" Hilde wanted to know as she sipped at Duo's coffee herself."Maybe he'll know why you're dragging your ass about this. For once, Duo, let your dick lead the way, like a good male usually does, and get married to Zechs already!"

"Married?" Duo shook his head. "That's for girls. I'd be happy with just matching sheets and a place together."

"and the therapist?" Hilde growled, not letting him forget that part.

"Maybe when I get back from the mission," Duo said as he closed his laptop, finished his coffee with a long drink, and stood up.

Hilde blinked, "Mission?"

"I do still have them, you know," Duo joked and then frowned. "I'll be honest with you, Hilde, I think this mess with Heero is something that's going to be hanging over me, no matter how many sessions with the therapist I have. I can't talk my way through how he made me feel... and how he makes me feel now. I can blame myself all I want for my part in it, but being pissed off at him never goes away. I don't think I can move in with Mil, and pretend to be all right, when I'm not. He doesn't deserve that."

As if conjured by their words, Heero came into the Preventer offices, clearly angry at the two men with him. As he stood in the doorway, smackng a report against one hand, he was dressing them down with a blistering reprimand.

"Your sloppy tactics could have killed the entire team!" Heero snarled. "I want a good reason why I shouldn't can the both of you!"

"Look at your face," Hilde whispered to Duo. "He still scares you shitless, ex Gundam pilot Maxwell, and that's just wrong. Stop playing by the rules, and worrying about consequences. Dig down deep and you'll know what will really make you feel better."

"Think with my dick?" Duo wanted to know, his eyes on Heero.

"Have some balls,too," Hilde replied.

"I've got 'em," Duo snickered, "Two brass ones."

"Then let them swing, Duo," Hilde snickered back.

He eyed her, nodded, and then did what he had been wanting to do for a long while.

Heero landed on his back, hard, the two men with him scattering, as Duo stood over him and stared down, hands on hips. "You were an asshole, Yuy! Apologize!"

Heero blinked and rubbed at his jaw. "I think you almost broke my jaw," he complained, and had trouble speaking.

Duo balled up a fist again, even though his knuckles felt broken.

Heero flinched, propped himself up on an elbow, and then said, "I sincerely apologize, Agent Maxwell. I was a complete asshole to you. It will never happen to you, or anyone else again."

"Unless they deserve it," Duo added reasonably, and then reached down to pull Heero to his feet.

Security came running, but Heero waved them off. Still rubbing his jaw, he said, "I hope you have a successful mission."

Duo hesitated, and then suddenly threw himself onto Heero and gave him a bear hug. Breaking it just as quickly, he replied, "See ya in a few days, buddy!" and then he was leaving, whistling a tune, as he waved and grinned to Hilde.

Heero stared after him and then glared at Hilde. "Was that your idea?"

Hilde shrugged and growled back, "It worked, didn't it?"

Half way to his shuttle, Duo was grinning and feeling as if a weight had lifted off of his shoulders. They weren't even by a longshot, but something in his psyche had leveled off, after that punch, stopping a slow, destructive dive.

Duo whipped out his cell and dialed Milliardo. When the man answered, he said, "It's me, Blondie."

"Is that going to be my new nickname?" Milliardo chuckled.

"No," Duo told him. "It's love, as in, let's move in together and do this thing for real, love."

"I want that more than anything, " Milliardo replied and sounded on the edge of something very emotional.

Duo didn't feel too steady, himself. "We'll talk about it, when I get back from the mission. Oh, and, Mil?"

"Yes, love?" Mil replied.

"Heero is going to need some medical forms, and I'll need to be disciplined, when I get back," Duo told him.

"What happened?" Milliardo demanded.

"Uh, therapy, I guess, Maxwell style," Duo replied and then. "See you in a few days."

When Milliardo replied, "I'll be waiting," Duo felt that he could have flown the mission on his emotional high alone.














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